Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Getting Real...

Every week or two I get this 'holy crap this is really happening' feeling. It seems like it has been happening a lot more in the last few weeks than it did in the first several, and I have to assume that has to do with all the nursery progress and purchases that are being made for these baby boys. 

I have a nursery. In my house there is a room that is specifically for babies. Not just any babies, not hypothetical someday babies.... OUR baby boys!

Holy Crap. 

The feeling happened when we cleaned out their room. It happened again when we bought a dresser/changer for them, when we painted their room and it happened again this week when I placed the order for their cribs and mattresses. They will be arriving Thursday and at that point I will have cribs in my house. For babies that are mine. For Andrew and Henry. 

Did I tell you I almost started crying over the weekend when we were on our way to create our baby registry? I probably would have been fine if I hadn't looked at my husband and said how happy I was, and how I wondered for so long if this was something we'd ever get to do.  

In the last several weeks I've been soaking in the happy. The true happiness that my little heart has been flooded with in the last 20 weeks, well, I guess maybe 16 weeks. I've said it to my husband over and over and thought it probably everyday. Happy feels SO good. I had forgotten this feeling. I can't say that I wasn't ever happy during all the trials of that last 3.5 years, but I can say for certain it wasn't like this. I didn't wake up every morning sore and exhausted, but still smiling and thrilled about our future. There were moments of happiness, but it if someone where to ask how I was, I wouldn't have answered with happy. Now I'm a lot of things... sore, tired, feeling huge but more than anything else, I'm deliriously happy.  


10 comments:

Stephanie said...

I FEEL the happiness coming through your post! And I'm so happy FOR you! I love all those little mile markers where it hits you and you realize this is it. :)

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness, did I miss the name announcement post?! But Andrew and Henry - LOVE! And I love that the boys have names now! So so cute!! Enjoy the happiness and the reality as it sets in even more! So so ecstatic for yall!!

E and R said...

Oh I remember thinking and feeling those same feelings. It was all so surreal and at times I was waiting for someone to jump out and say "haha, just kidding!" I was so happy to be pregnant and to know that I was finally going to be bringing home my baby.
Then, she was born and it was a feeling like no other. I cry still just thinking of it because I am so over-the-moon happy that she is here and that she is mine. The overwhelming feelings of love and happiness come at some unexpected moments - like going to see the Easter Bunny, there were many Easters that I wondered if we would ever get to bring our own little one to see him and have pictures taken, yet there we were this year, standing in line! Cue the tears!
Life is about to get so much sweeter my friend and I am so happy for you and hubby that you are finally getting to experience this wonderful world of parenthood.

Emily said...

I love this post. Happy holy crap moments are the best. So happy for you!

Megan said...

Yay! I'm so happy you're happy. It is still so surreal sometimes, isn't it? But it's so wonderful when it feels real. I can't wait to see nursery pictures! How are your hips feeling?

Joys Truly said...

Love your baby names and the happiness is the best!

Cristy said...

I'm really glad that you are in this place emotionally. Seeing that it is possible to get to this state gives me hope as I continue my journey towards parenthood.

May these next ~20 weeks continue to be filled with happiness and treasured moments. You and your family deserve nothing less.

Sarra said...

Yay for Andrew and Henry! Great names! Andrew is what we are naming our baby boy due in June :). I know exactly what you mean about the happiness just soaking in and now that we're getting closer, believing that this is REAL! It's such a beautiful feeling!

Jesica said...

So happy for you!

Caitlin said...

This all sounds so amazing. I love that you are so happy and everything is going so great. I'd lOve to see your registry too if you plan to post it :).