After a couple of good nights of sleep I've been able to accomplish a few things around the house and that makes me feel so much better. It was hard to be sad laying on couch with a messy house, it felt like I was failing at EVERYTHING. Even though I absolutely know that I did nothing wrong to make our pregnancy not work out, I was still harboring a little anger at my body for not doing more... being better. After a little sleep I've been able to step back and see things with a rational set of eyes which has been a much better outlook.
I know I am in no way over what has happened. It sucks. It has been a hard, emotional and painful experience- but, just like infertility, it does not define me. It is another difficult hoop to jump through, another cement block in the middle of the road- lucky for us, we've seen things like this before and we know we're strong enough to jump the hoops and push the road blocks out of our way. We can do hard things- over and over.
We aren't quitters... especially when it comes to our babies.