Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Trust.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Sometimes I wish that I could have a quick glimpse at the plan God has for my life. I trust fully that his plan has had infertility in it from the moment my story was written, but I would like to see the outcome. For example if I were to know that two (or even TEN) cycles from now I would become pregnant, I would be able to joyfully bound into my RE's office week after week for all of those "undress from the waist down" appointments with a smile on my face, knowing that it was just a matter of time. As logical as this seems in my head, I am reminded that knowing the story by peeking at the journey is not FAITH.

If I knew His plan ahead of time, there would be no room for TRUST. We are called to put our faith in an unseen God. In His time He will reveal the plans he has for each of us. It is our job to meet him there, acknowledge Him and trust Him. We are not asked understand his plan for us, or even the depth of what he is doing in our lives- we are simply called to put our trust in a God that knows the desires of hearts and have faith that His plan is greater than our own.
Please don't think I am saying this is easy. I was born and raised in a Christian home. I was taught from a young age that there was a plan for my life, and the God we served was the author of that plan. However, when infertility became a part of my story I wasn't sure what I thought of this "plan." Would a God who loved me and cared about me really write this very painful journey into my story? The answer is yes, and although I am still don't understand it, I trust that someday I will.


3 comments:

Bobbi said...

Amen! :) I have that Bible verse in my blog header. It's my all-time favorite and reading it always brings peace to any situation. Knowing God's plan for our lives would save a lot of heartache. Knowing WHEN we'll get pregnant would save us all those upsetting BFNs. But, our infertile journey is what God has planned for us right now, with a big, beautiful message to be learned. To trust Him. I strive to live that everyday. And I know, someday, we both will be blessed beyond our wildest dreams. :)

Lauren said...

Thanks for writing this post, I really needed it. I feel the same way, If I could just have one second to look in the future and know I will have a child I would be able to feel good again.
Your in my thoughts :)

Kim said...

I just placed that bible verse on my desk - its actually on sticker and I look at it every time I want to scratch my head and ask "why" "why God, why" - It's a great reminder and I love it!

beautiful post and awesome perspective to have. xoxoxoxox