Sunday, April 3, 2011
Twisted...
Is it sick at twisted that while I'm not even pregnant with our first baby I am already kind of freaking out about getting pregnant with the next one? My husband and I have agreed that if we get pregnant with twins when we do IVF, we will probably not ever seek fertility treatments again. The probability of us having twins is pretty stinking high, but part of me gets sick to my stomach thinking about the possibility of doing this all over again. On the upside, at least I'd know what to expect.. you know, like 6 failed iuis. Is this normal? Those of you who would like for this elusive pregnancy not to be the ONE and ONLY, are you already worrying about subsequent possible pregnancies?!?
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I think about it all the time. I'm not sure what we'll do. We do know that if any make it to freeze, we'll implant them. But if we're able to get pregnant from IVF and implant all the embabies that we have, I'm not sure whether we'll do it again. I'm not sure whether I can withstand all of it again. I waver, so I think we'll end up deciding when we get there...
I, too, have worried about this. We have always said we would like to have 2 kids. If we don't have twins, well, the possibility of getting to have another seems slim. I can't imagine going through all of this again. For me, since we have to use donor eggs, I worry that the opportunity to have a child that is genetically 'related' to me will have passed, especially if we don't have any embies left to freeze. My sister (donor) may not be a possibility if we were to want to have another later on and there is nothing frozen (for a couple reasons: 1. she may not want to do this again either and 2. by the time we could afford to do it again she will be close to if not past 35 y/o).
I feel greedy when I start thinking of this. I know that I will be happy with one child, but I will also know that once again, one of our dreams didn't come true.
PS - the paper is not a fun one to write, but is coming along (7 of 10 pages done!)
I definitely worry about it, I hope we have twins so we can get two, although even if we had twins I'd want one more too. Never happy, huh?! But yes, I worry about going through this again despite not being able to have 1 little one stick to full term.
I think about it all the time, but secretly hope that a first pregnancy will flip some sort of switch in my body an the second time won't be so hard.
Ok, so maybe it's not completely fair that I answer this question but I thought it was funny that you asked this now because just last night I was telling someone my story of how it took us a year to get pregnant and about my PCOS and everything. She was sweet and congratulatory and did say how happy she was for us... But then she asked, "so does that mean it will be difficult for you to get pregnant again?" Gee, thanks for that. I know it is a reasonable question but it's something I really try not to think about... But of course the thought still enters my mind. I think the unknown is always scary so your worries are understandable. Especially with all you've been through.
At first I wasn't sure if I would want to go through it all again. It is so much on your body. Being we were having twins I thought, this is it, I don't have to worry about it. Now that we have lost one, I know we will want another baby and honestly, I would do it all over again!
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