The friend referenced in this post can also be found saying stupid things here, here and here
Long story short, she is fertile and will NEVER get it.
Today she called me to catch up. After exchanging greetings, she gleefully inquires... "so, are you pregnant?" I responded with "uhh, nope" and she giggled and said, "well I hadn't talked to you for awhile!" She knows we are struggling, I just told her a few weeks ago how crazy hard all of this is, and she still asks totally insensitive questions. I was going to say something to her, but honestly, she just seems like a lost cause.
She is the biggest reason we haven't shared our infertility story with the majority of our friends and family. She has been a great example of how we would like to NOT be treated!
That's life I guess. Do you have friends who are just completely an totally not understanding of what you're going through?!?!
4 comments:
YES!! She was also the reason I didn't get honest on my blog but I finally said, 'to heck with her!'
There are people in the world who get this and are sensitive to your situation and there are people in the world who do not now or will not ever get it. I'm sorry that we have to have friends like that because it certainly doesn't make our lives any easier!
She doesn't really sound like the kind of friend you need in your life right now. I mean, if she's so unknowingly insensitive to your struggles, you need to just cut the tie, at least temporarily. You don't need any more heartache in your life right now. The friends that I have told have been sensitive, but lots of times they don't know what to say because they can't relate. But, they never make awful comments like this friend of yours does.
People suck. That's the simple answer. Truthfully, when someone hasn't experienced something like this, it's just really hard for them to get it. But, what helped me, when I started telling people of my situation, I would tell them how hard it was and how hard it was hearing the stupid things people say and actually listed off some of the dump comments. That way at least they knew up front what I didn't want to hear. My blog was also public to my friends from the beginning and I addressed that issue. So I actually had some friends apologize and be like, "Uh, sorry. I think I'm guilty of some of those comments." At that point I could laugh and say it was ok because I knew they didn't have a clue they were being hurtful.
Oh yes, absoutly. However amoung the bad and mostly insentive there are a few diamonds. I personlly think its worth having a few shit friends around so you can find the one that really does care and understand. They might not be in the same place or have any idea but they are willing to listen and let you cry. They do not judge you and will let you be crazy.
I hope you find a few that can be there for you. Don't let this one keep you from knowing what your other friends can offer.
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