I lost it last night. Plain and simple....
Ever since my husband and I moved into our house my least favorite thing about it was the family that lived across the street. Their kids are SUPER noisy, whine all the time and they are just an odd group. So, last night when we arrived home from a little weekend away I glanced across the street and told the hubs that I was pretty sure they were moving out. Three cheers for quiet summer mornings!
Fast forward about two hours. We had been watching all of our DVR'd shows from the weekend when I asked my husband to pause it so I could use the bathroom. I said something to the effect of "give me five minutes." Well, five turned into ten as I was opening the windows on the front of out house for the evening breeze. When I returned to the living room with the huge smile on my face and said something to the effect of "I think it is REALLY happening!!!" his poor heart began to flutter. He said "what is happening?!?" and without a thought I said, "they are moving!!!"... his heart sank.
I didn't realize any of this until we were climbing into bed last night and he told me. It hurt. For some reason, I feel OK about the duffel bag of hurt I lug around behind me day in a day out, but it kills me to see the pain in his eyes. I know that our journey has been difficult for him, just like it has for me, but I often forget to step back and see that his pain is just as real as mine. Just as warranted and just as wearing.
I cried. I sobbed. I let all of the frustrations of the last few months come streaming down my face. We talked. We cried. We prayed. We held each other until we fell asleep.
Although I don't enjoy spending my nights sobbing and my mornings recovering, it was a good reminder, one that I needed......
I don't have to drag the duffel bag of pain and heartache alone. I've got a partner, and he is SO much stronger than me. If we each take a side and do this together we can make it. We WILL make it.
Today I am so thankful for a husband who wants the best for me, cares for me more than I could have ever wished he would, and mostly thankful for partner on this journey.