Time

Time is a funny thing. Although I'm not convinced that it "heals all wounds," I have to agree that sometimes it lessens the memories. Today's example: clomid.

After about a 9 months of trying to get pregnant I started the wonder drug. I did six cycles in a row and none of them worked. Well, they "worked" but I didn't get pregnant. What did I get? Hot flashes, headaches, clomid fog and the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach that just won't go away. However, about a year later when my RE suggested that we start our treatment with her by using clomid in conjunction with IUI I wasn't too worried. Clomid was a distant memory. Don't get me wrong I remembered that I DID NOT enjoy taking it, but I also had forgotten just how MUCH I hated it. Fast forward to yesterday when the first dose went down the hatch. I was fine for several hours, but when I went to bed I remembered my least favorite of all the side effects.... the hot flashes! Yuck. I am not a fan of sweating unless I'm working out. That being said, waking up with a damp shirt only an hour after falling asleep was a little concerning. At first I thought I was getting sick... then I remembered... Clomid.

BUT, as much as I don't like it, if it works I will sing its praises FOREVER!

I don't mind time mending the open wounds of infertility, but I hope it doesn't fix them. I would like to come out the other side of this with a scar. I want to remember this time in my life and all of the things I've learned from it. The struggle will only make it sweeter.