Updates!

It has been so long since I've written much other than a monthly update for the boys. So here are a few bullet point to get things caught up!

• Insurance is still lame. I was denied by another company for a private policy, so we've decided for the moment to have Hubs continue working where he is. On the plus side, the infertility coverage remains, and depending on how long he stays at this job we may be able to use the remainder of our IVF benefits.
• Depending on the above, baby number three may be thought about sooner than originally planned. Likely closer to a year from now instead of two this is both exciting and terrifying at the moment!
• We went on a family vacation a couple of weeks ago. Nothing too grand, we just rented a great big house and hung out for five days! Relaxing and fun!
• I am still taking met.formin... on the days I actually remember. I was SO good about it when I was on it and trying to get pregnant. Now? Not as much. I'm hoping to get better about it, because I know it will help.
• My lack of summer clothing is somewhat comical. I was hugely pregnant last summer and the summer before I didn't buy many new things because I was doing IVF and hopeful I'd be pregnant and expanding soon. So, that leaves me with things that are a few years old, a little dated and worn out! Its time to go shopping I guess!
• Over the weekend hubs and I removed some furniture from our living room and rearranged it so we could add a large-ish gated area for the boys. They are both crawling and climbing now and we had to do something before I went INSANE!
• 9 month sleep regression... not my favorite. 9 month sleep regression coupled with two babies with a cold... a little slice of hell. 
• The boys HATE finger food. H will try a few things, A turns his head and clinches his lips. Any tips tricks, food ideas?!?
• We're in the market for convertible car seats and a side by side smallish (reclining) double stroller.... any recommendations?
• I'm so excited for summer! Farmer's markets, festivals and fun outing with my little family on the weekends- pure joy!
• We finally put both cribs back in the nursery- I love the way it looks!
• I currently have one child napping in the swing that I need to return to a friend- They haven't been in it in months because I was trying to wean them from it. Buuuut, mama would do anything for a little nap time with two cranky stuffy babies
• It seems insane that we are already starting to semi-plan the boys' birthday party! We are really excited and want it to be plenty special for our little guys-- I have approximately one million craft project to complete in the next three months.
• My husband asked me the other day what I wanted to be when I grew up. I responded first with 'am I not grown up?' and second with 'I'm doing exactly what I've always dreamed about. Being a mom and taking care of my family.' It is not always (or ever really!) a glamorous job, but it is pretty close to perfection in my book!

Insurance

Ugh.

This morning has been upsetting... I'm not sure that word even encompasses all I've felt.

In the past several months Hubs has been considering a new job. It was never his long term plan to be there forever, but it was easy to stay- the money is good, the insurance is great and he really likes the people. This past week he received a job offer. While the position is a fantastic fit, their health insurance options are not the best. Being a small company (compared to the very large one he currently works for) the premiums are HIGH... like nearly 3x what we are currently paying for amazing (infertility included) coverage. We were willing to walk away from our IVF coverage to the possibilities that were in front of us, and even take a slight pay cut all with a plan for the boys and I to get a private health insurance policy for a significantly reduced rate. Sure it wouldn't be perfect, but it would be doable. Until I was denied. I have to be honest, I was surprised. I knew infertility could be a problem, but I guess I just assumed (obviously incorrectly) that since it  is not covered under this policy that it would be a non-issue. Wrong.

It is upsetting because while I do still very much identify with the infertility community, I feel like it is behind me to some extent. We have three more embryos we intend to try with, but I feel pretty resolved at this point- if they don't produce a pregnancy, I'm finished with treatments. I get that I may change my mind, but I have been in such a great place since becoming pregnant with our boys. Today, well today reminded me of the hurt I felt before. That failure feeling- because now this possibly great fit job for my husband may have to be declined because we need to stay with our group health plan- because once again my reproductive system is getting in the way of the plans we have for our family.

Thankfully my husband does not blame me in any way for this. Infertility has always been something that was an 'us' thing, not a 'me' problem. I am so very thankful for this fact, and for the fact that he sees how this all hurts me and generally knows just what to say. He has been nothing but gracious this morning, saying if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. He is ok with having to continue on at his current employer if it is what it takes. He really is an amazing provider for our family.

I just wish infertility didn't have to steal our joy once more.

Nine Months...

• A's second tooth- bottom left broke the surface (4/17/13)
• Both of the boys have two top teeth that have broken the surface. Those gums are super puffy! Thankfully, both boys are in fairly good spirits. Teething doesn't seem to bother A at all, while H is a bit more sensitive. 
• The boys tried their first non-prepared baby foods. The first was mashed sweet potato.... SERIOUS HATE! Next they tried more of a finger food- avocado. They tried to feed it to themselves and I helped a bit too. They weren't too sure, but there wasn't (as much) gagging like with the sweet potato. Other finger foods we've tried include toast with mashed avocado, banana, cheerios and watermelon. 
• We moved their crib.  Just to the other side of our room so they weren't sleeping RIGHT next to me. Shortly after, and before I had planned, we moved the boys to the nursery and into separate cribs. On the same night they began rolling over in their swaddles which is super unsafe, so the following night we went cold turkey- no swaddles, no more sharing a crib and into the nursery! It has been a success from night one. Every once in a while teething gets the best of us, but for the most part is has been great!
• A needed his first band aid for something other than a shot. He tore his toenail while trying out his walker. 
• The boys are in love with their new playroom. We spend a lot of time in the living room, so when they start to get cranky we move the the playroom- perfect distraction for them, and I occasionally get a few photos edited!
• We started phasing out the swings. I moved them to the nursery and decided if we needed to use them the boys could swing/catnap in their room. I can see out our patio door again, just in time for summer!
• Both boys are now mostly in size 3 diapers (A is finishing off the 2s) and generally wearing 9m clothing except shorts... A is wearing 3-6m shorts.
• The boys generally sleep 9-10 hours per night and take two naps per day each somewhere between an hour or two. Depending on when the first two naps take place there might be one quick evening nap between dinner and bedtime. 
• A is fully army crawling and has started to do the real crawl- H is much more content to just sit where you put him. He gets around both scooting, rolling and the occasional army crawl, but is no where near as fast or determined as his little brother!
• We got the boys a pool- they LOVE it!
• They both love to spend their days outside. On average we are probably outside for at least 3-4 hours a day when it is sunny and warm. Thank goodness because we seriously neglected our yard when I was hugely pregnant last summer- now we want to spend tons of time out there so its time to get it back in shape :)
• When the boys were swaddled for naps and nighttime they used to get into their crib fully awake, now they prefer a bit of snuggle time and rocking with mama some days. It seems like a bit of a step backward, but I don't really mind, they wont want me like this forever. 

On Food:

We are feeding the boys 3 meals of solids most days. There are days they just aren't ready in the mornings and I'm not really forcing it. They take four 7oz bottles each day, so the vast majority of their calories/nutrition are still coming from formula. We have tried several finger foods, none of which are always a hit. Occasionally they will eat something, but the majority of the time they greatly prefer something mashed up on a spoon.

Since I'm already late, this will have to do! I have a feeling these updates will be getting shorter and shorter because the boys are getting busier and busier!

We did have their 9m well exam just a few days late where we found out the boys are both growing well and continue to thrive! H is just over 20lbs now and A is just shy of 19... no wonder those infant car seats feel like they have bricks in them!