Friday, July 15, 2011

Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...

Our discharge paperwork from the clinic yesterday said that we'd hear from the embryologist between 9:30 and 10am this morning. Although I thought to myself, 'that is such a small window, I bet it will be later' I still have have been sitting here with my phone, pen and paper in my lap since about 9am this morning.

9:30 came, no call.
9:31, no call.
9:45, no call.
9:59, no call.
10:03, no call.

And then, at 10:06 my phone rang. It was the embryologist with the report. I thought this moment was going to make all the difference. I thought I would be skipping through my day, with 8 or 9 little embryos growing away in the lab, not caring about my sore abdomen. That is not the reality. As I've already shared, we had 13 eggs retrieved on Thursday. Only 8 of the 13 were mature, all of them were ICSI'd. Of those, only 4 fertilized and are growing.

The embryologist tried to be optimistic, but my heart was sinking with each word that came out of her mouth. 4 embryos. Four.

I know I should be thankful for the four we have, but I can't help but be disappointed. Our clinic only does day five transfers, and typically about half of the fertilized embryos arrest after day three. That means chances are good we'll only have one or two embryos still going strong on Tuesday. Our clinic likes to leave the embryos undisturbed as they grow over the next few days, so we will not hear anything more about them until Tuesday morning before we head in for the transfer. So, until Tuesday morning I will be praying my little heart out that our little babes keep fighting.


13 comments:

E and R said...

I'm so sorry you didn't get the news you were hoping for! I'm sure that everything will be fine come Tuesday! Try and stay positive - call if you need/want to talk!! Thinking of you and praying that those babes keep growing nice and strong for a great surprise on Tuesday!

Stephanie said...

Just wanted to say I'm sending prayers for your little embabies!! Stay positive and remember, it truly just takes one! Hugs to you friend!!

K said...

Sorry the counts weren't as high as you were hoping for - but 4!!! 4 fertilized - thats wonderful news still! Crossing my fingers for Tuesdays and for your little embys to grow and grow :)

I go for my IVF consult today - your blog has inspired me to start my own, and help calm a lot of my fears. Thanks!

Diana said...

Hang in there!! Dont lose hope. Will b thinking of ya! Positive vibes ~ positive vibes <3

JM said...

I'm sorry you have to go through the next few days with news that doesn't sit very well. I'll be hoping for a wonderful growth spurt this weekend for your little embies!

Michele said...

I'm sorry that it wasn't as good a report as you thought it would be. Sound's like the good ones are the ones that stuck around and hopefully they will all still be here come Tuesday. I hope you can find something to keep your mind occupied this weekend. Waiting is the life of an infertile. You must be good at waiting by now.

B- said...

Fingers crossed for your little embryos! This past cycle we only had six retrieved and three fertilize normally. I demanded that we do a three day transfer since it wasn't like we had a lot of embryos to pick from anyways... and I haven't announced it yet- but got my first poitive pregnancy test yesterday (trying not to get too excited til the beta tomorrow)! It only takes one and you got four little fighters growing! If you follow The Two Week Wait blog- she only had one fetilize - so only one embryo to transfer and she's pregnant now! Thinking about you and fingers crossed for your little embryos!

TurtleMama said...

It only takes 1 (or 2) and you have 4 promising embryos so I think you are in good shape. I know it is so hard to stay positive, but everything will work out. Praying for you and your little ones.

Baby Hopes said...

Sending prayers! Grow, little ones, grow! Your mama wants you so badly!!!

JM said...

Hey, also... I gave you the Versatile Blogger Award! I love keeping up with your journey and thought you could use the boost right now! Good luck!!!

L said...

I'm so sorry it wasn't the news you were hoping for. I'm praying that all four keep growing!

TeamBabyCEO said...

Thinking of you-you have four that are showing GREAT PROMISE so stay strong and Monday can't get here soon enough! All my best!

LC said...

Thinking of you girl. Saying lots and lots of prayers.