Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Toxic...

I can't believe I forgot to add this little gem to yesterday's post...

My clinic is in a building that is attached to a hospital. The lower 3 levels are parking and then there are a few floors of offices and a sky bridge over to the main part of the hospital. After parking and making my way into the elevator area (seriously the SLOWEST elevator of all time) I waited for an elevator going up with a group of people. As I stood there I tried to determine where everyone was headed....

35-40 year old woman: By the nervousness that was emitting from her, I deduced that she would be following me up to the 3rd floor and walking into that barely marked white door right behind me. - For the record, I was right.

80 year old man with a walker: My guess was 3rd floor... maybe headed over the sky bridge to see his wife in the hospital. - Sure enough, he exited on the third floor and made his way over the sky bridge.

Woman in her late twenties with her mother: Judging by the smiles and general happiness of these two I was sure they'd be heading up higher in the building than I was. All of the pregnant women do, there must be an OB office up there. This woman wasn't showing, but I could tell. I can always tell. - They went up to the 4th floor. Lucky.

My stellar skills as an investigator are not the highlight of this elevator ride... it was the second passenger listed that takes the cake. When the door on the elevator closed he began to pass gas. Not super loud, but it was certainly noticeable. Now this was NOT your average passing of gas.... it lasted from the moment the door closed to just before it reopened. Then, when we proceeded out the door of the elevator he had what my brothers have always referred to as "the walking farts" .... a little gas with every step.

Perhaps my blood pressure had nothing to do with nerves... maybe it had everything to do with being exposed to toxic gas!

5 comments:

Stephanie said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! That is too funny, though I'm sure you may not have thought so at the time. Thanks for a good laugh this morning! :)

Michele said...

What is the book..."Everyone poops"...right? Well I guess Everyone Farts too, just hopefully you are spared the next time you're in an elevator.

L said...

Hahahaha - what a great story....although I'm glad I wasn't there, I don't think I would have been able to hold in my giggles!

E and R said...

It is such a good thing I was sitting down while I read this - TOO FUNNY! I would have loved to see everyone's face (without having to experience the toxicity!)
Thanks for a great laugh!!

Kelli said...

lol...reminds me of my grandpa...