A special day...

Two years ago, on the day after Thanksgiving, just before I headed out with my family to do some black Friday shopping, hubs gave me my first stimulation  injection to kick off the cycle in which we made our boys! Though today isn't the same 'date' and isn't exactly two years later.... the day after Thanksgiving will always be the day we started making the babies who made me a mama!

I've always loved this day. Now, I just love it even more!

Easter came early...

In the last several days I've taken to calling my ovaries egg baskets. I mean, they kind of are, right? I only thought the baskets were full yesterday, holy hell, post trigger they feel like they're bursting at the seems. Like to the point that sitting isn't much of an option anymore. I'm either standing or laying/lounging, I don't totally remember how I felt at this point last time, but I'm guessing I was in a similar boat.

I'm trying to get a few more things done today before tomorrow morning's retrieval. If I can get the kitchen clean, a couple loads of laundry done and squeeze in a quick trip to the grocery store I'll be a happy camper.

The trigger last night was pretty I uneventful, which was a welcome change from our IM mishaps that we've had lately. That stuff stings, but we managed. Today is my favorite medication day of the whole cycle... Nothing but my usual meds, prenatal and a baby aspirin- so easy!!

I'm looking forward to my drug induced nap tomorrow!! And maybe, just maybe I'll have another life changing moment while I'm coming out of anesthesia again :)

Injections are O-V-E-R!!!

Ten days in...

I had yet another ultrasound, this time with the final doctor in the practice that I had yet to see. He's a fairly well known doctor when it comes to IVF, and I was glad to have someone who has seen plenty cases tell me it was time to TRIGGER!

My follies grew significantly (which did not go unnoticed by me!) and it looks like several are very ready and there are multiple that will get their final nudge with the vial of menopur I took this morning, tonight's follistim dose and the 10,000 units of HCG that will be swimming around in there later this evening. All of this means we're scheduled for a Tuesday morning retrieval! Yahoo!

I am so ready!

Stats:
Lining- >10mm triple stripe
Right side- 9 or 10 contenders + 3 smaller (largest 19mm)
Left side- 5 or 6 contenders + 5 smaller (largest 20mm)
E2- 2549, a much healthier number than this stage last time-- thank goodness!

Tonight:
Final follistim, lupron and dexamethasone doses.
6pm- 100iu Follistim
8pm- 5iu Lupron
9pm- Dexamethasone
9:30pm- 10,000units of HCG

Three more injections!!!

Dull...

You know what's rad? Dull needles.

The past TWO mornings poor hubs has tried to give me my IM menopur injection and the needle wouldn't go in with his normal pressure. This in turn freaks him out a little and we have to change the needle and go through the build up again. Both mornings we've managed, but seriously- not an enjoyable experience!

I'm crossing my little fingers that tomorrow will be trigger day. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be back on Monday for one last look and triggering orders, but a girl can wish, right? Grow, follies, grow... I am ready to be DONE with the needles!!!!

My energy level is pretty much non-existent. I got in my bed last night about 7:30 and read until I had to take a pill at 9 and then promptly fell asleep and slept soundly until 6 this morning when it was time for another injection. I'm not sure if it is from the meds, or my lack of exercise, but it is killing me.

This weekend it's time to get organized for some lazy days ahead... Cleaning, ironing and maybe a couple of make ahead meals. I still haven't finished decorating for Christmas, and I'm on the fence about finishing. As of now we have a couple things up in addition to our Christmas tree. The thought of getting everything else out seems a little daunting 9 days into stims, knowing that we won't be having anyone into our home between now and Christmas makes it all seem silly. Thoughts?

Stim Day 6...

Those are nice, huh? They even go all the way up to the knee!

Six days in, and it is time for another ultrasound and more blood work.

Today we saw 10 on the right side, 11mm being the largest. On the left there were 11 (only 6 that will likely be mature at ER) and 12.5mm was the largest. My lining is nice and thick at 9.5mm, it was only 7.5 at this stage last time! I'll go back on Friday for another ultrasound and more blood work.

There was a little comedy in the ultrasound room this morning. When my doctor came into the room to do the ultrasound she grabbed the ultrasound gel to prep the wand and sprayed it all over herself. We all laughed and she likened her situation to the one portrayed in 'Something about Mary'... hilarious. We all laughed and agreed that ultrasound gel would be better than the alternative. Next, I nearly kicked her in the face while assuming the position and she called herself a few names. This is why I love my doctor- we are totally on the same wave length. She is the perfect mix of serious and comical.

Hubs has been concerned about the placement of the circles for my IM men.opur injections. I asked about it today, and it was decided that while it was probably fine, we'd let him win this one and move them down just a tad. So, in case you're wondering, I have all kinds of sharpie marks on my back/rear right now.

Depending on my E2 level, we'll see where my follistim dose goes. I'm not even pretending to know what they'll do with it at this point! If I had to guess I'd think if it isn't decreased today, it will be on Friday. ** E2 came back at 700, so we're decreasing the dose to 100iu of Follistim instead of 150.**

I'm still feeling pretty good, tired and more bloated with the day, but overall there isn't too much pain or heaviness just yet. I really wish I liked protein more because I know it would help, for now the Gatorade will have to do!

I watched Biggest Loser this morning... I bet you can guess how that one ended. Really, was it necessary to reunite them with their spouses today? It was nearly more than I could take. 

Stim Day 5...

First, thanks to everyone who has given me the Liebster blog award. I am typically pretty crappy at playing along with these awards- and it seems as though pretty much everyone I follow has already received it!

I'm five days in, and boy can I feel it. My energy level is taking a nose dive and my mid-section is in a bit of turmoil. I've been interested in how this cycle matches up to the last, so here are the findings so far....

• At suppression: More follies present for IVF #1. Ovaries looked less 'PCOS-y' for IVF#2.
• I started on the same dose of menopur, but DOUBLE the dose of follistim. 
• In terms of total doses of follistim, I am currently about to days ahead of where I was last time. However, the plan is to work in the opposite direction as we did last time, tapering down instead of up. The hope is more mature eggs than last time. 
• The calm feeling remains. I'm not overly worried about anything. I have no idea what my E2 level was yesterday, and I am 100% ok with it. 
• I've started the precautionary OHSS diet earlier this time around. As soon as I felt any bloating I started drinking Gatorade, trying to be better about getting plenty of protein and cut back on the carbs and sugar. So far, it has helped relieve the bloating significantly and hopefully it will keep me in the clear after retrieval. 
• I weigh about 20 pounds less than I did for IVF#1.
• The random crying is similar to last time. Most of the time it is somewhat predictable, but sometimes it is 100% random. This morning I was watching a TV show, and though it was touching, it wasn't worthy of tears, so there I sat crying... and laughing at myself for crying. Nothing says irrational like a hormonal woman.
• Lemonade Gatorade is still my favorite flavor. For now. 
• Follistim stings A LOT more than it did last time. 

I'm currently setting up Netflix for bed rest.... what should I add??

So much to say...

I have approximately one million things to say, so here they are in no particular order....

Today is stim day four. I'm starting to feel bloated and sore-ish. And the bruises- they're annoying!

We cut down our christmas tree over the weekend- hopefully I'll have it decorated by the end of the day.

I had lunch with E today- I'm already totally bummed that she is moving away next year!

Monitoring appointment #1 was today. It looks like we have about 20 possible contenders. The largest was about 9mm and my lining was 5.5 with a triple stripe. So far so good! I heard back from the nurse after my blood work came back. She said the levels looked great, so we're keeping at the same dose (1 vial menopur and 150iu of foll.istim). I'm back in the office Wednesday and Friday for ultrasounds and blood work.

I think I missed the boat on exercise during stims. I was hoping to make a couple more trips to the gym, but I have a feeling that ship has sailed.

We bought a fraction of a cow... I'm a recovering vegetarian. In a typical week we eat beef maybe once or twice. I have a feeling that is about to change. What exactly is a person supposed to do with cube steak?

I hate it when there isn't enough left in your foll.istim cartridge for your whole dose. Two pokes=two bruises. Lame.

When I arrived home from our thanksgiving travels I had a package waiting on my doorstep from Janet! She sent me some seriously rad socks and her favorite book! What a fun and thoughtful little surprise! Thanks, Janet!!!!

I've started drinking Gatorade to combat the bloat, so far it is not that bad. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune a couple weeks from now. So far light blue and red are winners.

I got to snuggle with my nephews over the holiday- I love those boys!!!

I didn't witness a single black Friday fight! I did manage to find some good deals, but I didn't buy a single thing for anyone other than us. I scored some new sheets, jeans and a movie. I'm saving the nice new sheets for bed rest!

We managed the injection without letting on what we were up to. We just decided to take it early (5am) before I had to meet up with my Mom and SILs for shopping at 530. Since then, we've slowly pushed the time later and now we're up to our usual morning injection time of 6am.

Here's a picture of today's socks:

I got the results back from the pap with my new OB/gyn- everything is normal in there. Well,at least as far as that us concerned.

I had a dream over the weekend that I gave birth to a baby girl. She was perfect in every way, even if she was 27 inches long at birth!

Suppression Socks...

I thought I should post a picture of my socks from last week's suppression check before Monday's monitoring appointment!

Otherwise, we're just plugging along with stims- currently on day three. We'll see on Monday what is happening in there- I'm guessing we're about one week away from triggering. My abdomen is already feeling bloated. The men.opur is stinging WAY more than it did last time, but we are getting through it. I'm just glad I'm only taking one vial!!!!

I take it back...

Uhhh, guess who spoke too soon? My nurse called this afternoon I'm starting stims on Friday instead of Saturday. Which in the long run could be great news (I'll explain when I'm not typing on my phone) but for now, it really eff's with my black Friday mojo.

I'm sure I'll figure something out. How exactly do I explain needing to see my husband privately for 10 minutes at 6:30am when no one knows we're doing IVF? I'll let you know what I come up with!

Suppressed!

I had my suppression check this morning with one of the other doctors in the practice. I saw him several times while my doctor was on maternity leave last spring and we had a few comical run ins-  here and here. Thankfully nothing crazy happened today, just an ultrasound that showed suppressed ovaries and follies that were begging to be stimulated. Or something like that.

My ovaries looked a little different today- dare I say less PCOS-y than usual?!? There were about 9 follies on each side that were measuring somewhere in the realm of 6-7.5mm. My lining was 3mm. As I was writing this, the nurse called and said my E2 was nice and low at 32. So over all, there look to be fewer follicles from the start this time. But, I also know that my doctor counts ALL of the follicles at the suppression check and I'm not sure the doctor I saw today was counting the tiny ones. Either way, there are plenty!

Once all was said and done, ultrasound...blood draw...tats drawn on my hips, I had the pleasure of racking up some airline miles for what will surely be a baby-moon in the near future. And by this, I mean I paid for our cycle. And it was painful.

We're still set to start stims on Saturday morning, because it would be un-holy to make me rearrange my Black Friday shopping plans for something silly like a needle being shoved into my hip. This my friends, is why I LOVE my nurse!

Are you getting up at the crack of dawn and shopping on Friday? I'm waiting to hear my SIL's plan of attack and I'm kind of crossing my fingers that it doesn't start at midnight! Though, nothing says holiday cheer like watching a couple of women fight over a pillow pet  in the wee morning hours. I'm sure I'll be back with stories!


3 days until we start stims.
5 days until my first monitoring appointment!

I have a picture of my socks today but I can't seem to get it to upload... maybe I can share it over the weekend!

Infertile or Bi-polar?

Let me set the scene...

I arrived at the gym yesterday afternoon to squeeze in a quick workout. I wasn't at all interested in being there, but I managed to press on and hop up onto an elliptical for a quick 30 minute workout. Upon getting settled I open up my blog reader app and notice this comical little post from JM. I start laughing out loud as I'm reading. What began as just giggling over her poem transitioned to a full laugh when I read this...

"Today I took my last birth control pill. Quite the exciting swallow. (that's what she said) (yes I'm mature enough to parent) (or at least i will be in 9 months)"

The room was silent.. well except me, the one cracking up. People were staring, it was awkward. This alone wouldn't have been so noteworthy without what came immediately following my recovery from laughing. After putting my phone down and uncoiling my headphones, I plugged in and began watching one of the many TVs. First up, a family being surprised by their soldier father returning home. Seriously, I went from the one cracking up in the corner, to the one with a single tear rolling down her face in a matter of about 60 seconds. Thank you lu.pron. I quickly pulled the plug on that one and refused to even look in the general direction of that TV for the remainder of my workout. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room is now convinced that I'm bipolar or something. 

Scattered...

I don't have anything cohesive to say today so, as usual, its a list kind of day...

• I went to the gym twice yesterday- 7 miles and over a thousand calories. Who am I?
• ONE.MORE.BCP
• Christmas gift wrapping starts this weekend- I can't wait!
• Doxy.cycline makes me sick every freaking day. Next Wednesday can not come quick enough.
• I finally did some sewing today that had been in my to-do pile for weeks. 
• I just had the most pleasant call with my insurance company EVER. The rep not only spoke English, he also knew how to use his computer and I'm fairly certain had been educated past the 8th grade... AND he told me exactly what I wanted to hear which always helps :) Thanks, TJ!
• The injection tally is up to 3 at this point- only one bruise and two tiny red dots on my belly. 
• I wish the laundry fairy would come to my house. We used to be able to go weeks between laundry days if we wanted because I had a ridiculous amount of clothing. Now that I've packed up 4 huge tubs of clothes that no longer fit, laundry is more of a pressing issue- lame. 

Well, that was more boring that I anticipated. You can count on a celebratory post tomorrow after I swallow that last BCP!!

You forget the little things...

... well, and perhaps the big things too, I'm just not there yet to notice.

Lup.ron effing stings... like a lot.

Sure it only lasts a few minutes, but I had forgotten and it caught me off guard. I remembered that I hadn't loved doing that specific injection- but really, what injection did I love doing? We are one injection into this process, its the point of no return. I know time is about to start rushing by, and it will be Christmas before I know it. At which point, we will be celebrating with a tiny babe growing inside of me... I just know it!

Preparing...

Just like our first IVF cycle, I have high hopes of getting things pretty well in order before our cycle starts. This week will be full of deep cleaning the house, preparing for both Thanksgiving and Christmas and being a little more proactive about figuring out meals for when I'm on bed rest. 

Since I'm currently not working, I am fully able to take it easy when the stim drug side effects set in, and to lay low for a few extra days after the retrieval and transfer. However, I'm also a huge perfectionist when it comes to holiday gift giving. Enter stress- which I really try to keep to a minimum during treatment cycles. For this reason, we finished about 90% of our Christmas shopping this weekend and we are fairly set on what else we need to pick up- all easy to find, and all things the hubs could pick up if needed. 

Originally I was worried about how stressful it could be doing a cycle between the two holidays, but I've since realized that it is actually perfect timing for all that laying around-- Christmas movies galore! We're planning to go chop down our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend so that will be out of the way and I'm sure the house will be fully decorated that weekend as well. Nothing like laying on the sofa, watching Christmas movies while on bed rest- the Christmas cheer should dissolve the cycle's stress and worry, right?!?!

It feels crazy that we're kicking off our calendar TOMORROW! We'll both start our antibiotics and I'll also begin taking a low dose steroid, lup.ron and an aspirin. By Friday I'll be done with BCPs and we'll be about a week out from stims. When we made our plan in August for this cycle it felt so far away, and while it was, time has passed super quickly- I can't believe we're about to do another cycle. I keep wondering how 'clearly' I remember last cycle. I know partially I'm sugar coating what its like in my mind because I know first hand how worth it is to see those two pink lines and know that you are pregnant- even if only for a few short days or weeks. So I'll just keep up with that thinking- no matter what, its worth it!  

Get Outta My Head...

I've been having some absurd dreams lately. The first couple were just pain outrageous and left me thinking about carnies when I woke up in the morning. Last night's dream was about our egg retrieval.

You may remember that during our first IVF cycle I had a recurring dream about my doctor showing up to my ER wearing flannel pj's with kittens on them- I'm hoping this new dream doesn't become a staple of my dreamy state. At least the last one was kinda funny- this one was just concerning.

In my dream Hubs decides that he doesn't want to go with me to the ER (NOT acceptable!) so I asked my parents to go instead. Keep in mind my parents don't even know that we're starting another cycle right now- and my mother is WAY too high strung to be in attendance at my ER/ET- no way, no how. In addition to it being totally weird that my parents were there, I had the nurse from HELL. She knew absolutely nothing about the IVF process and didn't think it was a big deal that I had no idea how many eggs were collected. Then, although  I've done this before, I think that it would be important for them to go over the post-ER restrictions- they didn't agree. So weird.

I woke up this morning VERY thankful to be in my bed with my alarm buzzing on my nightstand. I know that none of those things would ever happen, but that doesn't mean it doesn't mess with my stress level a little bit.

In more exciting news... 8 more BCPs! I'm oddly excited to start injecting myself with lu.pron on Monday- I know that sounds odd, but I'm well aware how quickly things start moving at that point!!!

I have my annual tomorrow with the doctor we are hoping to use for OB care in the near future- I'm sure I'll be back here with an opinion mid-morning.... because, I always have an opinion!

Just for you, Megan!

I do keep my 'stirup socks' in this drawer too, so those are just a few options laying off to the side. On the top end is a big sharps container, then the ever lovely suppositories, foll.istim pen, men.opur, all of the IVF associated pills, the trigger shot, lu.pron, vitamins, and at the lower end are about a million syringes, needles, alcohol swabs, gauze pads... and maybe a pregnancy test or two. But, in my defense the HPTS are left over from the one I had to take before pro.vera in September.

So there you have it... a drawer full of drugs- try not to let it freak you out too much!

Another step closer...

Needles, syringes, suppositories, OH MY! 

They are here! I went and picked up a giant bag of fertility drugs today and got them all organized in my drug drawer. Is it weird that I have an entire drawer FILLED with IVF drugs? I did have a few odds and ends leftover from my last cycle, so it looks worse in there than it actually is... but still it is A LOT! Thankfully the cost of the drugs was pretty painless, which makes walking away with like 60 needles a little less breathtaking! 

The countdown is on.....

Start lu.pron in 12 days

Last BCP in 16 days

Suppression check in 21 days

Start stims in 24 days

oh.my.goodness

So yesterday afternoon I opened my mailbox to find a rather puffy package from a blogger friend of mine. She had asked for my address recently on a post about socks, so I figured I might find a pair of socks in my mailbox one of these days. Buuuuut, I was not prepared for what I found when I opened that squishy envelope. Lets just say, had I not used the restroom just before getting the mail, I may have had a problem.

I've followed Tiffany for a long time, and I've always thought gosh, I could totally be friends with her.... um, yes this much is true, we have the same sense of humor. 

When I pulled these gems out of the envelope and started cracking up I was instantly intrigued by that little red tag on the fur. Often these types of socks sing a song or something ubber annoying (which is totally right up my ally), but the tag on these was even better than a 'press here' tag. This tag reads 'faux fur', just in case you thought perhaps you were buying socks with real fur at Tar.get. Awesome!

I'm not sure if I have the guts to actually wear them outside of my house looking like I'm smuggling a doughnut around each leg under my pants, but I am pretty sure these will be present for all injections... how can I not smile when I look at these- not only because they are totally comical, but also because a nice blogger buddy thought to send them to me! 

Thanks again, Tiffany!!!

Whoa!

Oh.my.gosh.

So the other day my husband and I were talking about all of the medications I have taken in the effort to get pregnant. He said he wished I would have written it all down- I looked at him like he was crazy and said 'I have!' So he asked me to put it all in one place so we could keep track, just for kicks. Um, its NUTS!

I of course have a list of ALL the meds I've taken, but for this I just focused on stimulation drugs and hormone supplements.

Without further ado, after 6 unmonitored clomid cycles, 6 IUI cycles and 1 IVF cycle...

Progesterone (pro.metrium, caps, endo.metrin) -- 18,600mg

Clo.mid -- 5,000mg

Fo.llistim -- 2,850iu

Men.opur -- 825iu

Lu.pron -- 175iu

Es.trace -- 70mg

Hcg (Ovi.drel, Nov.arel) -- 11,500iu

Just just so you know... that breaks down like this-
159 pills swallowed
78 injections- thankfully only 12 of those were in my rear!
111 suppositories inserted

... and that doesn't count 3 years worth of pre-natal vitamins, one year of met.formin 3x per day, antibiotics or steroids- that would add over 2,300 pills swallowed. This from the girl who took baby Tylenol through college because I could not swallow a pill. Oh, the lessons we learn!

Wowsers... that is A LOT! Lets hope there is only ONE more cycle to add to this list!

O-V-E-R

Injections are over! The trigger last night wasn't too bad, a little stingy going in, but I couldn't help but be SO happy it was the LAST needle going into my hip.

I'm feeling good this morning. I've been drinking a boat load of powerade and trying to get a few things to done this morning before tomorrow's retrieval. I am hopeful things wont get ugly- I really don't want to freeze everything and wait for an FET.

Come on 5dt!!!!