Change of Plans...

The vast majority of this post was written a week ago, it's just taken a long time to finished tapping out the words---

It is crazy how much things can change in just the span of a month. At this time last month we were coming off our consultation with our RE, preparing to get started with our FET this month-- more accurately, this  week.

We had, just two days before our RE appointment, found out that one of our boys was lagging behind his peers (we were aware, just not of  its extent) and that he had qualified for "services" through our county's early intervention services. We were also told at that evaluation that because of his delays  we also had the option of having him assessed for autism. In  the moment, I  said "of course" but really didn't worry about it. I  was feeling fairly certain that wasn't the case. It was just before the holiday break and because early intervention is part of the school district, the evaluation process was pushed off until the new year.

Fast forward a week, when I received a packet from our RE outlining what we were about to embark on along with the deposit bill, and I had some serious second thoughts. Hubs and I talked it through and we decided that maybe it would be best to get our footing, see the evaluations through and see how things went  with our early intervention home visits before committing ourselves to more stress and appointments with testing/transfer/bed rest.

I'm not going to lie, it was a very hard decision. We were ready. So very ready.  And last night when I took the last active pill in my current package of birth control I thought to myself, "this week was supposed to be so different." This week  I should have been preparing myself for testing on Friday- instead, on Friday Hubs will take  the  day off and we will meet with our school district's autism specialist and she will explain to us how the evaluation process will look.

Obviously, we will do whatever we need to for our precious little man. No diagnosis will change how much we love and care for him. But, this week we find ourselves sorting through what-ifs. We are now hyper aware of EVERYTHING he does and doesn't do and in all honesty, it is exhausting. I'm ready to get the evaluation underway and be able to know exactly what his needs are and the best way to address them.

Of course, after Hubs took friday off, our appointment was canceled. We'll try again this evening- the specialist comes tonight to explain the process and answer our questions- she'll be back tomorrow to begin the evaluation. I'm anxious. Ready to get this show on the road, and also anxious about the results. I'm trying HARD to not put the cart before the horse, but it's tricky.

Too Fast!

Well hello there! Holy cow the weeks of this summer are sliiiiippppping away from me! I feel like summer got off to kind of a slow start and now we're just two weeks away from my itty bitty tiny (not really anymore) babies turning TWO!

This birthday snuck up on me, BIG TIME! We've had a theme in mind for months, and the pinterest planning is done, but the actual execution-- L.A.T.E! I had been thinking about invitations and knowing it needed to happen soon, but soon kinda passed me by and NOW arrived! We ended up using evite (not my favorite, I REALLY like paper invitations) and they turned out really cute. Since I couldn't find a free invitation that met our theme I ended up choosing one of their premium options and paid the $4 for it. Still incredibly cheap when the alterative  would have  run us several times that price and would have taken a few more days to arrive at our guests doorsteps-- time was running out!

I'm planning to get lots of shots of the details of the party and in a couple of weeks you'll be able to get a glimpse of our little pilots' birthday bash! So far, the door wreath is complete, the  plans for  the shirts  I'm making are underway, the menu is generally planned, now we just need to finish up a bunch of crafty projects and then we'll be on our way. Did I mention their party  is two week from tomorrow? Yeah. I may be dreaming with  that pinterest inspiration board... but, I work well under pressure so we'll see how much I manage to get done!

Aside from birthday party planning I'm registration planning for our local MOP.S group. I'm in charge of registration and let me just tell you-- I have Be You Brave.ly stuff and feathers ALL over the play room. Poor little boys have had their play room commandeered until registration and birthday party crafting is complete! Both events are in the same week, so  hopefully both go off without a hitch!

Find Your People

This morning as I was doing my  morning scroll through face.book I saw a link to an article about motherhood. It is always a valid topic for me, and generally I'll click a link if it has to do with something that is current in my life. Especially if it has been shared or reposted by someone who is in a similar season of life.




Motherhood, while always at the forefront of my mind, has been more so in that last several weeks. You see, I'm in  the depths of planning for the upcoming year with my local MO.PS steering team and I've been challenging myself  to really think about how we as moms can uplift one another. How we can help carry burdens and how we can rejoice with other moms when success is reached-- in life, but especially as moms.




This time of my life is rich. I'm blessed beyond measure- I find myself on a daily basis appreciated, well loved, challenged and above all else needed.  Sure, I may not shower for days on end,  and I  might think that brushing my teeth before noon is a big victory, but wow, I can truly say, nothing is  better.




Nothing could be better, unless it were this. Please, please take the five minutes to click on over and read an article about what it might be like to raise your children in a village. Though I think this sounds pretty incredible, I think we have ways in the world we live in now to  find a place that looks a little more like this. Moms don't have to feel alone in motherhood. Sure,  in most cases  it isn't going to work to live a life like the one depicted in the article, but what about working toward it?


What about finding moms who are where you are? Not just moms you connect with online in forums/through blogs and the like (though they are helpful too!)- but instead finding a group.


For me it has been MO.PS. My group has cried together, has talked through rough spots in parenting and in life, we've prayed for each other, we taken care of kids who don't belong to us and  we rallied around one of our own when she went  into pre-term labor at 28 weeks. I didn't know a single person when I walked  in  a little less  than a year ago, and now, I feel supported by a group of moms who know a lot about where I am right now in this pretty incredible season of life.




The moral of this story is- find your people. Create your village.  Its important- its worth putting in the work. And one last little bit- don't make your village only family members. It wasn't a choice for me to lean heavily on my family because they are a few hours down the road, and in all honesty it feels really good to know I have family to depend on AND friends.

Pinterest does it again!

I use Pinterest all the time. I use it to find recipes, art projects for the boys, decorating ideas for our home, planting ideas for our yard/garden, simple remedies for most any situation, advice on lots of things and most recently I've used it a TON to help plan for our local MO.Ps 2014-15 year. In that planning, I ran across a quote, that although very simple, I can't get out of my head. It's been several days now, and it is still there, begging to be pondered, to be implemented.

Be a fountain, not a drain.

It's so simple, and easy to remember, but one of those things I think we could all learn from. For me, during this season if life, it means encouraging my family, it means taking time to see the good in situations and celebrating that instead of focusing on the hard parts or the less than glamorous pieces of mothering small children.  I also think it means being a place (person) where people come to recharge to be revived- an oasis, instead of being the place people come to flush their stuff down or the downer of the party always unloading your hardships onto someone else. Inspire and renew instead of the alternative.

For me, this week I'm just focusing on the fountain part. Be that- if I'm succeeding at it, I don't need to worry about the other. Be a fountain. It works for me. Even just thinking it is inspiring.


-- Also, this makes two posts in two weeks, I'm practically Old Faith.ful :)

3 in 3.5

So, as promised... HERE I AM... writing something! I can feel your excitement!

Today you get to hear about preparing for baby #3. I had literally never thought of the fact that IF we get pregnant when we are tentatively planning to (I seriously laughed out loud when I wrote that!)- Planning... you would've thought I had gotten over that a LOOOONG time ago! ok- back to my  thought, if we get pregnant in the first part of 2015 like we are hoping, that will mean I will give birth to three babies in a 3.5 year span of time. Whoa. I know people do it, I just generally let out the tiniest gasp and try to conceal my widening eyes when I hear of them! I have always, ALWAYS thought those mom/families were bordering on the crazy side of things. And here I am. A nice little reminder not to judge other people's choices!

In my defense, I have twins. Its different. Or so I tell myself. But in reality, most people would likely say it makes  me more crazy. That is ok. I love this hard, sticky, wet kisses, snuggling, sometimes smelly season of life. Days can be a challenge, and nights can be exhausting but I can easily say, this is what I was made for.  Being a mom is my everything and I hope we are able to  add to  this  family of ours.  

In the meantime we are working hard to get into better shape both just for ourselves and for H & A, but also so carrying another pregnancy can be as successful  as  my twin  pregnancy. To do that, I decided I had some weight to lose.  Arg. Not all that fun, but hubs was on board to follow along so it is something we are doing together which is kind of fun.  We, very  much on a whim, decided to  go all in and attempt transitioning to a paleo influenced way of life. Um, just in time for fair/festival and BBQ season, good plan... not really. 

However- I cannot tell you how happy we've been with  it. I'm not going to lie, the first week was a little slice of hell, but ever since we  both have felt so much better in terms of overall health.  Less headaches and stomach issues for hubs and less fatigue for both of us. I'd say in general we are eating paleo about 80% of the time, and for us  that is working. We still feel good having a little added sugar or  a few carbs here or there, but when we go  off completely-- holy cow, it is amazing how quickly we are both feeling somewhat sorry for our transgression! The change in how we feel would be enough to keep me trying to maintain the diet, but dropping 12 lbs since the end of May doesn't hurt either!

I still have a ways to go before I get where I would like to be when I conceive again, but I still have gobs of time to get there!

As a side note: I want to remember as hubs and I get more and more serious about our next round of treatments, A is getting serious too. We have a big doll, like the size of a 10-12 month old. For months she has spent most of her days at the bottom of the toy basket. Until recently when A  started dragging her out, bringing her to me, giving her a kiss and walking away. It is the cutest thing EVER.Then after he's left to play with other things and I've had my fill of holding a fake baby I set her down on the floor and usually within a minute he is back at my feet holding  the baby wanting me  to take her. Looks like at least one of the boys is  ready for a little sister or brother!

six months

I just called my RE's office for the first time in a very long time. It was such a weird,  surreal experience. It was like nothing had changed and like everything had changed all at once. 

Instead of sitting on my end of the line proclaiming to the receptionist that YET AGAIN cycle day one had arrived and feeling a twinge of hope alongside the daunting reality that a baby could still be YEARS away, I was sitting in my living room with two babies giggling themselves to sleep a couple of rooms away. I was checking in on the absence of the annual babysitting bill for our embryos. ((Which leads me to a question, do you pay annually for the storing of your embryos? I was under the impression this was completely standard, but was told by someone recently that they do not pay an annual fee for storage.-- we pay about $350 per year, if you were curious. ))

Anyway, it was weird. Though I do desperately want another baby or maybe even two, it was different calling the office. I was mostly checking on the bill, but also looking into some insurance stuff for when we head back  this fall for an  FET consult with hopes of a transfer in early 2015. Somehow it just wasn't as terrifying.  I get that I have two perfect babies at home, perhaps knowing the physicians already makes it easier, or maybe it is just that I have more of an understanding of what to expect. I know the drill. I suspect that come fall/winter I  will find plenty of things to stress about, but until then, I am so grateful for this complete calm about what is  ahead.  

In other news- we're having a garage sale  this weekend. How is it that every single time I forget how much work it  is to have one? I know it will  feel great to get several things out of our house and to gain a little cash for  the things we don't need anymore, but seriously, somebody remind me next year that it is a TON of work to get it all pulled together! Thankfully Hubs is  totally on board for helping so, fingers crossed, it should be an enjoyable weekend of hanging out  outside and getting rid of all the things that take up every bit of our garage!

What else? The boys are HUGE. We sneak in most nights on our way to bed and cover them up and last night we both just couldn't hardly take how big they looked in their cribs. My babies will be TWO in less than two months. -- H is a horrid sleeper and wakes up most nights somewhere between 1 and 3am. He has a horrible time getting  back to sleep and most of the time in the last couple of weeks he has needed to come to bed with us in order to settle back down-- unless I want to rock him for two hours, which for the record, I do not. This is one of those 'twins are way harder' areas. If  it was just H,  I could easily sleep in forever in the morning with him, but his stellar sleeper of a brother tends up  wake up for  the day just about  the time H is finally calming down on the roughest nights. If you are following along that means this mama of VERY busy twin almost two year olds  doesn't get enough sleep. 

Does all of that sleep talk make you wonder WHY in the world I would even consider wanting to get pregnant again? Yeah, me too! But, I have hope that by the time I'm growing another babe both boys will be sleeping much better. Six months. Surely we can do it. Right?

Liebster...

I've received the liebster blog award a handful of times and I think I've played along a couple of times, and while I'm not going to pass it along, I am going to answer the questions because I think you and I can totally agree... this blog is in a SLUMP! And I'm also doing it because I want y'all to click on over to Kelsey's blog Kinder Coaster and show her a little old fashioned infertile love. She's in the early stages of this mess and could use a pat on the back, a little IF advice and the sense of community we've all grown to love... so go, give her your best IF secrets, but you can leave out the old pillow under the hips trick, I think she has heard that one before :)

1. What is a little known fact about you? 
My thumbs are double jointed, my mom's thumbs are double jointed and it is looking like both of the boys may be also. Weird.
2. What are your favorite hobbies?
When I find the time/energy/creativity I love to sew and craft. I've made a number of things and its a goal of mine to sell at least one thing I've made someday.
3. What bores you to tears?
Movies that require too much thought. You know, like the kind you need to take notes during so you know what the efffff is going on. I don't mind something thought provoking- I just hate those scattered movies that go between reality and dreams.
4. Favorite genre or type of reading?
I love something inspirational-- the genre doesn't matter to me as much as the ending. I'm at a point in my life where I really just want to read happy endings. I feel like reality is so full of not-so-happy endings, I'd rather spend my free time indulging in happy!
5. Book recommendations?
The Idiot Girl's Guide To.... every single one I've read was funny- crude, but funny. I also love almost any Jody Picoult book (though those don't really fit the always happy ending rule).
6. Most annoying thing to hear as an infertile woman?
The list is looooooong! One of my least favorite things, was people speaking poorly of their children and their choice to have them.
7. Do you have pets? Tell me about them!
No pets! My husband is constantly wanting a dog but is totally understanding of the fact I need nothing more to take care of at this stage in the game!
8. Are you an Early Bird or Night Owl?  By choice or by circumstance?
I'm more of an early bird, but with the boys, now I'm a bit of both... not really by choice! I tell my husband at least once a week how much I LOVE climbing into bed. It is one of my favorite parts of the day. Not because I don't absolutely love all that I do all day, but getting into bed is how I recharge and get ready for another full day with my two favorite little people!
9. Guilty pleasure/s?
Trashy TV. If I don't have a bunch of chores to catch up on around the house, I generally sit down during the boys' naptime and watch some tv while I eat my lunch. This is the time I can watch anything I want and if it is on bra.vo or E! I'm probably watching it.... and most likely thinking, 'why do I watch this garbage?!?!'
10. Best piece of advice/encouragement for others on the IF journey? AND/OR Please share any infertility-related, Oprah-style "Aha Moments."
Keep track of everything. I started a binder when I started seeing the RE. All of the handouts I received went into that binder in case I needed them at some point. Things from what to expect with procedures, information about the drugs I was taking, etc. During treatment cycles I'd also print a blank calendar to record all appointments on. That way the next similar cycle I'd be able to kind of guess when things like IUI's and ultrasounds may take place. Once I started IVF I kept up the calendar and placed pages behind it to document other info from the appointment- blood work levels, follicle counts/sizes/medication dosing instructions. These pages had room for 3-4 appointments and served as a fantastic resource to look back on when we did our second round of IVF.

Mini-van...

So, the time is coming.

Like getting really, really close.

The Sub.aru is going to get traded. My once upon a time "mom car" is already been/being out grown. It will likely be a better fit in a few months when the boys turn around in their car seats, but in reality, the amount of stuff required for traveling with twins + our monster very well loved stroller + monster car seats = a need for a much larger car! I am so excited to be able to get everyone inside the car and then worry about getting everyone strapped in and ready to go. Seriously, I HATE standing in the rain and also as the boys get older it is becoming more possible to get in and out of stores without the stroller, but getting one to stand with me while I strap the other in-- IMPOSSIBLE. Its time. I kind of didn't think I was ready, but the time has come and as we think about adding to our family I know it is one of those things that just cant be avoided.

So, my dear readers, which one do you have? Have you rented one on a vacation that you loved? We aren't planning to buy new- it is just not our style. At this very moment we are almost certain, we'll buy a Honda Odyssey.

Crib Blankets?

We live in a home that has a relatively old heat pump. When the temps get low at night and either very slowly warm during the day, or don't warm up much as the day goes on, it makes for a somewhat chilly house. We have a couple of space heaters, one in the boys' room and one that is either in the living space or our bedroom depending on time of day. The boys' room is kept at 70 degrees over night and at nap time and they sleep on a fleece crib sheet in fleece pajamas. Each of the boys has a small lovely blanket they sleep with, but it is very small, nothing large enough to cover with.

My question is, when did you start allowing your child to sleep with a blanket, something larger than a small lovie- something that could provide some warmth? I'm not sure I'm ready- but I thought it might help to know what other mamas have done.

Knowing..

We've been talking a ton about adding to our family lately. Honestly, ever since the early days if parenting twins we've been talking to the boys about the sibling(s) they'll have someday. We've always known. It's never really been a question, even on the most difficult if days-- this mama's heart is sure, there will be another-- at least one, maybe more.

I  received an email recently asking me about having twins and  how and when we made the decision that we wanted more.  I never answered the email because each time I started to type, the words sounded so silly to me,  cliché and canned. So unhelpful to this person several states away that I don't know. But here is what I should have said....

• I knew when I was a little girl that I'd be pregnant more than once. I never really idealized pregnancy as a child, I just imagined I'd do it more than once. 
• Hubs and I both grew up in families with three kids, we both always assumed we'd likely have the same. 
• Even through the countless fertility treatments, I still imagined doing it all more than once. 
• When I got pregnant with twins I was (am still am) completely satisfied, but I still knew I'd like another if it was possible. 
• As I went through a very uneventful pregnancy with multiples, I knew I could and God willing, would do it again. 
• When my boys were born screaming and peeing, and I watched as my husband became a daddy- I knew. 
• When I held and kissed slimy babies who knew me from their first breath as their mama, I was sure. 
• And, my feeling have only been affirmed since then- I hope and pray it's all possible again. I am a mom through and through. 

All of that said, I know it isn't the same for everyone. Some take a long time to realize something, or rather somebody, is missing from their family. One things I've heard over and over from seasoned moms who are done having babies- you will know. There will be a moment of clarity. Sometimes its in the trenches of a tough situation- sometimes its when your family just feels so right and full in a perfect moment. I obviously can't say if that is true or not, because I am not there yet. I hope that in just the same way I know I'd like another, someday I'll have a peace about being done as well.

A special day...

Two years ago, on the day after Thanksgiving, just before I headed out with my family to do some black Friday shopping, hubs gave me my first stimulation  injection to kick off the cycle in which we made our boys! Though today isn't the same 'date' and isn't exactly two years later.... the day after Thanksgiving will always be the day we started making the babies who made me a mama!

I've always loved this day. Now, I just love it even more!

Tricks my kids do... part two

I'll be the first to admit we haven't fully baby proofed our house. We've set up blockades and moved furniture around, but we haven't gotten totally serious about it because 'easy' baby proofing was working-- mostly.

Until today.

I was laying on the couch icing my back -- which is still a little sore from the back issues I experienced a couple of weeks ago. The boys were in and out of the living room, back and forth to the playroom. It got pretty quiet and then came a ridiculous amount of laughter from both boys. I was as quiet as I could be as I inched around the corner into the playroom. One of the blockades we'd used was an ottoman holding up a large pillow covering the bottom of a bookcase where we house some office supplies. A had gotten up on top of the ottoman before to press the printer button over and over and over, but that wasn't what was happening today.

Today BOTH of my children where standing up on a relatively small, slightly angled leather ottoman playing what can only be described at the baby version of king of the hill. I laughed first, just for a second-- then I saved their lives.

Seriously, each day we don't have to make a trip to the ER I count as a win! I'm still very skeptical we'll make it to 2 without stitches or some other dramatic event. Boys will be boys I guess!

Packing up

It is holiday travel season, and traveling with kids is HARD work! While hard, it is totally doable with a little extra preparing. For us, making a list is key, and thinking of each part of our day while we are away is a big deal. I find that if we can keep up with our routine as much as possible it makes our days and more importantly nights, easier. Not to mention the transition back home again. So, here is a bit of our list for our boys at 15m.

• Pack-n-play -- the place we are staying already has one crib for the other boy.
• Lovies and lollies-- don't cross my babies at bedtime.
• A portable highchair-- both homes we will be eating meals in has either one or two high chairs so our portable will supplement.
• TOYS! One home has an insane amount of toys, the other has just a few, so we will take a good sized basket of favorites with us.
• Food. We'll pick this up when we arrive, but it is so important to have things the boys will eat. When you're away from home, so much is already different, food can be one thing that stays consistent.
• Obviously clothing and shoes.
• Medications and a thermometer. Nothing is worse than thinking your kid feels hot when you're out of town and having to run to Walgreens in the middle of the night!
• Any and all of the things that help your kiddo sleep. For us that means music and the firm little pillow H uses at night.

Most importantly take your camera or phone and snap some pictures of family and friends loving on your babies!

Things that make me crazy...

• H learned to climb up on the couch. He hasn't fallen off yet, but I'm sure its only a matter of time.
• Fruit flies. Seriously, tell me your secrets because I may go completely insane very, very soon.
• Forgetting about a load of laundry in the washing machine and having to re-wash it.
• When the UPS man rings the doorbell, during naptime.
• Waking up in the middle of a cool dream.
• Letting Hubs drive my car to work but forgetting to ask him to leave the stroller behind.
• Junk mail.
• Stepping on cheerios.
• People who refer to my boys as 'the twins'... I know, I'm weird.
• Realizing after I just got perfectly comfortable in my bed that I forgot to do something.
• Babies with runny noses.
• Making a meal for H & A and both of them refusing to eat it.
• Looking outside the day following an afternoon spent raking leaves.

Life Lessons from Tiny Humans...

There are millions of things to do in a day. Big, small, important, unnecessary. You get the idea.

Life with a baby, let alone twins, is hard work. There are diapers to change, meals to feed, nursing to do, bottles to wash, laundry, food scraps to sweep up, tummy time to supervise, sleepy babies to rock, dishes to do, meals to make... and those, for the most part are just the things on the must do list. Its hard and its rewarding. Its the best job I've ever had, but it is also overwhelming (especially at first) and exhausting.

I'm not saying this to complain. Not even a little.

I'm saying this to explain: there is a lot to do BUT, its ok if you aren't perfect. Because you are perfect in your baby's eyes. You are their everything. And I promise, they will not notice if your sink is full of dishes or your bathroom needs a good scrub down, they likely wont notice if your hair is a wreck or if you didn't brush your teeth this morning.

It wasn't until a few weeks into my new role as a mama of twins that I realized it. I can't do it all. And further more, I don't care. I am much more interested in being with my boys. Watching them learn to climb, discover new things, mimic things I model. Sure, I could get more done on my days at home, but I've resigned myself to the fact that my house just isn't going to be picture perfect anymore (unless we are expecting company), at least not for a few more years.

When I wake up in the night and nearly break my neck on some toy with wheels that was left in the hallway the night before, I thank God. I smile and pretty often my eyes get a little wet as I walk into the nursery to calm an upset baby. Because I have babies. Something I spent a long time wondering if I'd ever say.

Those babies, I love them to pieces. They've taught me what is important. They taught me to hold on to the very few things that are important to me, and let the other stuff slide.

Life, surprising as this may seem, is simpler now. We added two babies to our family and somehow, unexplainably so, I find life so much simpler and certainly sweeter.

Baby Art

I just about let a day slip through the cracks. Good thing I didn't hop into bed the second I put the boys down tonight like I often do, thank goodness for DVR'd episodes of Dexter!

I have a random question, and because I know some of you mamas of littles have a pinterest 'problem' I hope one of you has an answer for me!

We're going to an event this week where each of the boys will get to make a tile with their handprint. The only handprint thing we've done is me tracing the outside of their hands. So, veteran paint hand printers... what is the trick? IS there a trick, or are we destined to have two fist prints this year?!?

Meal Ideas??

So, as I said a few days ago- I am trying to lose a bit of weight and get more healthy. In the quest for this, I've found eating breakfast- and a relatively big one- really, really helps! Most days I have one egg, two links of turkey sausage and a piece of double fiber wheat toast. It works for me. I feel pretty stinking full most of the morning because it has a good amount of protein. I've found many other breakfast options with a similar number of calories but not as much protein leave me looking for a snack during naptime. While I'm not opposed to a snack, often it isn't something healthy that sounds good-- chocolate chips, anyone?!

For lunch I rotate between a few options, but I haven't found anything I really am set on yet. I'm the kind of person who could easily eat the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day if I like it. So, ideas welcome- I'd love to find something I like and just eat it everyday, it would make my life so much easier!

As for dinners, this is where I like my variety, and its a good thing because hubs would not be pleased if I made him eat the same things over and over and over! I generally try to leave a decent amount of calories for dinner because then we have more options, but we also are trying to get into a better habit of feeding the boys what we are eating so that means having yummy salads every night isn't totally feasible for us right now. I need some healthy ideas that may also be somewhat kid friendly.... anyone?!?

In general I'm steering clear of buying snack type foods and opting instead for apples, cheese and relatively healthy granola bars. My very favorite snack lately is stove popped popcorn made with coconut oil. It needs nothing more than some sea salt when it comes off the stove and we LOVE it. Hubs and I have recently started making a pot (1/4 of a cup un-popped to share) a few nights a week after the boys have gone to bed. We share it while we catch up on DVR'd shows or play a board game. It seems like a treat, even though it isn't too bad for you, especially when consumed with a HUGE glass of ice water-- or two!

So, what are your favorite healthy meals and snacks? I'd love to find a little variety!

HI!

Some of the littlest moments of motherhood are the best! This week I took the boys to the mall to wander and get out of the house on a rainy day. Since all of the children's departments seem to be on the upper floors of stores, we took several elevator rides. H has always had kind of an uneasy face when we travel in an elevator, but this day was different. He thought it was hilarious to shout HIIIIIIIIIII when the doors would open. It was too funny.

It is this simple little moments with my boys that I never want to forget!

A day in my life with (almost) 15 month old twins!

6am-7am: The first cry or Dadadadadada is heard and depending on time and how awake I am, I either get the baby (or both) and bring him/them back to our bed for a little snuggling or we head out to the living room to play.

8:30am: Breakfast. Lately my children are VERY picky. It hasn't always been this way, and hopefully it will not always be this way, but for now, they usually have fruit and either toast, a pancake or a waffle.

9:00-10:00am: Diaper changes and lots of playing. We are usually in and out of the playroom a million times, scooting around on push/ride-on toys and generally acting like the circus show we are. On days that it isn't raining this is the time I load up the stroller and go for a 30-45 minute walk.

10:00am: The boys have a sippy cup and milk mixed with a small amount of formula and go to bed for somewhere between 1 and 2 hours.

12:00pm: More playtime and diaper changes.

1:30pm: Lunch. Again, we are picky. Sometimes they like grilled cheese, quesadillas, flat bread, ham and cheese. They always like chunks of fruit or a pouch or pureed fruit or vegetable.

2:00-3:00pm More wild playtime, errands and diaper changes

3:00pm: Another nap- I think I may die when they no longer take two. they again have a sippy cup of milk and sleep for 1-2 hours.

5:00pm: We play, play, play and wait for daddy to get home. Change diapers and have a snack if they seem hungry.

6:00-7:00pm: Dinner. We are trying our best to start eating more as a family, but is dang hard when you run a short order kitchen trying to get your kids to eat SOMETHING. ANYTHING!

7:30-8:30pm: We play, change diapers, give vitamins and reflux meds, clean up snotty noses, drink some milk, change into jammies, sometimes have a bath, and otherwise get ready for bedtime.

8:30pm: The boys hop into their cribs, find their lollies and sleep soundly (hopefully all night!) and mama lets our a huge sigh of relief that we've made it through another wonderful day!

$42,620

I know I've spoken pretty freely about the infertility insurance we were blessed with through my husbands employer. Were. Past tense, he ended his position with them last Friday and began a new position with a new company today. One of the biggest worries I had with him changing jobs was how that would impact our family building plans. With our previous policy we were VERY blessed to have 'full' coverage for 6 iui's and 3 ART courses of treatment (3 fresh or frozen IVF cycles). We live in a state that does not have mandatory coverage laws when it comes to infertility, so it was a huge blessing that Hub's company was based in a state (IL) that did have such mandates. It was a pretty big surprise to find out that our new policy would also have a bit of coverage. Though it isn't as impressive as the last package, it is something-- and money that we will not have to come up with when we are ready for an FET. Thank goodness!

In an effort to keep some info from our infertility treatment days without searching through EOBs, I took a little time today on our old insurance company's website to make a list of what we've spent on infertility and also a list of what was billed- since our new policy is a dollar amount instead of a # of cycles.

I kind of wanted to throw up when I saw that number. I talked to my mom last week and kind of off the cuff said without our coverage we probably would have spent about $40k on treatments so far. When I said that it seemed like a big number that was probably inaccurate. Guess who was painfully close to correct?

$42,620 for consults, testing, six IUIs and two fresh IVF cycles.

Oh my gosh. What would we have done if we didn't have that coverage? Found a way I suppose, but I am even more thankful now than I was then. To paint the whole picture, we only paid about 12.5% of that out of pocket-- most of which was co-payments.

Insane. It is heartbreaking to me that there are so many couples who are unable to do all that we've done because they don't have the insurance coverage we had and the money just isn't there to afford trying for the baby/babies they long for.