Thirty

Today, I leave my twenties... forever. It isn't a sad day, I can assure you, if I were still in the throws of infertility it would be an incredibly rough day. But, here I am, waking up to two perfect boys- happily skipping my way out of my twenties. Those years held some of the best of times, but also many of the worst.....

20: I was in college. I was living with my best friend from high school- she turned out to be not exactly what I was looking for in a roommate. I continued to date my high school sweetheart and our relationship grew and grew.

21: My parents threw me a 21st birthday BBQ. Still in college- new roommate. We had an insane amount of fun together. Hubs and I spent spring break visiting his sister out of state.

22: Became engaged, planned a wedding and graduated from college! One of the best years EVER!

23: Got married and honeymooned in Mexico. Upon our return we move away from our hometown. We ended up in a more metro area than where we grew up and we enjoyed being newlyweds with very few responsibilities.

24: Hubs worked hard and I worked as a sub here and there until I got a long term position at the world's worst private school. Looking back it was probably a good experience, but those were some rough months.

25: Started trying to get pregnant. It was fun right up until every female of childbearing age in my family got pregnant. Then it just got difficult. I was beginning to realize something might be wrong just in time to celebrate all of the baby showers. Cue a round of clomid to finish out 25. On a happy note, my first nephew was born just 4 days before my birthday.

26: It started with a hopeful heart- surely I'd be pregnant with clomid before the rest of babies were born... wrong! We did 5 more rounds of clomid and then decided it was time for a break. It was a dark and depressing year.

27: I finally decided one month exactly after my birthday (on our anniversary) that it was time to bring out the big guns and see a fertility specialist. That year we found out I have a thyroid problem and PCOS. In addition we did six unsuccessful IUIs, took a very short break and then geared up for IVF#1. This year was filled with hope, disappointment and longing.

28: We did our first round of IVF shortly after my birthday. I took my very first positive pregnancy test and was able to tell my husband for the first time that he was going to be a daddy. Unfortunately, just a couple of weeks later we also had another first- a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage. This broke me- but built me up all at the same time. I was SO ready to try again. And try again we did- just a few months later. With a second fresh IVF cycle I became pregnant with my boys. I spent 6 months of this year pregnant with twins and loved every last second of it!

29: I spent the first six weeks of the year largely pregnant with twins putting the finishing touches on their nursery and preparing for our life to significantly change. Then, on August 15th, the best thing to come out of my twenties happened- we became a family of four. I spent the remainder of the year raising my boys and with struggle and sleepless night came coos, crawlers and kisses so sweet they take away much of the pain and despair it took to get here.

So while it wasn't the easiest decade of my life, it was probably the sweetest. We grew and we fell more in love with each other in the hard times, but also in the good. We watched as we became mama and dada- my life changed in my twenties and that I will always remember- maybe someday the other memories will fade, but I hope I always remember how sweet 28 1/2 - 30 were!

My Twin Pregnancy...

When I was pregnant I was constantly looking on blogs of twin mamas trying to find an answer to one random question or another. Most of the time it was just curiosity about other twin pregnancies, so just in case anyone is searching my blog for information about my twin pregnancy-- here it is! Commonly wondered questions....

How did you get pregnant with twins?

• It was our second round of IVF with ICSI. We transferred two day five blasts. Each baby was his own egg and sperm, making our boys fraternal twins.

How long did you carry your twins?

• I carried those little buggers all the way to 38 weeks 2 days. Yes, I agree, I deserve some sort of medal for that :)

Did you have any bed rest, if so, when?

• I was asked to be on modified bed rest for about 4 hours one day after a mild spotting indecent around 25 weeks-ish. It turned out to be nothing and I never had another issue.

Did you have your babies via c-section or vaginal childbirth? When was that decision made- was it your choice?

• I gave birth to our boys via c-section. The decision was made at 34 weeks. We had been talking about it at my appointments for weeks because of how the boys were positioned (baby A head down and baby B transverse breech). For several weeks my doctor was more than willing to try for a vaginal birth, but cautioned me that it may end up in a 'full birthing experience' with both a c-section and a vaginal delivery. At my 34 week appointment the doctor I saw did a quick ultrasound that revealed baby B's hands and feet were pointing up toward my head- meaning in the event I needed a breech extraction, there wouldn't be much grab onto. I decided to schedule a c-section and my OB was pleased with this choice. 

If you had a c-section, would you choose to do it again if it was your choice? Will you attempt an VBAC if you have another child?

• I would absolutely choose to do the exact same thing if I had to do it over. Getting pregnant was very dramatic, then I had a very normal healthy pregnancy and I didn't want to end a beautiful time in my life with a traumatic/dramatic birth. Our birth, while surgical, was amazing and perfect for us. I seriously doubt I will attempt VBAC. The c-section with the boys was flawless and I really had no complaints in healing. 

Healing from a c-section, how'd it go? Any tips?

• Honestly? It was not difficult at all. I consistently took the pain meds for about a week or 10 days and then was weaned off of them completely at the 2 week mark. I was released to drive at two weeks and had already taken walks in our neighborhood previous to that point. I was sore, but never ever in excruciating pain. As for tips... MOVE! As soon as you possibly can have the cath removed and start making your way to the bathroom on your own. Take a shower and get up and walk the halls with you babies- I am sure this is part of the reason my recovery was so easy.

What was the hardest part of your twin pregnancy?

• Waiting for them and worrying about them. I worry about them from day one, but never enough to take away from that amazing 9 months of my life. Just a mama's worry- I'm sure it will be something I do for the rest of my life. They are my babies... my very, very, very wanted babies.

Best twin advice you got before having your boys?

• Get out of the house! It is SO easy to get out when they are tiny. They'll sleep the whole time and rarely fuss if you are quick to leave after a feeding and make sure to get home before the next. 
• Get them on the same schedule from the get go. We literally started the boys on the three hour schedule the day they were born, and to this day we pretty much stick to it throughout the day (thank goodness, not at night!). 
• Nursing twins is HARD try, try, try to be flexible! It isn't the end of the world if you can't tandem feed- lactation consultants, doctors and nursed will tell you it is, but know that you CAN nurse your babies separately if you want/need to. Not nursing the most efficient way does not mean you will stop in the first few weeks, if you are committed to working with your babies and being patient with yourself you can do it! I've nursed my boys at least partially since birth and they are 5.5 months old. I'm ready to be done, but I'll keep nursing throughout the day for a couple more weeks and then we'll try just nursing morning and night and see what happens. If I can't I'm ok with it, if I can, great! My biggest advice to you is don't keep nursing because you 'should'... that is ridiculous and will just build resentment of your babies. Nursing is not what is best for everyone and that is OK!

Weight gain during pregnancy and weight loss after birth?

• I gained 40lbs exactly while I was pregnant with the boys, the majority was gained toward the end of my pregnancy. I then lost all of it in the first 4ish weeks not making any attempt to do so. My doctor suggested starting birth control sometime between 2 and 6 weeks postpartum and THEN I started gaining it back. This was also a time when the boys started going slightly longer stretches at night between feeding which could have also added to the weight gain/ change in metabolism. My sister-in-law totally warned me this would happen when I started nursing less. So here is my warning to you-- be prepared and change your diet accordingly!

Birth control after an IVF twin pregnancy? Really?

• Here is what my OB said.... What if?? He said however unlikely you think it is, remember that it certainly IS possible if you are having sex to get pregnant. While neither of us thinks the probability is super high, it is there and bottom line- I'm not ready, my body isn't ready, my husband isn't ready and my sweet baby boys aren't ready for another son/daughter/sibling just yet. 
• I chose the mini pill because I was breastfeeding, but will change to a more effective pill once the boys are weaned in the coming weeks/months.
• I gained weight and my supply changed when I started the mini pill, be prepared. 

Favorite baby gear?

• Double Snap'n'go stroller
• Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch sling. Its not being made anymore so you'll have to find one at a consignment shop/sale-- seriously the BEST though. Great for both babies early on while they are tiny and perfect still for one baby at 5.5months.
• Boppy pillow... or six. We have two and I'd always like at least one more! The twin nursing pillow is kind of a pain- to me, not worth the $$.
• Swaddling blankets with velcro closures.
• More burp cloths than you think you could ever possibly need.
• Bottle drying rack... please just buy one- I promise you'll need it. 
• Baby saline nose drops-- they melt the goobers away and make breathing so much easier for those tiny noses that are full of goop from gestation/birth. I also love grape scented boogie wipes.
• Bedside co-sleeper, less useful in the long run, but better than a pack and play in the beginning. We borrowed one and LOVED it until the boys finally grew out of it. 
• Paper plates, frozen meals, and someone to bring you fresh ready to eat fruits and vegetables!

The first few weeks... any tips?

• Be prepared with a clipboard/spreadsheet to jot down things like who has had wet/poopy diapers which side they fed on, how much formula they drank.
• Be flexible. Every day will likely be a bit different- try to not book lots of visitors too far in advance. Some days you'll want to just be with your babies and not have others around fussing over you or your perfect little bundles!
• Have baskets in various places with supplies in them. We had a diapering basket in our bedroom, the nursery and the living room. 

I'm sure there are several more things that mamas pregnant with twins would like to know-- feel free to either leave a comment or shoot me an email, I'm more than happy to share what I've learned in the last year!

And then we were FOUR part 2...

Part ONE can be found HERE....

Again, I'm totally not editing this--

The trip to the postpartum portion of the hospital was comical at best. The transfer staff at this hospital left a little to be desired. The person moving me had the paper portion of our chart with us, but somehow neglected to find out before moving me WHERE exactly we were going.... super. So, while she attempted to find out what room I would be moving into for the remainder of my stay she just went ahead and left me in my huge hospital bed right in the middle of the elevator bay. Thankfully I was so blissfully happy to have two perfect boys laying on my chest I hardly noticed how weird this was. 

After making it to my room the same transfer person asked me to go head and move my body from the bed I was in, onto the bed that was in my new room. Uh, did I mention I had abdominal surgery about 2 hours prior and was numb from about the boobs down? Needless to say, NOT the easiest task! It felt like it took me hours to move from one bed to the other inch by inch, but I made it. After we got settled in our new room we allowed our families to come in and meet the boys for the first time. It was fun to watch them as they saw the boys for the first time. 

The remainder of our hospital stay was relatively uneventful. We had fantastic nurses day and night, I seemed to recover in record speed getting up and walking around about 12 hours after surgery and showering the next morning after getting rid of the catheter sometime in the night. The boys roomed in with us the majority of the time, but spent a couple of hours each night in the nursery so we could get some real healthy recovery sleep. I learned to breast feed, pump and generally take care of two babies. I found myself constantly looking at them and thinking about them.

We ended up staying in the hospital three nights and made our way home as a family of four on Saturday morning. The doctor from our OB's practice that was on rotation that morning was a real peach, but that is a post for another day- re: if you don't have anything nice to say about twin parenting... keep your mouth SHUT!

Posts I'd like the write in the coming weeks- if I ever find the time....

• If you don't have anything nice to say about twin parenting... keep your mouth SHUT, and other unsolicited advice.
• "Is it hard?"- postpartum encounters with an infertile.
• Weightloss: Good for Mama, not for babies.
• Breast Feeding Twins: Didn't I JUST have something attached to my boob?
• First Four Weeks Favorites- things we never could have lived without.

And then we were FOUR!

HOLY COW!

I can't believe it took me this long to get back to the computer and write about these sweet little boys who've stolen my heart, made me cry, changed my life and caused me many exhausted days. But, here I am almost four weeks after they were born- loving life as a mommy... the good, the hard and the mounds of diapers and laundry!

I don't want to forget their birthday, so in an effort to document it- here is the run down!

On the August 15th we woke up bright and early around 3:30am. We needed to be checking into the hospital at 5:30 and knowing that the drive would take about 35-40 minutes and we both wanted to take one last non-rushed shower we knew it would be a very early morning! We both woke up super excited to meet our boys and I was still not feeling an ounce of fear about the surgery that would be starting in just a few hours. We got ourselves ready, packed up the car, took a couple final pictures of our babies in my belly and hopped in the car to go meet our long awaited babied!

We arrived at the hospital right on time, checked in and were taken back to our room. I changed into my gown, met the nurses who would take care of me up until my surgery and then they hooked me up to the monitors to check on the boys. Both little hearts were beating and it was time to wait for my surgery time. The anesthesiologist came in, talked to us about the spinal and what to expect and shortly after my OB came in to go over what would be happening in the OR. I was still not even a little nervous, just super excited to see my boys and hear their little cries as they came out of me. Of course, just as the OB was finishing explaining the surgery, his pager went off and he quickly called the nursing station from my room to find out another of his patients was just about to have her baby just a few doors down. He assured me that it'd be quick as 'this is her third baby, this shouldn't take long'- all with a motion as if to say the baby would just kind of slide out of her. Hubs and I had a good laugh as our doctor (who we love) walked out of the room.

We ended up waiting about an hour for him to be ready for my c-section. I walked myself down to the OR, sat up on the table, was prepped for the spinal and then started to lose it. I still wasn't totally scared, it was more that I was realizing the babies were really almost here. I wanted more than anything for my babies to come out screaming so I knew they were ok, and I think that is what I began worrying about in that moment. As I sat there receiving my spinal (which, while a super weird feeling doesn't 'hurt' more than a pinch) my chin quivered, my nose dripped and a few tears were shed. Both my nurse and doctor stood in front of me each holding a hand and a shoulder. My OB talked to me the entire time reminding me why we were there, there the two most important people in that room were my sweet baby boys and that he was going to get them out safely. He probably promised me 10 times in those few minutes that not only would they be perfect, but that I was already a great mommy and my boys would already know that when they took their first breath. I guess after twenty-five years delivering babies he knows what mamas need to hear to make them both cry and feel confident all at the same time.

Shortly after the spinal was in, I was laying down on the table, drapes were being hung and my belly was being tested for feeling. As soon as it was decided I was plenty numb (SO WEIRD!) my husband was brought into the OR. He sat right next to my head and help my hand. We spent a long time just looking at each other knowing these were the final moments of being just two. It was only minutes after he arrived in the room that our first baby was born. He came out just as I'd prayed for months... screaming! My OB brought him around the side of the table so I could see him before taking him to be cleaned up. All I remember thinking was 'He is HUGE' and 'I'm a mama!' Just one minute later little brother was born. He was rather angry to have been pulled from his cozy home at the top of my uterus and screamed in protest. Along with his screaming he came out pee'ing.... not once, but three times before reaching the head of the bed for me to get my first peek at him. The OR staff just kept laughing as they'd say over and over- 'He's pee'ing again!' My first thoughts of baby B were- 'He's tiny and red!' We'd been told for months that the boys were measuring very close in size, so when I saw my HUGE Baby A (7lbs 11oz) I was waiting for another big baby. When Baby B came out at just 6lbs 5oz (big for a twin) we were all surprised.

After both boys were born and the first checks and cleaning was complete in the OR, they and my husband were taken back to our private recovery room to get cleaned up, receive their first shots and under go their first evaluations. I was left in the OR to be stitched up. My totally weird anesthesiologist proceeded to show me random picture on his phone to keep my mind off the fact that my babies and husband had left the room. He showed me his daughter trying on wedding dresses, flowers in his garden and a photo he snapped on his phone as Baby B was being born. At that point Hubs and stopped taking pictures and was just enjoying to moment with me, so it was fun to see the little man being born- especially as I was laying there in a room away from my babies for the first time EVER.

Once I was all stitched up ( my OB and the assisting OB were talking about home improvements as they put me back together) I was transferred back to my bed (super weird feeling) and wheeled back to my recovery room where my three favorite people were waiting for me.

Hubs and I watched as they both had their first bath and received their first shots. As soon as both of those things were done I was able to hold them both skin to skin and try nursing. Both of the boys were pretty sleeping but H did try his best to nurse a little. A (baby B) wasn't hold his temp as well as the nurse would have liked, so he and daddy had to make a trip upstairs for about an hour to a warming bed were he was fitted with little foot heating pads and then his feet were wrapped in diapers.... he looked like he was sporting tiny baby Uggs- made of diapers!

Once A and Daddy returned to our recovery room we were able to all make the trip upstairs to postpartum.

... In an effort to publish this before their first birthday I'll publish in chunks- and without editing, otherwise it could be Christmas before I get this done!

Ironic...

There are a lot of reasons why I love blogging, one of the biggest is being able to go back to a certain date and seeing where I was in that moment. I've often looked back at the same day in the previous year to see how things had changed or not changed.

On THIS very day one year ago, I wrote about what I guess was the official end of my first pregnancy. It was the day my beta finally reached zero. Though I'm sure I was feeling sad for all that we'd lost, I was also ready to pick myself up and begin moving on. I was ready to start preparing both my heart and my body to try again- to attempt once more to find myself pregnant with the hope of carrying that baby (or babies!) until they were big enough and strong enough to come home with us.

I find it somewhat ironic that I wrote on that day about becoming 'un-pregnant', because today the same thing will happen, only this time my appointment is for a c-section not a beta. It is amazing in one year's time we've really come full circle. Dreams have been realized, and on a day that was bittersweet last year, I will this year have two sweet boys placed in my arms!

On this day...
4 years ago, we were in the midst of our first cycle of trying for a baby.
3 years ago, we were a couple of cycles into clomid.
2 years ago, we were in the process of beginning treatment with our RE.
1 year ago, we had just miscarried our first pregnancy.

And today... Today, we become parents and our family not only grows, it DOUBLES!!!!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

THE BOYS WILL 

BE HERE 

TOMORROW!!!!!

37w3d appointment

Well, they are STILL in there. I keep trying to coax them out with promises of ponies and pudding, but it doesn't seem to be working out for me. I'm beyond grateful they like it in there and that my body seems to be tolerating carrying two  babies to full term just fine. As ready as I am for them to be out, knowing that the end is near (less than a week now!) makes it a little easier to function each day. Even if 'function' means laying on the couch most of the day!

Everything is still completely normal with this pregnancy. It is almost like I'm not carrying twins. I never had to be seen by a MFM, I never found myself on bed rest, no pre-term labor, very minimal swelling especially for a summer pregnancy, normal blood pressure, no protein in my urine, no gestational diabetes.... what.the.heck? Believe me, I NEVER expected this to go anywhere close to this seamlessly. 

We had a VERY early appointment this morning. First an ultrasound and then a follow up with the OB. The ultrasound was fairly uneventful because these babies are wedged in there and it is dang near impossible to see ANYTHING at this point. Everything still looks good, plenty of fluid and they are still growing at a similar pace- just a 4% variance between the two. These little stinkers add up to just over 14 lbs combined and have my belly measuring 50cm- that is about what a women 50 weeks pregnant with a singleton would measure. Holy cow.  

That was our final OB appointment. The next time we see our doctor it will be to deliver these boys! I cannot wait!

SIX MORE DAYS!!!

Over sharing...

I've said before, there are a lot of reasons why I keep my blog anonymous. One of largest reasons, is so I am able to write whatever I want and not feel uncomfortable completely and totally over sharing. 

Today is one of those days.

I have a funny story. Well, perhaps not funny, it certainly was more disappointing than funny in the moment, but now I'm just laughing about it. 

So, even though I'm home everyday and not really venturing out too often, I've been trying to at least get myself kind of ready everyday- just in case these boys decide to come. For me, this means taking a shower, shaving my legs and putting on clothing that is approximately 1/2 a step higher than pajamas. 

Yesterday as I was in the shower I was thinking to myself 'wow, I'm really impressed that I can still lift my foot up onto the wall of the shower in an attempt to bend less while shaving the lower section on my legs.' About a minute later I fumbled with my razor as I was shaving the upper portion on my leg and the razor fell to the floor. I didn't really think anything of it, other than 'at least it didn't cut me.' Are you seeing where this is going?

Anyway- I finished my shower, got dressed, put some lotion on my legs and headed to my perch on the couch for the afternoon. I had a contraction or two through the afternoon, but like usual, they didn't last long and weren't really in any sort of pattern. They picked up again in the evening and I felt some different feelings of pressure. When I went to the bathroom a bit later I noticed a very small amount of blood. YES! I thought 'wow, great! SOMETHING is happening' I'm sure you've gathered by my back story that something has got to give..... you're right. After checking into things a little more I realized the source of the blood was NOT the location I was hoping for. It turns out that rouge razor DID cause a cut... yeah, on my lady bits. 

My thrill and excitement quickly changed to disappointment and humor. 

Was that personal enough for you? 

35w 4d appointment...

Another week, another appointment.

I don't have much to report- weight gain is OK- no protein in my urine- and my blood pressure is back within totally normal range. My hands and feet and starting to see a little swelling and I'm not sure I'll make it to delivery still wearing my wedding ring, but I'm going to try my best!

I'm having a few braxton hicks here and there, but not many. I always question if they are really braxton hicks or if I am just trying to down play an actual contraction- either way, they never stick around long enough to be timed, and they are never painful enough to feel concerned.

We're down to 19 sleeps or less! I cannot even begin to tell you how sore and ready I am. Of course letting these boys grow and cook as long as possible is important to me, but when you are carrying twins EVERYTHING starts to hurt at this point! I am thrilled I've been able to carry them as long as I have. My goal from the start was 36 weeks- only two more days to go! 37 would be ideal since that is considered full term, and making it all the way to my c-section at 38w2d would be icing on the cake.

The doctor took a quick peek at the boys today with a bedside ultrasound and after moving a ton and a large dose of ultrasound gel she was able to find two heartbeats among the pile of moving baby parts. She also said she could see them in there practicing their breathing which is great news.

We're getting all of the final things in place over the weekend just in case they decide to come sooner rather than later. My mom drove a couple hours to come help me clean 1/2 of my house this week and will be back early next week to help me finish the other half- such a HUGE blessing. I know it would have taken me about 4 days to accomplish what we did in the first day! It will be so nice to come home to a fully cleaned house after being in the hospital!

I'm still surprised that I've made it this far and continue to remain healthy. As I left today, the doctor said 'get outta here! Keep doing what you're doing and have another boring week until we see you again!'

I'll do my best :)

Hospital or Home?

Every few days it seems like another question comes up that needs to be answered, and this time, I'm asking you! What worked best for you, or what are you planning to do when the time comes?

We were asked this week if we would prefer people come to the hospital to meet the boys, or to our home once we have all been released from the hospital. I feel like both have their perks, but at the moment I am leaning toward having people visit while we are still in the hospital. What worked best for you?

To me,  if people come to visit in the hospital, they are likely not going to stay long. The recovery rooms are seriously TINY and there isn't really anywhere to sit other than the hospital bed or the one chair that folds out into a cot for Hubs. If they come to our home, there are plenty of places to get comfy and out-stay their welcome. But, my hesitation is, am I just going to be way too overwhelmed while we are still in the hospital to have visitors in and out of our room?

New Doctor

We had our first appointment with the clinic that will deliver our little guys on Thursday. We saw the doctor who will be our primary doctor, but there is always a chance he will not be the doctor who will deliver our babies of course.
It was really nice to finally be at the clinic where we will be until the end. Up until now, we've just kind of been monitored, its been silly to ask much about delivery or the end of this pregnancy because we've known that we would transfer doctors sometime around 28ish weeks and we were all just assuming/hoping that I'd make it past that point.
So,  it was time to start asking some questions.... Just in case you are interested in the answers, here goes-

• Thoughts on a birthing class? I've read mixed reviews about how useful it really is when it comes to delivering twins because things go significantly different.
• Long story short, its totally up to us. There are a few benefits, but what I've read is correct- twin deliveries are different and there is about a 40% chance that we will be delivering these boys via c-section. He felt like we were pretty understanding of what is ahead of us and said we probably would be just fine without the class. Hooray- that means one less booked up weekend in July :)
• Likelihood of a C-section? 
• Its fairly likely, like I said above, about a 40% chance. Especially if Baby B doesn't flip in the next few weeks. There is the choice to deliver Baby A vaginally and then we can see what Baby B does once he has a little more room. However, that could involve reaching in and turning baby B (uh, no thank you) or having a vaginal delivery AND a c-section which my doctor refers to as the a 'full birthing experience or the full meal deal' to be fair, in his 25 years he has only had to go that route twice. 
• If there are no other complications, is there a point I will be scheduled for delivery?
• The date isn't set in stone. It is totally dependent on how the boys are doing, what the placentas are doing (or not doing) and how my body is tolerating carrying two babies late in the pregnancy. He did said most women are DONE by about 38 weeks which I think is fair and likely totally true. If you're paying attention, that means I will be having my babies in 8 weeks or less! Holy crap. 

Overall, we were really happy with our doctor! We have another appointment June 26th with him and then we'll see his partner on July 12th in addition to an ultrasound. We've never had to go more than 5 weeks without seeing our boys, and this time it will have been six. I'm ok with it though, feeling them move constantly and knowing this pregnancy has gone so well so far makes me feel pretty confident that things are going well in there.

In other news, it appears my official due date (that means absolutely nothing) is one day earlier than we were originally told. All this changes is that my weekly updates are now switching to Mondays. So, I'll be back tomorrow with an update!

A little of this and a little of that...

I've reached a point in this pregnancy that just seems surreal. Like it all happened so quickly, and now we are finally in the home stretch. As things get marked off the list (like making curtains for the nursery and a blanket for each of the the boys!!) it becomes a little more real that these boys are coming... and SOON-ish. At the moment there is a bouncy seat in my living room, a pack'n'play in our bedroom and a fully set up nursery. We have our hospital orientation/tour scheduled in a couple weekends and we are still on the fence about a weekend birthing class at the beginning of July.

This is all becoming very real. Pretty soon, we will have two baby boys, and those boys will completely and totally rely on us... for everything. It is no doubt a daunting task, but it is also a pretty exhilarating feeling. Soon, these babies will be here and we will be parents of babies that reside on the outside of my body! It doesn't help that the two people I've talked to recently that have twins, had them at 33 and 35 weeks. To be clear, that is 4.5-6.5 weeks from now- as in having my babies NEXT month. Holy cow.

I am praying my little heart out that these little boys will stay put until sometime in August, but I'm slowly preparing myself for the idea of them not. I'm anxious to see our new doctor next week and hear his thoughts on the when and how of our boys' birthday. I'm a planner and I love to have an idea of how things might go. I don't need it to be set in stone, but it would help me start preparing a little better, because at the moment it still feels like a very surreal day that will happen waaay in the future.

The list is dwindling and I'm nearly sure it will be complete or almost complete by the I'm 30 weeks... yahoo! This weekend my mom and I are going to cook a few things to put in the freezer, and next week I have a couple of friends coming to spend the day and cook up a couple more freezer items. I am trying to be as prepared as possible for the days and weeks following the birth of our little guys.

On a completely unrelated note... the twin episode of Pregnant in Heels? Holy crap. It was really reassuring when that a mother who admittedly had no idea what she was doing just weeks/days before her babies came said it all came very naturally once they were there- hopefully the same will be true for us! The main thing that was overwhelming to me was the stack of bottles the woman said you would need for ONE DAY! We do plan to breastfeed at least part of the time if not exclusively, but that stack of bottles really stressed me out. We have some bottles, but I'd estimate only about 14 of differing brands and styles. Is this going to be enough to get started? Sure we can always wash bottles... it isn't like it is the end of the world. Those of you who have done this ahead of me, what would you do? Also, was it a good idea to get multiple types of bottles to see what works best for us, or should we just offer one type and then have them get used it it?

Another question for twin mamas... I think the last thing on our 'to-buy' list is a twin nursing pillow. Is this something you used or would have liked to have had? In our multiples class it seemed useful for even bottle feeding two at once, but obviously I don't have any real like experience. Thoughts?

Au Natural...

Since becoming pregnant I've been asked a million times if I plan to have a natural delivery.

I always laugh. 

Every time.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

• I'm having twins- I may not have a lot of say in how it all ends up. 
• I have ZERO attachment to having a natural birth.
• I do not see myself as less of a women if I choose not to 'do it the way millions of women have done it' ahead of me... without drugs- in fact, I fully intend to have an epi.
• I want these babies to get here safely. If that means drugs and knives I'm ok with that.
• These babies got to my uterus via massive amounts of medication, hormones, a plastic catheter, ICSI, 5 days in a lab and many, many people other than my husband and I... nothing about this process has been 'natural' I'm guessing that isn't going to change now.  
• I may or may not have placenta previa on their birthday complements of Baby A... if things don't move I will not have the option of a vaginal delivery- like it or not. 
• I don't want to have any expectations of their birthday. They will be deciding how their day is going to go- there is no sense in me trying to write it down and prepare for it. Let's remember that I planned on them being here about 3 years prior to their arrival date- obviously they are in the driver seat.

So, there you have it, my thoughts on the birth of these sweet little babies. It is weird to think that we're getting close to the halfway point of a normal 40 week pregnancy and likely have passed the halfway point in this twin pregnancy!

I know I have A LOT of natural delivery Mamas as readers. Please know that my thought of birth is 'to each her own' we all have differing feelings about birth... these are mine :)

19 week ultrasound

... there is sure to be an enormous amount of dirt, wrestling, farting, burping and grass stains in this house of mine. That's right, I'm about to be totally outnumbered- TWO BABY BOYS!

And, because you all have been asking for it for WEEKS.... here they are in all of their glory. The belly feels huge to me, but I can only imagine what it will look/feel like in a few weeks. I'm sure I'll look back at this picture and laugh hysterically that I thought I was 'big'!!

Everything looked great on the ultrasound. Both babies are measuring a little ahead- this is always what I hope for considering twins have a tendency to come a little early. I think they were both measuring between 10-11oz each. They were crazy in there and moving a TON, so the tech had a little bit of a hard time getting images of the legs and feet, but from what she was able to measure, they looked perfect! I had a quick visit from old wandy at the end of my ultrasound appointment to check on my cervix. She didn't give me the measurement, but she did say that it looked great and was nice and long. The only slight concern at this point is Baby A's placenta is 1.7cm away from my cervix. The ideal is more than 2cm (I think cm was the measure?), so that could possibly pose an issue for a vaginal delivery, but as we all know (or did I forget publish that post?) I have ZERO expectations for the birth of these babies. 

I'll see the same doctor again in another 4 weeks for a quick appointment and another ultrasound (what will I do if I have a singleton after this twin pregnancy!?!?). After that, I'm not sure if we'll transfer to our delivering doctor (at a hospital with a nicu) for our 27/28 week appointment or if we'll see our local doctor one more time and then transfer. I was worried about this before, but this pregnancy (knock on wood) is progressing so easily and with nearly no complications so I feel completely confident sticking with our local doctor as long as things stay the same.