Change of Heart...

What a difference a month makes. A little over a month ago I wrote this post about consignment sales. I had just returned from my first, and to say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. I think it was partially because I had NO IDEA what I wanted/needed for the boys and I was still on the edge of being excited and terrified about having twins. Now I own the fact that the next year or two of my life is going to be one crazy, exhausting adventure.

Since that first sale I have gone to three more. One was super small and I only found $6 worth of clothing for the boys... nothing too exciting. This past weekend my husband and I went to a multiples consignment sale about an hour before it closed on the first night. Sure, it was totally picked over in the gear/furniture/carrier department, but it was not at all overwhelming and there were no crying children! We found a couple of books for the boys, a bouncy seat, two wooden toys and several clothing items. We ending up spending something like $50 which seems like a pretty good deal to me. 

Yesterday I hit the third sale. It was advertised as an 'upscale' consignment sale only accepting higher quality brands. I decided that today I'd go in with a list of things I'd like to find and zero expectation of actually finding any of them. My mission was a very specific discontinued sling in the proper size, a boyish boppy cover, a bumbo and any random clothing items I might find after first focusing on the other things. MUCH to my surprise I found the sling I wanted. We used it at our multiples class over the weekend and I fell in love with the secure feeling of it. After trying it out and being able to see my life easier with it, the instructor informed us that the company who made them is no longer in business and you can now only find them at resale shops. I've been searching for one online and was prepared to hit up some baby consignment shops this weekend, but thankfully I found one in the proper size and a good color at the sale instead! Yahoo. I could have found nothing else that that point and my day would have been made, but I managed to find a great boppy cover, a couple of outfits and two unopened crib sheets in the color I was looking for. 

All this to say, I take back everything I said about consignment sales. They can be really overwhelming, but they can also be the jackpot for things you're looking for. Thankfully this good experience came just days before the biggest sale in my state. I'm sure I'll be updating you on my love/hate relationship with consignment sales after Friday's adventure!!

22 Weeks

How Far Along: 22 weeks

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a papaya.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm up 13lbs since retrieval. Thank goodness the trend from last week didn't continue, I kept thinking about what I'd look like at delivery if I gained 5 lbs a week from here on out... it was scary!

Maternity Clothes: Mostly maternity- sweats, jackets and a few shirts are non-maternity. 

Movement: They are moving a TON and I love it! I often wonder how it differs from carrying just one baby, with these boys it is kind of like WWF in my belly!

Belly button in or out? Getting more shallow, kind of sore and a little itchy. 

What I miss: Not needing a nap everyday.

Milestones: Taking our first baby preparedness class. We took a two day class over the weekend about multiple newborn care and breastfeeding. I'm so glad I found this class in time, I feel like we learned a lot about what it will be like to come home with two babies. It wasn't a TON of new knowledge, but I do feel like we are much more comfortable with what is ahead of us now. 

Food Cravings:  Jumbo Red Vines.... preferably after they have been sitting open for a few days and are a little stale. Is that gross?

Aversions: Eggs. Still grossing me out.

Symptoms:  Exhaustion, leg cramps, lots of soreness and ligament pain. 
Best Moment this week: Hubs feeling BIG kicks from the outside. He has felt them several times in the last couple of weeks, but usually has to ask if he really felt something. There was no guessing with these movements- both of our eyes welled up a bit. Such a sweet and exciting moment. Another big moment was getting the invitation for MY baby shower in the mail! Holy cow, I'm SO excited!

Funny Moment: This is an old one... but it gets brought up at our house all.the.time. When I was about 15 weeks pregnant a friend of ours let us barrow their doppler. I think it was our first time using it that my husband heard the progression of a gas bubble from the inside. He claims he will NEVER be the same again. Now if we ever listen to the boys' heartbeats he always asks before if I'm feeling 'gassy'.
Tip of the Week: Protein, water and rest. I'm fairly certain these three things run my life these days.

What I'm looking forward to: One more week until we get to see our boys again. I'm really looking forward to seeing how much they've grown and changed!

A moment...

..or maybe it was many moments. Either way I had one.. or several this afternoon.

When we purchased our house there were many things that made us choose this one- a great big back yard for our someday babies to play in and a nice big walk in shower were at the top of that list. This morning was nice and toasty outside so the Hubs and I spent a couple of hours in the backyard, him planting and me scrubbing baby items to let sit in the hot sun for the afternoon. The entire time I was out there the boys were kicking (someone has found my ribs!) and I was daydreaming about how much fun those little brothers would have in our backyard exploring and playing together. It was sweet and a feeling that I longed to feel for a very long time.

After a couple of hours, I hit my heat max and came inside to take a nice refreshing shower. That walk in shower that we've loved so dearly has been out of commission for over a year awaiting some tile/grout work and we FINALLY had it taken care of this week. Today was my first shower in there in a very long time. I spent a good portion of my time in there crying sobbing this afternoon. You see, that used to be my crying place. The place I'd run to when we'd find out once again that I wasn't pregnant, the place I'd go when it all got to be too much. My husband found me in there countless times just sitting on the floor sobbing. So today, when I got in there and recalled this place I hadn't been in so long, it was a very happy moment to see water rushing down my growing belly and know that this time I was crying happy tears after years of sad tears in that same spot.

Random Thoughts...

I'm becoming more and more excited (which at this point doesn't even seem possible!) about the arrival of these boys with each day that passes. Over the weekend Hubs managed to get a TON done for the boys' room. We're making a great big abacus for the wall over their changing table, so he painted all of the wood beads for that, painted the metal garbage we're using for the diaper pail and also painted a piece of furniture for another room in the house. Meanwhile, I was able to get hostess gifts for the three women who are throwing my baby shower in a few weeks, hit up a tiny consignment sale and visit with a few friends.

The curtain fabric arrived on Monday and I love it (orange and white chevron). Now, I just need to find the proper hardware for the curtains so I know exactly how long to make them.... I can't wait for another piece to be DONE in their room. I start freaking out when I read about women who deliver their twins at 32-34 weeks or end up on strict bed rest around 28-30 weeks. For the record, I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to both avoid bed rest and get the big things done by 28 weeks.

This weekend we are taking a newborn care and breastfeeding class. I know its a little early, but it is a class specifically centered around multiple pregnancies and this is the last time it is offered until next fall- which seems a little late :) I read that it provides a bunch of good information on sleep with multiples and I think it will be interesting to meet other couples who are expecting multiples.

Our shower is 4 weeks from this Saturday. I know it is early (I'll be 26 weeks), but since it is out of town we decided that it was best to get it in before any possibility of partial/full bed rest. There are so many benefits for me when it comes to the timing of this shower. Not only will I likely be fine when it comes to traveling for the shower, but it also gives us plenty of time to make any returns or fill in the gaps on what we are missing over the next couple of months.

I cannot get enough to eat these days. I am so stinking hungry it is absurd. It is hard to get much food in me at one time, so it feels like I am constantly eating. Seriously. I ate breakfast twice yesterday. Followed by a lunch and about 4 afternoon snacks. SO HUNGRY! Perhaps this is why things are starting to pick up all of a sudden in the weight department.

Also, did you see this week's episode of Private Practice? Be warned. Holy cow.

21 weeks

How Far Along: 21 weeks 

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a banana.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Soooooo, this morning the scale says (liar!) that I'm up 13lbs. post retrieval. Ladies, that means I've gained 5-6 pounds in a WEEK. So, this is what being pregnant with twins is like. I've been thinking for weeks this was bound to happen.... it appears I've arrived. Don't take this as me caring about the weight gain- anything for these little stinkers, it just surprised the heck out of me this morning! 

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing mainly maternity. 

Movement: Loving every single one of their little kicks!

Belly button in or out? Getting more shallow. 

What I miss: Feeling rested.

Milestones: Baby furniture IN MY HOUSE!!!

Food Cravings:  There was one day that I couldn't live without a bean burrito... at least it was lots of protein!

Aversions: Eggs. I keep trying, but they are still totally gross.

Symptoms:  Exhaustion, leg cramps, lots of soreness and ligament pain. 
Best Moment this week: Getting the cribs set up and in their room!

Funny Moment: While hubs was putting the cribs together I was sitting on the floor 'helping' him. He got up to go do something and I fell asleep sitting up with my face in the slats of the crib.
Tip of the Week: Listen to your body- do what it needs. It is totally not worth it to make your body wait.

What I'm looking forward to: Two weeks until we get another peek at our sweet little guys!


*I'll do my best to remember to add a picture later.

Belly...

I think it looks pretty much the same... maybe a little higher, a little fuller and kinda pointy? I am feeling their little kicks MUCH higher than ever before, but only occasionally. It seems like I'm carrying really low, which seems to be 'typical' for boy pregnancies- and unfortunately I'm feeling every ounce of them in each and every one of the bones in my pelvis. Thankfully I've figured out what makes the pain worse and what helps to make it a little more bearable. Good thing they are totally worth it :)

19 Weeks

20 Weeks

Getting Real...

Every week or two I get this 'holy crap this is really happening' feeling. It seems like it has been happening a lot more in the last few weeks than it did in the first several, and I have to assume that has to do with all the nursery progress and purchases that are being made for these baby boys. 

I have a nursery. In my house there is a room that is specifically for babies. Not just any babies, not hypothetical someday babies.... OUR baby boys!

Holy Crap. 

The feeling happened when we cleaned out their room. It happened again when we bought a dresser/changer for them, when we painted their room and it happened again this week when I placed the order for their cribs and mattresses. They will be arriving Thursday and at that point I will have cribs in my house. For babies that are mine. For Andrew and Henry. 

Did I tell you I almost started crying over the weekend when we were on our way to create our baby registry? I probably would have been fine if I hadn't looked at my husband and said how happy I was, and how I wondered for so long if this was something we'd ever get to do.  

In the last several weeks I've been soaking in the happy. The true happiness that my little heart has been flooded with in the last 20 weeks, well, I guess maybe 16 weeks. I've said it to my husband over and over and thought it probably everyday. Happy feels SO good. I had forgotten this feeling. I can't say that I wasn't ever happy during all the trials of that last 3.5 years, but I can say for certain it wasn't like this. I didn't wake up every morning sore and exhausted, but still smiling and thrilled about our future. There were moments of happiness, but it if someone where to ask how I was, I wouldn't have answered with happy. Now I'm a lot of things... sore, tired, feeling huge but more than anything else, I'm deliriously happy.  

20 Weeks

How Far Along: 20 weeks 

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a small cantaloupe.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm up about 7 pounds post retrieval. 

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing more and more maternity, but a lot of  my pre-pregnancy longer tops still work. 

Movement: They are on the move, and I LOVE IT! I don't ever tire of feeling their little kicks and jabs. 

Belly button in or out? Getting more shallow. 

What I miss: Feeling rested.

Milestones: HALFWAY! I'm guessing I'm a little more than halfway since there are two babes in there. Registering over the weekend for OUR BABY SHOWER! It is just 5 short weeks away!

Food Cravings:  Nothing that really stands out.

Aversions: Eggs are slowly getting better. I've eaten them a couple of times now.

Symptoms:  Exhaustion, lots of soreness and round ligament pain. 
Best Moment this week: Seeing our babies again, finding out that they are both boys and both healthy!

Funny Moment: I was breaking down a box from something that had been shipped and popped a couple of air pillows that came in the box. The first couple didn't make much of a sound when they popped, but the last one sure did. It was right next to my belly when I popped it, and somebody inside got scared and gave me a good solid kick!
Tip of the Week: When you are going to the bathroom and feel like you are almost done emptying your bladder, lean forward as far as the belly will allow. This is a HUGE help in fully emptying your bladder so you don't have to make another trip to the loo ten minutes later!

What I'm looking forward to: Our next peek at the boys.... I'm always looking forward to seeing them again - 3 weeks from today :)

Easter

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter! Ours consisted of church (more on that later!), a waddle through the grocery store, a lavish (ha!) taco bell lunch in the sun, a traditional Easter dinner and the evening ended with me icing my crotch. Seriously. Ouch.

We've lived in this city for over two years now and have had every intention of finding a church, but never have. This morning we tried out a church. We arrived a little early and sat in a row by ourselves. Soon, a older woman came in next to us and struck up a conversation with us. She asked if we had children (this is the root of the reason I've been so reluctant to find a church) and I replied by saying "I'm pregnant with our first and second." It gave me an immense amount of joy to smile as I looked down at my belly and rubbed my baby boys. She asked if twins run our family and she also said "there are so many twins these days- I know a lot of them are those artificial ones. You know, like the ones the movie stars have." ha! The entire time hubs was squeezing my leg. In the past this conversation would have irritated me. Today, not an ounce of what she said to me mattered- I had two sweet baby boys in my belly kicking away.... That, and I'm pretty sure she just called me a movie star :)

Next up was a trip to the grocery store to prepare for an Easter dinner that we hadn't really planned on cooking for the two of us. I'm pretty sure the pregnancy waddle has begun. Everything in my pelvis is sore and this belly is starting to throw off my center of gravity. After grabbing everything we needed for dinner, we decided there was no way we would able to be able to wait a couple of hours to eat while everything cooked, so we decided on taco bell for lunch... a new Easter tradition in the making? Probably not.

And finally, my evening ended laying on the couch with an ice pack on my lady bits. Yes, that is how sore that area is. It is excruciating pain when I change positions in bed at night, get up from a sitting or laying position or walk farther than about 20 feet. As sore and uncomfortable as I am, I'd do it for 40 more weeks if I knew that my babies were safe and growing in there... thankfully I only have a maximum of 20 more to go!

To to sum up the day... my babies are 'artificial', I'm a movie star, taco bell is an appropriate holiday meal and nothing ends an evening like icing your crotch.

Registry...

We are planning to start our registry over the weekend, and while we generally know what we want/need if any of you mamas out there have favorite items  (especially mamas of twins!) please feel free to comment! Also, are there items that you wish you would have had more of... crib sheets, changing pad covers, pacifiers, swaddling blankets?

Au Natural...

Since becoming pregnant I've been asked a million times if I plan to have a natural delivery.

I always laugh. 

Every time.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

• I'm having twins- I may not have a lot of say in how it all ends up. 
• I have ZERO attachment to having a natural birth.
• I do not see myself as less of a women if I choose not to 'do it the way millions of women have done it' ahead of me... without drugs- in fact, I fully intend to have an epi.
• I want these babies to get here safely. If that means drugs and knives I'm ok with that.
• These babies got to my uterus via massive amounts of medication, hormones, a plastic catheter, ICSI, 5 days in a lab and many, many people other than my husband and I... nothing about this process has been 'natural' I'm guessing that isn't going to change now.  
• I may or may not have placenta previa on their birthday complements of Baby A... if things don't move I will not have the option of a vaginal delivery- like it or not. 
• I don't want to have any expectations of their birthday. They will be deciding how their day is going to go- there is no sense in me trying to write it down and prepare for it. Let's remember that I planned on them being here about 3 years prior to their arrival date- obviously they are in the driver seat.

So, there you have it, my thoughts on the birth of these sweet little babies. It is weird to think that we're getting close to the halfway point of a normal 40 week pregnancy and likely have passed the halfway point in this twin pregnancy!

I know I have A LOT of natural delivery Mamas as readers. Please know that my thought of birth is 'to each her own' we all have differing feelings about birth... these are mine :)

19 week ultrasound

... there is sure to be an enormous amount of dirt, wrestling, farting, burping and grass stains in this house of mine. That's right, I'm about to be totally outnumbered- TWO BABY BOYS!

And, because you all have been asking for it for WEEKS.... here they are in all of their glory. The belly feels huge to me, but I can only imagine what it will look/feel like in a few weeks. I'm sure I'll look back at this picture and laugh hysterically that I thought I was 'big'!!

Everything looked great on the ultrasound. Both babies are measuring a little ahead- this is always what I hope for considering twins have a tendency to come a little early. I think they were both measuring between 10-11oz each. They were crazy in there and moving a TON, so the tech had a little bit of a hard time getting images of the legs and feet, but from what she was able to measure, they looked perfect! I had a quick visit from old wandy at the end of my ultrasound appointment to check on my cervix. She didn't give me the measurement, but she did say that it looked great and was nice and long. The only slight concern at this point is Baby A's placenta is 1.7cm away from my cervix. The ideal is more than 2cm (I think cm was the measure?), so that could possibly pose an issue for a vaginal delivery, but as we all know (or did I forget publish that post?) I have ZERO expectations for the birth of these babies. 

I'll see the same doctor again in another 4 weeks for a quick appointment and another ultrasound (what will I do if I have a singleton after this twin pregnancy!?!?). After that, I'm not sure if we'll transfer to our delivering doctor (at a hospital with a nicu) for our 27/28 week appointment or if we'll see our local doctor one more time and then transfer. I was worried about this before, but this pregnancy (knock on wood) is progressing so easily and with nearly no complications so I feel completely confident sticking with our local doctor as long as things stay the same. 

19 weeks

How Far Along: 19 weeks 

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a mango.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm up five or six pounds post retrieval, or 11 or 12 pounds overall if you count what I lost and gained back in the beginning. 

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing all maternity on the bottom (unless I'm wearing sweats) and just a few maternity tops.

Movement: They are moving, and I'd love to feel them more often! Now that I'm feeling them, it freaks me out when I go a few hours without feeling that gentle tapping. Baby A's movements are few and far between- I wish that dang placenta would move so I'd be able to feel his movements more. 

Belly button in or out? Still in. It did crack and bleed this week.... I suppose that means it is stretching. 

What I miss: Feeling rested.

Milestones: Anatomy scan today! Update to come :)

Food Cravings:  Nothing really this week. Fruit still sounds really good.

Aversions: Eggs are slowly getting better. I've eaten them a couple of times now.

Symptoms:  Nausea when I get hungry, the never ending stuffed up nose, occasional heartburn, tailbone pain and overall fatigue. OH! and this crazy soreness/pain in what feels like the my crotch bones... anyone have this one??
Best Moment this week: Seeing the nursery all painted and ready to be decorated! I can't wait to get started. I think we'll order the cribs this week :)

Funny Moment: We painted the nursery over the weekend and were finishing up around lunch time. As Hubs put the finishing touches on the room, I said I'd run out and get lunch. I was starving! I ordered our food at the drive up and when I reached the window they informed me that they were not taking any sort of card as payment. WHAT?!?! As usual, I had no cash and I had to come home and find something at home to make for lunch, but not before I was nearly in tears in the car on the way home. Who does that to a starving pregnant woman?? Hubs looked at me like I was CRAZY when I told him how upset I was!
Tip of the Week: Protein and water fix almost anything.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing our babies TODAY and finding out for sure if we're having two boys or a boy and a girl!