Baby #3... This is not an announcement!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I feel 100% crazy for thinking about baby #3 as much as I do. Like for serious.

I was talking with a group of women the other day, and was talking about the stack of totes sitting in our bedroom waiting to be put in the attic. There are six totes full of the first year of clothing that we are keeping. That, and a breast pump, a nursing pillow and a pile of clothing that needs to be sorted into the tubs or put in yet another.  I joked that they'd likely still be sitting there when we had another baby. It was a joke, but with how slowly those types of projects happen around here... It isn't totally out if the question.  Which, somehow thrills me.

I have a very odd sense of hope about getting pregnant again. Don't be fooled, I'm not thinking it's going to happen naturally, in fact, that probably will not be a possibility as I plan to stay on birth control until our FET. But I have a calm about it all, like its going to happen and I don't need to worry about the 'what if??' I cannot tell you how happy I am about this. I didnt realize until I was pregnant just how depressed I was when we were trying to get pregnant the first time. I have no desire to go there again, and certainly no desire for my boys to see me at that type of low.

I think we've settled on a year from now- that's when we'll start really pursuing an FET and all that it entails. I'm sure there will be tests that need to be updated and some other things that will need addressing. In the meantime, we will be enjoying everyday with our sweet boys and soaking in our time with the two of them. I'll be working toward getting as healthy as possible in preparation for another complication free pregnancy.