Chin up, chin up everyone likes a happy face
wear it, share it, it will brighten up the darkest days
twinkle, sparkle, let a little sunshine in
you'll be on the right side looking on the bright side
up with your chinny-chin-chin!
Easier said than done, but I am trying my best to look at the positive side of my current situation. I am praying that this cycle will just be a success, so I don't have to see a specialist. The thought makes me sick. I really dislike going to the doctor in the first place, and the thought of starting over makes me exhausted. I know that ultimately if I don't get pregnant this cycle, it will be a step in the right direction to move on, but it just seems like I'm about to walk into a dark cave of unknowns. I am terrible at being in situations where I'm not in control and don't have a plan laid out in front of me.
Maybe that is exactly the lesson I should be learning in all of this; lose control and accept the unknown, all the while being faithful, trusting and unquestioning of My God. I have often wondered how a God that loves me and protects me could let me hurt so much during this struggle, but then I remember that He has a plan for me, He has gone before me, He hears me crying out in prayer. One day I will understand the struggle, when my heart and mind are ready.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper youand not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11