Cruel...

Infertility is cruel. I feel like I can't take anything for face value anymore. I know that once I finally get pregnant *fingers crossed* I will not truly believe it until the moment I hold my baby. I've lost ALL trust in my body.

So, on to the point of this rambling post...
I've got crazy cycles when I am not medicated. Crazy like 90 days long, bleeding that lasts for days or weeks and enough positive OPKs to build one of those toothpick bridges that you make in your high school science class.... make mine the Golden Gate. Seriously, my chart looks like a freaking mountain range with peaks and valleys all over the place. Today, just a few days after a period that lasted just shy of two weeks (shoot me now) I took an OPK and it was blatantly positive. Like so positive the first line was WAY darker than the second and about twice as thick. Seriously? I would love to believe that on cycle day 18 ovulation is just around the corner and that I might- just might have a normal cycle, but with my reproductive system's track record, I am not counting on it. Make no mistake, I've already alerted the husband that he must, I repeat MUST come home at a decent hour from his poker game tonight just in case the science experiment in our bathroom really is for real.

Geesh, the things we do.....