A moment...

..or maybe it was many moments. Either way I had one.. or several this afternoon.

When we purchased our house there were many things that made us choose this one- a great big back yard for our someday babies to play in and a nice big walk in shower were at the top of that list. This morning was nice and toasty outside so the Hubs and I spent a couple of hours in the backyard, him planting and me scrubbing baby items to let sit in the hot sun for the afternoon. The entire time I was out there the boys were kicking (someone has found my ribs!) and I was daydreaming about how much fun those little brothers would have in our backyard exploring and playing together. It was sweet and a feeling that I longed to feel for a very long time.

After a couple of hours, I hit my heat max and came inside to take a nice refreshing shower. That walk in shower that we've loved so dearly has been out of commission for over a year awaiting some tile/grout work and we FINALLY had it taken care of this week. Today was my first shower in there in a very long time. I spent a good portion of my time in there crying sobbing this afternoon. You see, that used to be my crying place. The place I'd run to when we'd find out once again that I wasn't pregnant, the place I'd go when it all got to be too much. My husband found me in there countless times just sitting on the floor sobbing. So today, when I got in there and recalled this place I hadn't been in so long, it was a very happy moment to see water rushing down my growing belly and know that this time I was crying happy tears after years of sad tears in that same spot.