Saturday, July 31, 2010

Monday...

As I've stated on my blog before, I am a huge wuss when it comes to going to the doctor... especially a new doctor. So much in fact, I've been putting it off for the last 7 months. I decided I needed a break after 6 grueling months of Clomid back in December, and then life happened, things got busy and I started to feel comfortable with the idea of not trying too hard knowing that if I wasn't being treated, I probably wasn't ovulating which made the 'you're still not pregnant' blow a little easier to bare.

Thankfully my husband has been a champ about it all. Although he would've loved for me to move on to the next treatment right after clomid way back in December, he let me be the judge of when I was ready to jump back into the ring and fight this battle. I've been ready for several weeks now, but I've been having a hard time making the call and setting an appointment. Then we celebrated about 4th anniversary.

On Thursday we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and as we sat on the deck eating our dinner we talked about everything that was going right in our lives, and inevitably we also talked about the one things that still seems to be missing. As we talked, I realized that the time was NOW. I had agreed not to buy him a gift other than the expensive dinner we had planned for the following evening, and he told me that all he wanted from me was a card. So, a card was what he got... with a little extra surprise... I made an appointment for myself for Monday. It is only the first tiny step in a journey that I am sure will have MANY more steps, but I feel good about it. I'm finally ready.

I am ready to move on with treatment, I'm ready to relay the status of my CM to a nurse and more than anything I am ready to be pregnant. But, I am not looking forward to rehashing the last two years to a man my father's age. I chose this doctor for two reasons... the first being that I called the office of my first choice and I couldn't get into see her as a new patient until June of 2011 keep in mind that she is a PCP, it isn't like I am trying to get into see some amazing RE or something. And second, I chose him because he resembles the doctor my family saw when I was a little kid, and for some reason it just seemed right. We'll see about that!

So, think of me on Monday... I know it is just a TINY step in the scheme of things, but it feels like a giant leap for a girl who HATES going to the doctor!! However, it is probably something I should get used to, aye?

1 comment:

Bobbi said...

So, how did your appointment go??? What is a PCP? Thinking about you!