Thought Vomit...

• Life with twins in exhausting, in the absolute best way. 
• We are a traveling freak show. So much so, that when I go out and don't get stopped by at least three people I start to feel odd. 
• Watching my husband interact with our boys is one of my favorite things. 
• We know we want another baby, and I am absolutely terrified it wont happen. I think we're leaning toward not doing another fresh cycle for several reasons that I might share more about in another post someday, so its up to three frozen embryos, a spontaneous pregnancy or a change of heart about another fresh cycle waaaay down the road. 
• Laundry. There is A LOT of it. 
• Ever since the boys started sleeping through the night and dropped a feeding I've needed to be a lot more careful about what I eat. Gone are the days of this nursing mama eating anything and everything she wants!
• The boys are both drooling a TON, and constantly have their hands in their mouths. I am afraid for my nipples. 
• Once the boys started sleeping through the night it became very difficult to wake up with one of them in the wee morning hours. On the nights it happens I find it much harder than it was when they were tiny newborns-  I guess its because back then I expected it. 
• One week until Christmas. We just ordered our Christmas cards. Whoops!
• I think we're going to transition the boys from the co-sleeper (its a mini) into one of their cribs in our room this weekend. I have a feeling there isn't going to be a whole lot of sleep going on... for any of us!
• We are working on changing our spare room/office over to a playroom for the boys. It will be really nice to have a space to keep some of the larger toys. 
• My hair is falling out like crazy. We figured out my thyroid was way off which could be a contributor, or it may just be postpartum hair loss.... either way, no thank you. 
• I really need to sew some stockings for the boys....again, Christmas is in ONE WEEK.
• We've traveled for Christmas every year we've been married. This year we are not making the 2 hour drive. It will be just the four of us, and I'm looking forward to the nice relaxing holiday. Hubs is taking the whole week off, so we will have daddy home for a nice chunk of time!
• The boys take 4 or 5 one hour naps per day.. I can't wait until we can drop a couple of those and make a couple of the others LONGER! It is so hard to get things done!
• I would not change a single thing about my life right now. I am so deliriously happy- it makes me realize just how unhappy I was in the years we were struggling to get pregnant. 

The Haps...

It seems crazy to me that I haven't been back to write in this space for almost an entire month. Writing here used to be so therapeutic for me. I wish I could make it a priority now, but it seems like there are just too many things on that list right now. I think one day soon I'll find myself in a different stage of motherhood, allowing for a TINY bit more time for things like blogging... at least I hope so :)

In the meantime here is a short list of what has been happening...

• I had mastitis at the end of September- OMG, that business is PAINFUL!
• The boys started sleeping a little longer at night in October. We are no longer waking them to eat at night, but we still are waking up every 4-5 hours to eat. 
• We had a 2 month well baby visit and the boys are GROWING! At 9 weeks H was 10.3lbs and A was 8.11. They are still a little small percentile-wise, but to me H seems HUGE!
• A & H took their vaccines like champs and had very minimal discomfort afterward. In fact A was happier than his normal self...weird!
• We took our first out of town overnight trip to visit our families. It went really well. The best part was two hours in the car each way of SILENCE!
• Both boys have a new love for the swing. It is seriously magical and we've borrowed a second swing so both can swing at the same time! It has the same effect as their car seats- instant sleep!
• We had two little animals for Halloween- a giraffe and a cow. They were pretty darn cute at Daddy's office party!
• Speaking of Halloween, we spent a chunk of time at the OB's office that day. I was having HORRIBLE breast pain, but I didn't have all the symptoms I had with mastitis. It was determined I may have some sort of breast yeast infection, but I wasn't showing any symptoms except that nice razor blade pain while nursing. My doctor prescribed some AMAZING nipple cream ( same as Dr. Jack Newman APNO) and the pain subsided rather quickly thank goodness!
• I took a HUGE step and packed up the leftovers from our IVF cycle. They will soon be making their way to our RE's office for donation. Hubs was ready to do it a LONG time ago, but it wasn't until I had the boys that I was ready to give up the goods. We are fairly sure we'll do this all again, but it will NOT be happening before these expiration dates roll around!
• Packing for two babies is A LOT of work. I'm already getting things together for holiday travel. 
• I'm not a huge fan of the mini pill.... more on that another day. 

Just because you have two boobs....

.... does NOT mean breast feeding twins is easy.

 I went into breast feeding our twins much like I went into gestating two babies, with very few expectations. Let me also be clear, the expectations I did have were more negative than positive. I assumed it would be VERY difficult and I prepared myself (as a PCOSer) to have a small/ if even existent supply.

This doesn't mean I didn't prepare for the best. I bought a double electric pump, a twin breast feeding pillow and a couple of boppys. I even went as far as to purchase milk freezing bags.... ha, that last one is funny!

I hoped for the best. I wanted the best, but I never wanted to breast feed at the expense of not enjoying EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE with my babies. I know some of you are thinking- 'it doesn't have to be one or the other', and while that is true in some situations I will tell you soon how it is the truth in others.

While we were in the hospital we heard from countless people that I really need to learn to tandem feed. These people told me that if I didn't tandem, I'd most likely not continue breast feeding. I tried, and it was just too hard. It wasn't at all a bonding experience with my babies, I saw it only as a time saver, because otherwise (for me) it was more like being a cow than a mommy. In addition to it not being a warm and fuzzy experience, it was logistically a nightmare for me- a large chested woman. Not only did I need to keep my babies positioned on the pillow correctly, I also needed to keep them awake and eating (as to not make this a drawn out event!), and most importantly I needed to hold my boob in order to not suffocate my poor children on their food source. Tell me, does it sound like I have enough hands for this?!?

So, what did we do? We did what was best for us and threw all other advice out. I nurse each of my boys individually every three hours during the day and every 4 hours at night. The nursing/burping/diapering routine takes us about 1 hour, so if the boys get to sleep quickly following a feed I have 2-3 hours to sleep/relax/eat/shower before we do it all over again. I promise it feels much more like 10-15 minutes than it does like a couple of hours.

The boys both lost a decent amount of weight after birth and were slow to gain it back. Our ped. was concerned and gave us a couple of options. 1. Supplement with formula (probably forever) or 2. Seek the help of a lactation consultant and go from there. This is when I have to say I was much more committed to enjoying my boys than I was to breast feeding. I'm guessing anyone who has/had an infant can understand how difficult it was to get out of the house to an appointment. In the words of my OB, 'this is one of the many times with twins that 1+1 DOES NOT = 2'. Though I take my boys out relatively often, I couldn't get on board with committing to lactation appointments a couple of times per week in order to get things moving int he right direction. Going out in the early days was something of an all day event. We'd prepare for hours ahead, then we'd go and then we'd all recover from it for a couple of hours after we got home. Adding more of this to our weeks sounded horrible, it wasn't as if I wasn't able to still nurse them, it was just that I'd need to supplement. So, that is what we have done and I am so happy we did.

Right now the boys are eating seven to eight times per day. I generally nurse them every feeding expect for the most 'middle of the night' feeding. For that they get 2 oz. of formula and a quick diaper and we all go back to sleep as quickly as we possibly can! If I'm out and about when the boys need to eat they each take a couple ounces of formula and then I'll pump when I get home.

I have very happy boys who have taken pacifiers, fed from bottles and breast from the very beginning and we've never had a problem. I hope that twin mamas are wise enough and brave enough to do what works best for them and their babies regardless of all of the well-meaning advice.

In the very beginning I pumped A LOT (after almost every 'feeding') in order to get my milk to come in and then to get my supply up. I cannot urge you enough-- get an extra set of pump parts!! Washing parts is not at the top of your list of to-do's when you have babies who are just days old. Having a couple of sets will allow you to always have one clean set. Also- buy nipple cream. You'll need it. I like the Medela brand best.

I know there is plenty more to say on this topic, but I have a couple of babies who are starting to wake up. If you have questions about what we've done feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. I know I was CONSTANTLY looking for twin mama blogs to find out what I should be expecting!