Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...

Our discharge paperwork from the clinic yesterday said that we'd hear from the embryologist between 9:30 and 10am this morning. Although I thought to myself, 'that is such a small window, I bet it will be later' I still have have been sitting here with my phone, pen and paper in my lap since about 9am this morning.

9:30 came, no call.

9:31, no call.

9:45, no call.

9:59, no call.

10:03, no call.

And then, at 10:06 my phone rang. It was the embryologist with the report. I thought this moment was going to make all the difference. I thought I would be skipping through my day, with 8 or 9 little embryos growing away in the lab, not caring about my sore abdomen. That is not the reality. As I've already shared, we had 13 eggs retrieved on Thursday. Only 8 of the 13 were mature, all of them were ICSI'd. Of those, only 4 fertilized and are growing.

The embryologist tried to be optimistic, but my heart was sinking with each word that came out of her mouth. 4 embryos. Four.

I know I should be thankful for the four we have, but I can't help but be disappointed. Our clinic only does day five transfers, and typically about half of the fertilized embryos arrest after day three. That means chances are good we'll only have one or two embryos still going strong on Tuesday. Our clinic likes to leave the embryos undisturbed as they grow over the next few days, so we will not hear anything more about them until Tuesday morning before we head in for the transfer. So, until Tuesday morning I will be praying my little heart out that our little babes keep fighting.