Doesn’t everyone’s mother teach them this? Obviously not. Sometimes things that seem like nice things to say are far from it. Here are a few examples of things that have been said to me in the past year by family members, friends and insensitive nurses that are looking at my chart and prescribing fertility drugs……
We got pregnant the first month that we were trying.
-What I Say: Gosh, what a blessing!
-What I'm thinking: Wow, if I were ever going to slap a woman, this would be the time.
You are so “lucky” that you aren’t parents yet, no responsibilities!
-What I say: Yeah, it is nice to be able to pick up and go whenever we want!
-What I'm thinking: Really? Is that any way to talk about the blessing that you’ve been given? The one thing we long for more than ANYTHING else!
People always get pregnant when they stop trying.
- What I say: Yeah, I’m sure it is stressful.
- What I'm thinking: Stop trying? As if that is even an option anymore.
It will happen when it is meant to happen.
-What I say: In His time.
-What I'm thinking: Of course it will. What do you think you are some kind of shaman? You are NOT a magic 8 ball, please don’t pretend to be.
There is always next month.
-What I say: Yep!
-What I'm thinking: Is there?
Luckily although the comments sting, I still have a sense of humor. Like when my mother-in-law asks “when are you guys going to give me a grandbaby?” I first want to punch her, then I give some pre-fab excuse that I had waiting for this very question, and then I brush it off by picturing her saying something like “when are you guys going to start having gobs of unprotected sex?” Because really, isn't that the question she is asking?
Someday, it will all be worth it!