Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It is pretty typical for me to wish that I had responded differently to certain situations. I am the type of person who doesn't usually want to rock the boat or make anyone feel awkward about a comment they've made regarding our lack of children. There are several reasons for this.... first, and most importantly we are still "in the closet" for the most part, and I'd like to keep it that way until I am good and ready. And second, with those that do know our situation I don't want to be rude or make then feel terrible for a comment that they probably didn't mean the way I took it.
One on of my first posts on this blog was similar, but recently I've been bombarded with stupidity so I thought I would share one more.

While changing the diaper of a screaming toddler...

SHE SAID: "Are you sure you want this?"
I SAID: "Yes."
WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID: "YES, and I know it will be worth EVERY SINGLE painful emotion, stirrup session, probing, and unkind word that I meet between now and then.”

Let me add that this particular person is one of the only people we've told about our struggle to get pregnant. I understand that this is not even close to something that she understands. She has been pregnant 4 times, none of them planned. I pretty much know for a fact that if she knew that her comment had been gnawing away at me for the past week she would feel terrible. That isn't the point. The point is, take two seconds and think about what you are about to say before you say it.

Especially to an infertile woman.


Rae said...

I am sorry! I think that it is so much worse since she *knew*. Maybe she was just frustrated, but as you say, it doesn't take that long to think before saying things like that to a woman struggling with infertility.

Sara Renee said...

I looooove how people "OFFER" me their children when they do something bad... Ugh, I always tell them, "Yes, Children are a blessing and should be treated as such. Now, lets put this agreement in writing." They quickly change their 'tude.