One Body, TWO Babies...

I had an email from someone recently... or at last kind of recently, asking about life after giving birth to twins. Not really wondering how it was being a Mama to twins, but more about my recovery/body/mind. Since I'm finding myself this morning with two boys who are sleeping soundly, I thought I'd give you a quick list-

• I gained 40 lbs exactly when I was pregnant. I had lost every last pound by the time I went to my postpartum appointment two weeks after they were born. I did NOTHING to make this happen. 
• While I was pregnant I got about 4 stretchmarks. Another popped up about four days postpartum- I have NO idea how/why that happened.
• I had a c-section and was never really constipated in the end of my pregnancy or postpartum. However, somehow I managed to have a hemorrhoid in the first week or two I was home- not fun, be prepared!
• I can honestly say I had no baby blues/depression postpartum. I have never in my life been as tired or as happy as I have been in the last 8 weeks (or 10 months for that matter).
• I have never in my life (even while pregnant) been as hungry as I am now. In the first couple of weeks postpartum I wasn't starving, but since then I could eat about 6 meals a day- nursing twins is no joke!
• My hair is starting to fall out (not hugely) and I'm not totally sure if it is postpartum hair-loss or in conjunction with my thyroid evening out and swinging slightly Hyper instead of Hypo. 
• My biggest fears going into my c-section were the epidural, the catheter, and having the staples removed- none were worth worrying about. 
• I'm mind is mush. I can't remember ANYTHING. For this reason we are still, at 8 weeks postpartum, writing down feedings (which side for which baby) and diaper changes. Believe me, this is important. Had we not done this we would have had no idea how long it had been since one of our little guys had poo'd when he was constipated. 
• I've found that I need to leave the house at least a few days a week. It can been me running to the grocery store (alone!!) in the evenings, or going out with the boys during the day- we are all happier on our busier days than we are just sitting at home all day.
• I have also found that getting up, taking a shower, drying my hair and putting on make up all lend themselves to a more productive/happy day. Though I LOVE to stay in my sweats al day fro time to time, I feel like I get a lot more done after I've really woke up for the day.

And here, just because this person asked for it, is what my belly looks like 8 weeks after having twins. I'd say it is getting pretty close to where it was when I got pregnant. I was no where near washboard abs before  I had the boys, so I don't think it is going to happen now :)

Weightloss: Good for Mama, not for babies

It is a well known fact that the weight babies are when they are born is rarely the weight they are shortly after birth. This held true for both of our boys. A, our smaller guy, lost some weight but only about 4-6% of his body weight which is well within the normal range. H, on the other hand was reaching toward the danger zone as he was creeping close to a 10% loss. My milk was not yet in, and my colostrum was being split between two tiny mouths. We were advised to offer each of the boys a small amount of formula. Though I wasn't super excited about it, I knew in my gut it was what we needed to do. Thankfully both boys began gaining weight. We continued offering a small amount of formula after every-other feeding up until our first pediatrician appointment.

At our first appointment our doctor told us that we could play around with our feeding a bit and see what worked best for us and the babies. My milk was in at this point and I wanted to try feeding them just breast milk. We went along like this for a couple of weeks until our two week appointment. At this appointment we learned that in one weeks time the boys had only gained a couple of ounces each. Not great. So, she suggested doing one of two things- either meet with a lactation consultant to see what they suggested OR go back to supplementing after every other feeding with a small amount of formula. After some careful thought we decided to go the formula route. It was what my gut told me to do, and I think my mama instincts were correct. We had a weight check one week later and each of our boys gained a significant amount of weight. H gained 10 ounces and A gained 7. Yahoo!

Thankfully the weight gaining saga is on the upswing and we have one more weight check scheduled for two weeks after the last, just to be sure the gain is still happening. Hopefully Wednesday will bring good news of growing boys!

Mama on the other hand is (or rather, was) dropping weight like CRAZY. On the morning of my c-section I had gained exactly 40 pounds from the day the boys were transferred. At my 2 week postpartum appointment, I had lost 42 pounds. I can assure you I haven't in anyway TRIED to lose the weight. Life with twins is busy. I am up and down off the floor constantly changing diapers, breastfeeding two babies, eating whatever is prepared in the fridge and then starting again. It is a busy that I would not trade for any other job in the world- and if it is going to make me lose weight... heck yes! I will add that after losing that first 42, I've lost nothing more and have maybe gained back a pound or two. Life if getting a little easier as I get into a little bit of a routine and my appetite is slowing coming back. Nursing two growing boys several times a day leaves me eating pretty much anytime I am not feeding another hungry mouth :)

Over sharing...

I've said before, there are a lot of reasons why I keep my blog anonymous. One of largest reasons, is so I am able to write whatever I want and not feel uncomfortable completely and totally over sharing. 

Today is one of those days.

I have a funny story. Well, perhaps not funny, it certainly was more disappointing than funny in the moment, but now I'm just laughing about it. 

So, even though I'm home everyday and not really venturing out too often, I've been trying to at least get myself kind of ready everyday- just in case these boys decide to come. For me, this means taking a shower, shaving my legs and putting on clothing that is approximately 1/2 a step higher than pajamas. 

Yesterday as I was in the shower I was thinking to myself 'wow, I'm really impressed that I can still lift my foot up onto the wall of the shower in an attempt to bend less while shaving the lower section on my legs.' About a minute later I fumbled with my razor as I was shaving the upper portion on my leg and the razor fell to the floor. I didn't really think anything of it, other than 'at least it didn't cut me.' Are you seeing where this is going?

Anyway- I finished my shower, got dressed, put some lotion on my legs and headed to my perch on the couch for the afternoon. I had a contraction or two through the afternoon, but like usual, they didn't last long and weren't really in any sort of pattern. They picked up again in the evening and I felt some different feelings of pressure. When I went to the bathroom a bit later I noticed a very small amount of blood. YES! I thought 'wow, great! SOMETHING is happening' I'm sure you've gathered by my back story that something has got to give..... you're right. After checking into things a little more I realized the source of the blood was NOT the location I was hoping for. It turns out that rouge razor DID cause a cut... yeah, on my lady bits. 

My thrill and excitement quickly changed to disappointment and humor. 

Was that personal enough for you? 

Hospital or Home?

Every few days it seems like another question comes up that needs to be answered, and this time, I'm asking you! What worked best for you, or what are you planning to do when the time comes?

We were asked this week if we would prefer people come to the hospital to meet the boys, or to our home once we have all been released from the hospital. I feel like both have their perks, but at the moment I am leaning toward having people visit while we are still in the hospital. What worked best for you?

To me,  if people come to visit in the hospital, they are likely not going to stay long. The recovery rooms are seriously TINY and there isn't really anywhere to sit other than the hospital bed or the one chair that folds out into a cot for Hubs. If they come to our home, there are plenty of places to get comfy and out-stay their welcome. But, my hesitation is, am I just going to be way too overwhelmed while we are still in the hospital to have visitors in and out of our room?

Athlete... Ha.

Tonight after getting home from a walk I proclaimed to my husband that I am an athlete. He totally laughed in my face. Why, you ask? Um, perhaps it was because it took us 30 minutes, a bottle of water and 5 hip stretching breaks to walk just over a mile. Either way it needed to be done. I need to get this body of mine ready for the possibility of a marathon twin vaginal birthing experience. We will be keeping it to a mile a couple nights a week for now, but once we get to 34 weeks we will be stepping it up to every other night and if I make it to 36 weeks we will be attempting to do it every night or pretty close. 

Everyone keeps telling me the massive weight gain is just around the corner, but I have a feeling that being able to get a little exercise coupled with the absolute lack of space to eat much might just keep this third trimester weight gain at bay. Honestly, I could not care less how much I gain in the final 7.5 weeks- whatever it takes to have a couple of healthy baby boys!

A little of this and a little of that...

I've reached a point in this pregnancy that just seems surreal. Like it all happened so quickly, and now we are finally in the home stretch. As things get marked off the list (like making curtains for the nursery and a blanket for each of the the boys!!) it becomes a little more real that these boys are coming... and SOON-ish. At the moment there is a bouncy seat in my living room, a pack'n'play in our bedroom and a fully set up nursery. We have our hospital orientation/tour scheduled in a couple weekends and we are still on the fence about a weekend birthing class at the beginning of July.

This is all becoming very real. Pretty soon, we will have two baby boys, and those boys will completely and totally rely on us... for everything. It is no doubt a daunting task, but it is also a pretty exhilarating feeling. Soon, these babies will be here and we will be parents of babies that reside on the outside of my body! It doesn't help that the two people I've talked to recently that have twins, had them at 33 and 35 weeks. To be clear, that is 4.5-6.5 weeks from now- as in having my babies NEXT month. Holy cow.

I am praying my little heart out that these little boys will stay put until sometime in August, but I'm slowly preparing myself for the idea of them not. I'm anxious to see our new doctor next week and hear his thoughts on the when and how of our boys' birthday. I'm a planner and I love to have an idea of how things might go. I don't need it to be set in stone, but it would help me start preparing a little better, because at the moment it still feels like a very surreal day that will happen waaay in the future.

The list is dwindling and I'm nearly sure it will be complete or almost complete by the I'm 30 weeks... yahoo! This weekend my mom and I are going to cook a few things to put in the freezer, and next week I have a couple of friends coming to spend the day and cook up a couple more freezer items. I am trying to be as prepared as possible for the days and weeks following the birth of our little guys.

On a completely unrelated note... the twin episode of Pregnant in Heels? Holy crap. It was really reassuring when that a mother who admittedly had no idea what she was doing just weeks/days before her babies came said it all came very naturally once they were there- hopefully the same will be true for us! The main thing that was overwhelming to me was the stack of bottles the woman said you would need for ONE DAY! We do plan to breastfeed at least part of the time if not exclusively, but that stack of bottles really stressed me out. We have some bottles, but I'd estimate only about 14 of differing brands and styles. Is this going to be enough to get started? Sure we can always wash bottles... it isn't like it is the end of the world. Those of you who have done this ahead of me, what would you do? Also, was it a good idea to get multiple types of bottles to see what works best for us, or should we just offer one type and then have them get used it it?

Another question for twin mamas... I think the last thing on our 'to-buy' list is a twin nursing pillow. Is this something you used or would have liked to have had? In our multiples class it seemed useful for even bottle feeding two at once, but obviously I don't have any real like experience. Thoughts?

Lists...

I said awhile ago that my intention was to have most of the big things taken care of by the time I reached 28 weeks.

For anyone who is keeping track, that is about a week and a half away. Um, how did that happen?

So, I thought I'd compile of list of things that still need to be done and you can all laugh, point and ask me how I intend to get all of it done in a little more than a week when I have out of town guests coming twice in the middle of this time frame, and have about the same amount of energy as an infant.

• Sew a blanket for each baby.
• Sew one more crib skirt.
• Sew and hang two curtain panels with black-out liner.
• Sew a couple more changing pad covers.
• Remove unnecessary items from the nursery (two walkers, play saucer, pack & play) and find a place for them.
• Clean two bouncy seats and a swing that were passed down to us- find a place for them.
• Finish all baby laundry up-to 3 months. 
• Get nursery closet organized.
• Finalize list of things that need to be purchased before their arrival. 
• Finish wall hangings for over crib and changing table. 
• Get guest bedroom/office organized for visitors pre-babies and helpers post-babies.
• Re-arrange master bedroom to accommodate pack & play, rocker and other baby items.

That might be all, but I feel like I'm missing a thing or two. I have about 12 days and my list has 12 items on it... maybe, just maybe it is do-able??!?! 

Easter

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter! Ours consisted of church (more on that later!), a waddle through the grocery store, a lavish (ha!) taco bell lunch in the sun, a traditional Easter dinner and the evening ended with me icing my crotch. Seriously. Ouch.

We've lived in this city for over two years now and have had every intention of finding a church, but never have. This morning we tried out a church. We arrived a little early and sat in a row by ourselves. Soon, a older woman came in next to us and struck up a conversation with us. She asked if we had children (this is the root of the reason I've been so reluctant to find a church) and I replied by saying "I'm pregnant with our first and second." It gave me an immense amount of joy to smile as I looked down at my belly and rubbed my baby boys. She asked if twins run our family and she also said "there are so many twins these days- I know a lot of them are those artificial ones. You know, like the ones the movie stars have." ha! The entire time hubs was squeezing my leg. In the past this conversation would have irritated me. Today, not an ounce of what she said to me mattered- I had two sweet baby boys in my belly kicking away.... That, and I'm pretty sure she just called me a movie star :)

Next up was a trip to the grocery store to prepare for an Easter dinner that we hadn't really planned on cooking for the two of us. I'm pretty sure the pregnancy waddle has begun. Everything in my pelvis is sore and this belly is starting to throw off my center of gravity. After grabbing everything we needed for dinner, we decided there was no way we would able to be able to wait a couple of hours to eat while everything cooked, so we decided on taco bell for lunch... a new Easter tradition in the making? Probably not.

And finally, my evening ended laying on the couch with an ice pack on my lady bits. Yes, that is how sore that area is. It is excruciating pain when I change positions in bed at night, get up from a sitting or laying position or walk farther than about 20 feet. As sore and uncomfortable as I am, I'd do it for 40 more weeks if I knew that my babies were safe and growing in there... thankfully I only have a maximum of 20 more to go!

To to sum up the day... my babies are 'artificial', I'm a movie star, taco bell is an appropriate holiday meal and nothing ends an evening like icing your crotch.

One week!

Five weeks is a really long time for this infertile turned pregnant mama. Thankfully, the growing and firming belly serves as a nice reminder that my body is changing because there are a couple of tiny babes in there growing more and more everyday.

One week from today we will FINALLY get to see our babies again. Only seven more sleeps. The wait is killing me! Add to that the possibility of maybe finding out who these babies are, and I am SO ready.

PS. Just in case I forget by next week, last night I needed... like NEEDED sour patch kids and potato salad at about 8pm for second dinner. I'm thankful that I'm finally finding my appetite, but could I crave anything more unhealthy? I guess I'll just be thankful it wasn't something fried :)

This and That...

The insomnia may kill me.

I woke up at 2:30 on Thursday morning. Once I was up and had gone to the bathroom I realized that I was starving. Eating some peanut butter crackers and drinking a big glass of water solved that problem, but it didn't solve the sleeping issue. I was wide awake for 2 whole hours. Lame. The only positive about the wake up was putting my hand on my belly when I woke up and realizing that HOLY CRAP it seemed huge and really firm.

I can feel the firmness of my uterus all the way up to just below my belly button... at 12.5 weeks. I'm nearly positive I am going to be some kind of freak show by the end of the summer. And I can't wait :)

Growth is happening in other places beyond my belly too... I'm going to need to look into some new bras in the very near future.

Hubs is hilarious about not wanting me to do things. I love it- he is so protective of me and these two little babes of ours.

I'm trying to make sure I eat frequently, but if I don't, it is very obvious when it is time to get some more food in this body of mine.

I love life without progesterone suppositories!

I love all of the changes that are happening with my body, and I'm in awe constantly of everything that is happening.

Most importantly.... 19 days until we get to see our babies again!!

All is well...

Thanks for all of the encouraging words after my last post about the spotting. After a little more rational thought and analysis of the situation I am feeling pretty good about everything. Here's the deal- and possibly a little over sharing....

We all know about the less than glamorous side effects of pregnancy. Read: constipation. On Friday things were not moving, lets just say things did finally move but it was difficult. I'm guessing that may have been part of the spotting incident later in the evening. Today prunes have been added to my diet in an attempt to remedy this situation!

There hasn't been another single spot of blood since 8am Saturday morning, not even on the endometrin applicator. Everything is fine. After looking through the paper work that I got from my OB last week my mind was put even more at ease. I was scheduled to reduce my endometrin dose on Saturday to a single dose, but after the spotting and knowing it might be tricky to get in to see my doctor over the weekend if there was an issue, I decided not to. Now that it is Monday and I've been without issue for over 48 hours I decided to reduce my dose today. I'm feeling super confident that everything will be fine- and it is an added bonus to know that the nursing staff and my OB are just a phone call away if there is anymore spotting.

11 weeks tomorrow :)

10 weeks

How Far Along: 10 weeks

How Big is Baby? The size of a prune.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Down about 8 pounds. 

Maternity Clothes: Yes, please! I have a couple pairs of maternity jeans, but otherwise it is yoga pants for me. Tops still fit fine- I bought one maternity shirt on clearance the other day, but I don't need it yet. 

Gender: I cannot wait to find out!

Movement: Nothing yet, I can't wait to feel these little babes squirming!

Sleep: I'm still crazy tired. Lately I've been waking up around 3 or 4 in the morning and laying there for an hour or so-- which only adds to the exhaustion later in the day!

Belly button in or out? In.

What I miss: Life before heartburn.

Milestones: Making it to ten weeks without a single complication seems like a pretty big milestone!

Food Cravings:  Pizza! It was soooo good, and followed by many, many Tums! Totally worth it :)

Aversions: Eggs mostly.

Symptoms: Pretty much the same as last week... nausea if I let myself get too hungry, fatigue, constipation, sore nipples and a healthy dose of heartburn after eating pretty much anything.

Best Moment this week: Seeing the babies again on Friday and graduations from our RE's office!

Funny Moment (new this week): Last night we were watching TV and a commercial came on for World Wildlife Fund (WWF). It first showed this beautiful tiger that I was gushing over and then it showed a trap and machinery leveling the land where these animals live. Cue the tears. Then, only to make matters worse, it shows her babies.... which just so happen to be super cute twin cubs. I say something to the effect of 'That mama has twins too' and by this point my face is wet and both my husband and I are laughing hysterically at my inability to contain my emotions. 

What I'm looking forward to: My first OB appointment tomorrow and finding out when we'll get to see our babies again!

Dreams...

I have another one for ya...

Just a little back story... we were watching a show about shrimp fishermen in the south before I went to bed. 

The dream started out fairly realistic with Hubs and I sitting in the waiting room at our RE's office. We were waiting for the appointment we have this afternoon, our 9w3d ultrasound. When we arrived in the room for the ultrasound, my husband informed our doctor that we wouldn't be needing her today because get this, 'I have an app. for that.' That may be one of my least favorite phrases EVER. Anyway, my husband waved his iphone over my abdomen and we had a little peek at our babes. I then asked about printing some pictures and listening to that whoosh of their hearts beating... apparently, there is NOT an app. for that. Cue alligator tears. 

I then got up and searched out our doctor. She was just getting ready to call another patient back, but agreed to give me a quick ultrasound. Unfortunately, there was only one open room. It had three chairs inside and just a portable ultrasound machine. She told me to go ahead and lay on the ground and she then inserted the wand. This is where it takes a turn for the worse. She turned into one of those men we'd watched on the shrimp fishing  show. Now the person working the wand in my whoo-ha was missing teeth, wearing a ripped shirt, had likely not washed his hands in weeks years and was calling my lady bits a bur-gina. WOW. 

No wonder I slept like garbage that night... who could possibly have restful sleep during that!

Things Change...

I feel like I don't have much to say these days. I always wondered why IF turned pregnancy bloggers abandoned their blogs once they finally reached the end goal. I guess I understand now. There just isn't much to talk about. No monitoring, symptom obsessing (that is only a partial truth) or needle jabbing.

Right now there is less stressing about the babies growing and more stressing about exactly what life is going to be like once they are born. I'm not worried about the actual delivery of the babies, but I've been thinking A LOT about where said delivery will take place. We live in a small town outside of a much larger metro area. Our local hospital is an acute care facility and while they have a great birthing center, they do not have a NICU. This is one of the main things I'm going to talk with my OB about in a couple of weeks when I finally see her. I really don't like the idea of having the babies locally and then needing to transfer them to a larger hospital before I'm released. Even if I can't be with them, I would like for us all to be in the same physical location. I should probably just relax about the whole thing for now- it is still a LOOONG way down the road!

Tomorrow..

... I can't wait! I'm a lot more confident than I was last week. I'm still anxious, but I'm more excited than scared this time around. I've been praying constantly that both of those sweet little hearts are still beating- I can't wait to see them, to hear them and to bring home sweet little pictures of them!

Not much else is new other than my new realization that the longer I sleep in the morning the better I feel all day. Yesterday Hub's alarm didn't go off and we over slept by two hours... it was amazing!

Frozen grapes are fantastic- whoever suggested them (M, I think!) thank you!

Prepared...

In the last couple of weeks it's been increasingly difficult to get the motivation to actually make food when its time to eat. So, my solution to this problem has been making things ahead so they are ready to go ( at least mostly) at meal time.

Soup has been tolerable, so last week I made a big pot of Pan.era creamy chicken and rice soup and this week I made broccoli cheese. In addition I made a quiche for Hub's breakfasts for the week. Though he assures me it smells fantastic, the scent makes me want to lose my last meal. I'm pretty sure the morning reheating/eating is going to need to take place at the office from now on!

Otherwise, I'm feeling ok. A little sick to my stomach and REALLY tired, but oh so happy :)

This morning I set up my first OB appointment at the request of my RE. I wont be seen by my OB until February 1st, at 10w1d. This will be just a few days after what we assume will be my final appointment/graduation from our RE's office at 9w3d.

4 more days until our second peek inside!!! I can't wait!

Grocery shopping is getting more interesting...

It's not super typical for me to be hungry (thankyouverymuch metformin), but as this pregnancy progresses it is happening more and more often which likely has something to do with my body working on growing two little babes. It seems when hunger strikes these days it comes with a very specific need. Saturday morning at 6:30am this item happened to be carrots. I NEEDED them. This tiny little craving landed hubs and I at the grocery store at 8am with a basket full of totally random items.

Saturday morning's breakfast went a little something like this.....
Carrots
Cottage cheese with pineapple and a TON of pepper
Kiwi
Tater tots
Lots of icy cold water

Honestly, it totally grosses me out to even look at that list. However, in the moment it was SO good. I guess I can't complain too much, it's better nourishment than a steamy pile of pancakes drenched in butter and syrup. Which, now that I think about it, sounds fantastic :)

Really though, I'm having a horrible time coming up with things that sound good. Tell me what is sounding good to you today, what your go-to's were in the first trimester or what your all time favorite meal and snack are. Thanks a million. Now,  try not to write anything gross or I may gag while I read through them :)

One.More.Day.

24 hours... which might as well be 24 days. I can't wait to find out exactly what is going on inside there! I'm feeling slightly more confident than I was earlier in the week, but I just want it to hurry up and happen. I'm pretty sure I've never been so excited for a vaginal ultrasound in all of my life!!!

P.S I was dreaming of pickles all.night.long. Perhaps I'll have one with my lunch and see if I find them as amazing as I did in my dreams last night!

Fuel for the fire....

Sometimes I have really good ideas....

Eating buffalo wing flavored pretzels about 1.5 hours before you'd like to lay down and go to sleep at 5.5 weeks pregnant does not happen to be one of them.

Heartburn has been kind of a typical visitor at bedtime for the last several nights, thankfully I finally wised up and bought some Tums for my nightstand. I'm crossing my fingers!


Also, random question... What app do you use to blog from your iPhone- the one I use tends to make me grumpy!

And the crazy dreams continue....

For the last several days I've been complaining that my mouth tastes like I've been sucking on dirty pennies. It is so incredibly gross. I feel like I'm constantly brushing my teeth.

Last night I had a dream in which I needed to take some pills and therefore needed to eat something. My husband suggested something with some fiber- dollar bills. He fed me three, similar to how you'd feed them into a vending machine. Gross. Upon waking up my mouth tasted like I'd been sucking on a bag of old dirty coins all night... Ick!

Other over the top dreams I've had recently have included my brother dressed as Santa trying to 'put me to sleep for a little while' with a syringe in his hand, being caught audibly growling in my sleep and  there was also one about riding a turtle as a form of transportation. Just keeping things interesting I guess.

In other news, we had to remove our Christmas tree from the house today. I don't know if it was just now starting to smell like a fir tree or if my supernatural sense of smell is just arriving, but I couldn't take the smell. It is usually one that I love, not today- it had to come down!

One week from tomorrow!!