I've had a lot of people ask how things went with our parents after we shared our infertility story with them. The short answer is.... great!
For so long, we (mostly me) were worried that there would be endless questions, awkward moments and enough pity for all of the infertiles of the world. We thought there would be opinions flying and judgements made. And to be honest, maybe there have been. Thankfully though, we haven't had to hear any of it.
We didn't go into extreme detail in our email, but we made it very clear it has been a very long, hard road with many treatments, fertility drugs, and dejected spirits. We were also abundantly clear that we hoped this wouldn't become a topic of conversation, and much to our surprise it hasn't. We asked that if they had questions they email them to us and allow us to decide together what we were willing to share. So far, not a single question. We received an initial email back from both sets of parents that was short, sweet and supportive of our choices for our family.
We saw both sets of parents last weekend for the first time since the email and although we did receive a slightly tighter hug upon arrival, a few thoughtful glances when families or babies were being talked about, in general it was business as usual.
For the moment, I am happy with our decision. We have their support if we need/want it, and more importantly we don't have to tip toe around anymore making excuses for not being able to make it to an event.
Honesty really is the best policy.
4 comments:
I am so glad to hear that everything has gone well since you decided to share your struggles with your parents.
My family knows what we have gone through and it has been a huge relief to be able to talk to them if I need to.
Hope this 2ww is going well for you!
I'm so glad to hear that sharing your struggles with your parents went well. I too have been really afraid to share with anyone because I was worried there would be tons of questions. So far I've just shared with my church group and one lady is a nurse and she did ask how things went with our appointment, but she was really supportive about it and I appreciated knowing that she cared.
I'm so glad that your family is supporting you in the very way that you need. I hope they continue to respect your wishes while supporting you in the best way!
Brilliant. I'm really pleased for you. My dad knows and has been great (occasionally he'll say something wrong but I know he only has my best best interests at heart). The real shocker has been my in-laws, who have been very discreet and caring without getting in my face.
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