I’ve been dancing around the topic since sometime in November. I was told that November would be my final medicated cycle with my current doctor’s office and if I didn’t end up getting pregnant I would need to seek the help of an RE. I knew it was coming. At the time it stung a little, just hearing the words and understanding what that would mean, but I still had hope that perhaps the final cycle would be “the one.” It wasn’t. When I found that I wasn’t pregnant I was sad, but decided that it was time to take a break and enjoy the holidays. I didn’t want to spend Christmas thinking about treatments and testing. I wanted to take a break and see what happened. Well, what happened is exactly what I had expected. I relaxed. I enjoyed my time with my husband instead of carefully planning out days. I continued charting, but I didn’t stress. And lastly, I didn’t ovulate… or at least not yet. Today is CD 40 and as far as I can tell I haven’t ovulated. It is pretty hard to get pregnant when you aren’t producing your half of the equation.
So, I think I’ve finally come to that point where the phone call I’ve been dreading will have to be made. The inevitable has arrived. I need to call and ask for a referral. I need to get some guts and just do it. It is becoming more and more obvious that I probably am not going to get pregnant without some medical intervention. As much as I wish the road would have been easier, in some weird and awful way it has been a blessing. I feel like a stronger person because of the struggle.
I’ve promised myself that by the end of the week I will call. I’ll find out if I need to schedule a follow-up or if they can just send me the referral. It is the first of many steps in the right direction. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am terrified, but for now I am keeping my eye on the end result and taking it one tiny step at a time.
No one said it would be easy, but it WILL be worth it. Someday.
2 comments:
Hello! Just wandered over to say thanks for the comment on Busted. I remember very well that moment of dread, when my OB referred me to an RE. Despite years of problems, I was in denial... it really made me say "oh crap, I really do have a problem". But it was actually a really good experience, talking to a doc who specializes in this sort of thing and made it seem not so scary. He/She might try different meds first, to avoid the more expensive stuff. In any event, good luck!
And thanks again for stopping by, I'm following you now!
Hello. I came to your blog from Kelly. I want you to know that I truly understand how you feel. My husband and I went through 3 years of infertility and we were finally referred in July to be fully tested for any issues that could be causing our infertility. We both had some pretty big issues. One was that I didn't ovulate. You may want to ask your doctor about Clomid. That plus some other drugs (for our other issues) have allowed us to FINALLY become pregnant...we're 8 weeks along. I'm praying that the Lord would give you the desire of your heart...a child.
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