Maybe not better, but different....

I have no idea who wrote this,

I just ran into a few days ago when I was searching for something IF related...

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers
and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money
or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned
over and over again.

Like most things in life,
the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep,
explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day
for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake
in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him
and that I am not waking to take another temperature,
pop another pill, take another shot
or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;
that God has given me this insight,
this special vision
with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to
or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend, and sister
because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment,
as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face,
yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better,
I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power
of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn to
accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion
that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother. Someday.