In the book that I recently read (Empty Womb, Aching Heart) there was a sentence that jumped off the page and bit me right in the face. It made my nose sting and my eyes water. It was one of those things that I keep thinking, but then push to the back of my mind and pretend that it isn’t truly a reality. The author of the chapter wrote “I needed to stop living for the tomorrow that might not ever come and start living for today.”
I have countless times thought ‘we will do that once we have a family.’ The thing that sticks out the most in my mind right now is making holiday traditions of our own. Although I long to make our own holiday traditions, I keep putting it off until we have a family. When will I realize that we ARE a family. The two of us are a family and we can make our own decisions about holidays. We don’t just have to follow what our extended families decree just because we don’t have any little ones in tow. Yet.
It is my hope that in 2010 I can live more in the here and now and less in the future that I am hoping for. I need to learn that enjoying our childless life does not for a second negate the fact that we want children more than anything, but it might keep me a little more sane.
Here is to a wonderful 2010! Babies or no babies, I want to enjoy the year and spend less time wishing and more time living.