I hate it when we find that we were absolutely and totally right when we decided not to share our infertility with all of our friends and family. Sound funny? I know, I should be happy that we made what seems like the right choice, but instead it makes me sad and angry that people have no idea how to deal with this topic- in turn making us feel like if we do share we can't expect much from those that we reach out to.
A little back story to my rant this morning...
We've told VERY few people about what we are dealing with, let me introduce you to them:
Fertile Couple: They've conceived 4 times without even trying, and often make comments like "maybe you are just meant to be a really great aunt" or "you can have one of ours" or "just enjoy not having kids, you will miss this." Great, thanks.
Best friend: She's a health teacher, not married and has known we were trying since nearly the beginning. She doesn't ask about what is going on, and sometimes that is nice but it would be good to know that she cares from time to time. I know it is an awkward subject and no one wants to end up on the phone with a crying infertile woman, but isn't that what best friends are for??
"Infertile" turned pregnant #1: She tried to get pregnant for 6 months, begged for clomid and got pregnant on the first shot. She didn't do a great job of being there for me during her pregnancy (that may have been partially because of my resentfulness), but after the birth she really struggled and I think she is realizing how hard what I am going through really is. She does a pretty great job of being there for me even when she doesn't totally get what I am facing.
"Infertile" turned pregnant #2: Tried to get pregnant for a little over a year, was told after one (kinda crazy) SA they would need to do IVF to get pregnant... they never got a second opinion. They went on to get pregnant on their own right around the one year mark. My guess is it was just a bad SA. She claims to "totally understand" what I am going through. She sent me TWO emails over the weekend begging for an update on IUI#2 and when I replied with the bad news she never even responded.
All this to say... I am beyond thankful this Thanksgiving for all of my fantastic blog friends. I hate infertility, but I love that we can all encourage each other through this trying (haha) time.