Too Fast!

Well hello there! Holy cow the weeks of this summer are sliiiiippppping away from me! I feel like summer got off to kind of a slow start and now we're just two weeks away from my itty bitty tiny (not really anymore) babies turning TWO!

This birthday snuck up on me, BIG TIME! We've had a theme in mind for months, and the pinterest planning is done, but the actual execution-- L.A.T.E! I had been thinking about invitations and knowing it needed to happen soon, but soon kinda passed me by and NOW arrived! We ended up using evite (not my favorite, I REALLY like paper invitations) and they turned out really cute. Since I couldn't find a free invitation that met our theme I ended up choosing one of their premium options and paid the $4 for it. Still incredibly cheap when the alterative  would have  run us several times that price and would have taken a few more days to arrive at our guests doorsteps-- time was running out!

I'm planning to get lots of shots of the details of the party and in a couple of weeks you'll be able to get a glimpse of our little pilots' birthday bash! So far, the door wreath is complete, the  plans for  the shirts  I'm making are underway, the menu is generally planned, now we just need to finish up a bunch of crafty projects and then we'll be on our way. Did I mention their party  is two week from tomorrow? Yeah. I may be dreaming with  that pinterest inspiration board... but, I work well under pressure so we'll see how much I manage to get done!

Aside from birthday party planning I'm registration planning for our local MOP.S group. I'm in charge of registration and let me just tell you-- I have Be You Brave.ly stuff and feathers ALL over the play room. Poor little boys have had their play room commandeered until registration and birthday party crafting is complete! Both events are in the same week, so  hopefully both go off without a hitch!

Advent

I think I've mentioned before that we've been looking -- if you can even call it that-- for a church. It's hard with two babies, and we've been making excuse after excuse about why we can't make it work each week. Bottom line, our boys still nap twice a day- they NEED that morning nap and it happens at about 10am, give or take. So either we have super fussy babies in an unfamiliar church/nursery while we look for a church, or we don't go. Generally we choose the latter.

I've been craving it though. Some connection,  some spiritual grounding, especially during the holidays. Advent is such a time of waiting and expectation- it seems so fitting for me, an infertile, to find hope in these days leading up to Christmas. If you're new to the party, I wrote this post a few years ago and it remains something I think about often. 

In an effort to get connected to advent I decided look for an advent devotional. I'm only a few days in,  and if  you're interested you'd only need to catch up a few days, but so far it has been so good. After each day's readings I think to myself- I need this today, right where I am, but gosh, how I NEEDED it a few years ago. 

It's called 'The Greatest Gift' unwrapping the full love story of Christmas- by Ann Voskamp.

Not to worry, I'm not getting compensated for this, I just felt like I should pass the info along to all of you, especially those of you in a waiting period. It's good stuff. 

A special day...

Two years ago, on the day after Thanksgiving, just before I headed out with my family to do some black Friday shopping, hubs gave me my first stimulation  injection to kick off the cycle in which we made our boys! Though today isn't the same 'date' and isn't exactly two years later.... the day after Thanksgiving will always be the day we started making the babies who made me a mama!

I've always loved this day. Now, I just love it even more!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

I hope you are all having a fantastic day and finding something to be thankful for on this day. Today I'm thankful for two of the sweetest little one year olds in the world, and for the hope I was able to cling to two years ago on this day. Two years ago, I was one day away from starting stims for the cycle in which I conceived our boys. I am so grateful for the opportunity we had to pursue treatments and for the science and doctors that brought us our boys!

Packing up

It is holiday travel season, and traveling with kids is HARD work! While hard, it is totally doable with a little extra preparing. For us, making a list is key, and thinking of each part of our day while we are away is a big deal. I find that if we can keep up with our routine as much as possible it makes our days and more importantly nights, easier. Not to mention the transition back home again. So, here is a bit of our list for our boys at 15m.

• Pack-n-play -- the place we are staying already has one crib for the other boy.
• Lovies and lollies-- don't cross my babies at bedtime.
• A portable highchair-- both homes we will be eating meals in has either one or two high chairs so our portable will supplement.
• TOYS! One home has an insane amount of toys, the other has just a few, so we will take a good sized basket of favorites with us.
• Food. We'll pick this up when we arrive, but it is so important to have things the boys will eat. When you're away from home, so much is already different, food can be one thing that stays consistent.
• Obviously clothing and shoes.
• Medications and a thermometer. Nothing is worse than thinking your kid feels hot when you're out of town and having to run to Walgreens in the middle of the night!
• Any and all of the things that help your kiddo sleep. For us that means music and the firm little pillow H uses at night.

Most importantly take your camera or phone and snap some pictures of family and friends loving on your babies!

Baby Art

I just about let a day slip through the cracks. Good thing I didn't hop into bed the second I put the boys down tonight like I often do, thank goodness for DVR'd episodes of Dexter!

I have a random question, and because I know some of you mamas of littles have a pinterest 'problem' I hope one of you has an answer for me!

We're going to an event this week where each of the boys will get to make a tile with their handprint. The only handprint thing we've done is me tracing the outside of their hands. So, veteran paint hand printers... what is the trick? IS there a trick, or are we destined to have two fist prints this year?!?

A Tall Order...

2013 has a though act to follow as 2012 was far and away the best year of my life. Here's a little year in review:

January:
We rang in the new year knowing we were expecting, and I was feeling pretty certain it was twins. Just a few days later my suspicions were confirmed- TWINS!! This was also the month we graduated from our RE after a 17 month relationship with her.

February:
We saw the OB for the first time and decided to see her only until about 28 weeks when we'd transfer to a doctor in the same health system who would deliver at the hospital we had chosen just incase our boys needed a nicu.

March:
We had our first real ultrasound with the OB. We found out that baby A was most certainly a boy, and baby B was most likely a boy! Holy cow, two baby boys!

April:
We started the month off finding out we were for sure having two boys and they received their names. We weren't sure who was who yet, but the names were set!! I was diagnosed with slight placenta previa, but was told it would most likely move before delivery if I was considering a vaginal birth- which I was at that point.

May:
We had two ultrasounds in may both showing healthy baby boys and the placenta issue had already resolved. In may I passed my glucose test which was a bit unexpected and also had a spotting scare. Thankfully, it was nothing and we spent the weekend with family celebrating our boys at our first baby shower!!

June:
We met our delivering doctor for the first and second time and really liked him. I celebrated my 29th and final birthday without children.

July:
I had a few more OB appointments and determine after a couple of ultrasound a c-section is the way to go for a variety of reasons. We schedule the boys' birthday- weird feeling! We celebrate our 6th anniversary.

August:
We had a couple of appointments and thought we may be having the boys a little early because of slightly elevated BP and a wacky urine sample, but when rechecked the following day, everything was just fine and we ultimately made it to our scheduled c-section at 38w2d. Bright and early on a Wednesday morning I gave birth to two perfect baby boys weighing in at 7lbs 11oz and 6lbs 5oz. -- that is FOURTEEN pounds of baby and over 1/4 of the weight I gained.
We spent the final two weeks of this month getting to know our boys and not sleeping much! It was the absolute best month of my entire life.

September:
Hubs took the remainder of his paternity leave and we kept learning everyday how to take care of two babies! Each day got a little easier.This month we had some weight checks for our boys who ended up being a bit on the small/ slow grower side after they were born. We started supplementing with more formula and we saw not huge but adequate gain from both boys. I had my first bout of mastitis- horrible!

October:
We took our first overnight out of town trip! It took a week to pack and prepare, but the boys did awesome- slept the whole car ride and did great at night too! We celebrated their first holiday- Halloween at Hub's office party. I had what I thought was the beginning of mastitis again, but it ended up being an easier fix with some Rx nipple cream.

November:
The boys started sleeping more at night and so did we! We went out of town for five days for Thanksgiving and it went really well. We also celebrated the boys with a baby shower with hubs' side of the family. We got so many great gifts for the boys and many, many books instead of cards.

December:
It was just a great ending to the absolute best year of my life. We started Christmas traditions with the boys, celebrated with family and looked back at what we were doing a year previous- finding out we were pregnant, sharing the news with our families, etc.

I know it isn't for everyone, but I can very honestly say I would live 2012 over and over again given the chance. It has been the sweetest season of life so far. Pregnancy and the first months of motherhood have been nothing short of magical. Sure it's what I've hoped and prayed would come, but I always worried it wouldn't be as perfect as I'd hoped. The good news is, it was and is even better. The fight was absolutely, without a doubt worth it.... A million times over.

So, here's to 2013- a year I hope will surpass the last, but I won't hold my breath, 2012 is a tough act to follow!

A slightly less sunshine and unicorns post coming soon- While I absolutely L-O-V-E my life right now, being a mom of infant twins is REALLY hard some days!

Growing-ish...

We had our 4 month well baby appointment yesterday, and while both boys are both healthy, only one of them is putting on weight the way he should be.

H (baby A) has always been our bigger boy. He came out weighing 7lbs 11oz as a twin... that is on the hefty side for sure. He then lost a fair amount of weight before we got to come home and was kind of slow to put it back on. He now, at four months, weighs in at 13lbs 3 oz. He still hasn't doubled his birth weight, but I think he will before our next appointment at 6 months! He currently sits in the 15th percentile for weight and the 77th for height at almost 26 inches long. Even though he is still a bit on the skinny side he feels HUGE to us compared to his tiny brother!

A (baby B) is our tiny guy, always has been, likely always will be. After yesterday's appointment he has won himself a return trip to the doctor for a weight check in three weeks. We're starting some reflux medication twice a day, and hopefully that will give him a nudge to gain a little weight. As it stands right now, he weighs 10lbs 15oz and is in the 1st percentile. He is maintaining his growth pattern in height (15th percentile at 24 inches) and head circumference (16.5 inches and 38th percentile) so the doctor isn't too concerned, but we'd all like to see him beef up a little.

Otherwise our appointment was uneventful. The boys each had their belly buttons cleaned out a bit- both had some residual scabbing way down deep from when they were born so their doctor got after it with several q-tips, a tongue depressor and some cleanser.... good as new! They both also had two shots one was three mixed together and also an oral gel. They did fairly well at the doctor's office and calmed down within about 5 minutes. The afternoon however was not super fun. Hubs wasn't able to come home after the appointment like he had the last time they had shots and I was WISHING he had! There were two fussy, cranky tired boys who both wanted their mama at the same time. Poor guys!

Hopefully they will be in better moods today- I have some cleaning to get done before we have holiday visitors over the weekend. I am ready for Friday to get here- then we have hubs home for 11 days! Time for mama to have a little break!

Thought Vomit...

• Life with twins in exhausting, in the absolute best way. 
• We are a traveling freak show. So much so, that when I go out and don't get stopped by at least three people I start to feel odd. 
• Watching my husband interact with our boys is one of my favorite things. 
• We know we want another baby, and I am absolutely terrified it wont happen. I think we're leaning toward not doing another fresh cycle for several reasons that I might share more about in another post someday, so its up to three frozen embryos, a spontaneous pregnancy or a change of heart about another fresh cycle waaaay down the road. 
• Laundry. There is A LOT of it. 
• Ever since the boys started sleeping through the night and dropped a feeding I've needed to be a lot more careful about what I eat. Gone are the days of this nursing mama eating anything and everything she wants!
• The boys are both drooling a TON, and constantly have their hands in their mouths. I am afraid for my nipples. 
• Once the boys started sleeping through the night it became very difficult to wake up with one of them in the wee morning hours. On the nights it happens I find it much harder than it was when they were tiny newborns-  I guess its because back then I expected it. 
• One week until Christmas. We just ordered our Christmas cards. Whoops!
• I think we're going to transition the boys from the co-sleeper (its a mini) into one of their cribs in our room this weekend. I have a feeling there isn't going to be a whole lot of sleep going on... for any of us!
• We are working on changing our spare room/office over to a playroom for the boys. It will be really nice to have a space to keep some of the larger toys. 
• My hair is falling out like crazy. We figured out my thyroid was way off which could be a contributor, or it may just be postpartum hair loss.... either way, no thank you. 
• I really need to sew some stockings for the boys....again, Christmas is in ONE WEEK.
• We've traveled for Christmas every year we've been married. This year we are not making the 2 hour drive. It will be just the four of us, and I'm looking forward to the nice relaxing holiday. Hubs is taking the whole week off, so we will have daddy home for a nice chunk of time!
• The boys take 4 or 5 one hour naps per day.. I can't wait until we can drop a couple of those and make a couple of the others LONGER! It is so hard to get things done!
• I would not change a single thing about my life right now. I am so deliriously happy- it makes me realize just how unhappy I was in the years we were struggling to get pregnant. 

The Haps...

It seems crazy to me that I haven't been back to write in this space for almost an entire month. Writing here used to be so therapeutic for me. I wish I could make it a priority now, but it seems like there are just too many things on that list right now. I think one day soon I'll find myself in a different stage of motherhood, allowing for a TINY bit more time for things like blogging... at least I hope so :)

In the meantime here is a short list of what has been happening...

• I had mastitis at the end of September- OMG, that business is PAINFUL!
• The boys started sleeping a little longer at night in October. We are no longer waking them to eat at night, but we still are waking up every 4-5 hours to eat. 
• We had a 2 month well baby visit and the boys are GROWING! At 9 weeks H was 10.3lbs and A was 8.11. They are still a little small percentile-wise, but to me H seems HUGE!
• A & H took their vaccines like champs and had very minimal discomfort afterward. In fact A was happier than his normal self...weird!
• We took our first out of town overnight trip to visit our families. It went really well. The best part was two hours in the car each way of SILENCE!
• Both boys have a new love for the swing. It is seriously magical and we've borrowed a second swing so both can swing at the same time! It has the same effect as their car seats- instant sleep!
• We had two little animals for Halloween- a giraffe and a cow. They were pretty darn cute at Daddy's office party!
• Speaking of Halloween, we spent a chunk of time at the OB's office that day. I was having HORRIBLE breast pain, but I didn't have all the symptoms I had with mastitis. It was determined I may have some sort of breast yeast infection, but I wasn't showing any symptoms except that nice razor blade pain while nursing. My doctor prescribed some AMAZING nipple cream ( same as Dr. Jack Newman APNO) and the pain subsided rather quickly thank goodness!
• I took a HUGE step and packed up the leftovers from our IVF cycle. They will soon be making their way to our RE's office for donation. Hubs was ready to do it a LONG time ago, but it wasn't until I had the boys that I was ready to give up the goods. We are fairly sure we'll do this all again, but it will NOT be happening before these expiration dates roll around!
• Packing for two babies is A LOT of work. I'm already getting things together for holiday travel. 
• I'm not a huge fan of the mini pill.... more on that another day. 

Easter

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter! Ours consisted of church (more on that later!), a waddle through the grocery store, a lavish (ha!) taco bell lunch in the sun, a traditional Easter dinner and the evening ended with me icing my crotch. Seriously. Ouch.

We've lived in this city for over two years now and have had every intention of finding a church, but never have. This morning we tried out a church. We arrived a little early and sat in a row by ourselves. Soon, a older woman came in next to us and struck up a conversation with us. She asked if we had children (this is the root of the reason I've been so reluctant to find a church) and I replied by saying "I'm pregnant with our first and second." It gave me an immense amount of joy to smile as I looked down at my belly and rubbed my baby boys. She asked if twins run our family and she also said "there are so many twins these days- I know a lot of them are those artificial ones. You know, like the ones the movie stars have." ha! The entire time hubs was squeezing my leg. In the past this conversation would have irritated me. Today, not an ounce of what she said to me mattered- I had two sweet baby boys in my belly kicking away.... That, and I'm pretty sure she just called me a movie star :)

Next up was a trip to the grocery store to prepare for an Easter dinner that we hadn't really planned on cooking for the two of us. I'm pretty sure the pregnancy waddle has begun. Everything in my pelvis is sore and this belly is starting to throw off my center of gravity. After grabbing everything we needed for dinner, we decided there was no way we would able to be able to wait a couple of hours to eat while everything cooked, so we decided on taco bell for lunch... a new Easter tradition in the making? Probably not.

And finally, my evening ended laying on the couch with an ice pack on my lady bits. Yes, that is how sore that area is. It is excruciating pain when I change positions in bed at night, get up from a sitting or laying position or walk farther than about 20 feet. As sore and uncomfortable as I am, I'd do it for 40 more weeks if I knew that my babies were safe and growing in there... thankfully I only have a maximum of 20 more to go!

To to sum up the day... my babies are 'artificial', I'm a movie star, taco bell is an appropriate holiday meal and nothing ends an evening like icing your crotch.

The best laid plans...

I just realized that I never told you guys the story of how we told our families over Christmas. It was a comedy of errors really....

Both of our families always want to take a family photo sometime over the holiday, so we thought this would be the ideal time to break the news and get a fun memento of their reactions. Ha. 

First up was my family. We all gathered in front of the Christmas tree, just the members of my immediate family that were in attendance. Hubs got the camera all set up and we took a couple of pictures. I think he got a little nervous and ended up saying 'oh this one is good' and was ready to be done. I obviously objected and said lets do one more just in case and gave him 'the look.' With the next photo he ran, got into the picture and said 'W&W is pregnant!!' Well, that isn't totally true, he used my actual name, but you get the picture. The photo.... a bunch of blank stares. No smiles, no surprised faces, no screams. They all thought that Hubs was about to be killed. They thought he was kidding and I was about go after him. Yeah, like after all we've been through, which they are well aware of, I'm sure my husband would be dumb enough to JOKE about me being pregnant. 

Needless to say, we were a little disappointed, but it is one thing they will NEVER live down.

And a couple days later we did it all again thinking for sure my husbands family wouldn't peg him for the idiot my family obviously thought he was. Turns out, we were wrong. Same picture. No reaction... like zero, zilch. 

Yes, both families were very excited once they realized that this was for real, but our picture plan crashed and burned. Well, it failed in the sense that we don't have a picture of them screaming with surprise and excitement, we do however have two fairly funny pictures that we will love to show our kid/kids someday showing them just how excited their family was about the news of their arrival. Ha! 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

We're celebrating the holiday with some super fun news to share with our immediate families. I'll be sure to share all about it once the weekend is over. 

I hope that you all are enjoying the weekend and have managed to find at least a little holiday cheer this season!!

2dp5dt

A few random things...

• My two days of bed rest are O.V.E.R. but I've been taking it pretty easy today. I've spent a good chunk of time on the couch, but it felt SO good to be able to get up and make my own lunch. 
• Progesterone suppositories are gross. 
• I still have 3 Christmas gifts to buy... the same 3 I've had left for the last 4+ weeks. My husband's family is IMPOSSIBLE to buy for!
• Pinterest has been my saving grace through bed rest. 
• My husband cannot get home soon enough today! Am finally allowed to shower today, but last time I got super dizzy in my first shower after ET, so I'm waiting until he gets home. 
• I'm feeling good about this cycle. That was shaken a little yesterday when there was only one freezable embryo- but I'm feeling better, more confident today. 
• My beta is one week from today. 
• We're having dinner with friends on Friday night- I'm looking forward to doing something that does not revolve around IVF. 
• Here are my socks from the transfer....

Dull...

You know what's rad? Dull needles.

The past TWO mornings poor hubs has tried to give me my IM menopur injection and the needle wouldn't go in with his normal pressure. This in turn freaks him out a little and we have to change the needle and go through the build up again. Both mornings we've managed, but seriously- not an enjoyable experience!

I'm crossing my little fingers that tomorrow will be trigger day. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll be back on Monday for one last look and triggering orders, but a girl can wish, right? Grow, follies, grow... I am ready to be DONE with the needles!!!!

My energy level is pretty much non-existent. I got in my bed last night about 7:30 and read until I had to take a pill at 9 and then promptly fell asleep and slept soundly until 6 this morning when it was time for another injection. I'm not sure if it is from the meds, or my lack of exercise, but it is killing me.

This weekend it's time to get organized for some lazy days ahead... Cleaning, ironing and maybe a couple of make ahead meals. I still haven't finished decorating for Christmas, and I'm on the fence about finishing. As of now we have a couple things up in addition to our Christmas tree. The thought of getting everything else out seems a little daunting 9 days into stims, knowing that we won't be having anyone into our home between now and Christmas makes it all seem silly. Thoughts?

So much to say...

I have approximately one million things to say, so here they are in no particular order....

Today is stim day four. I'm starting to feel bloated and sore-ish. And the bruises- they're annoying!

We cut down our christmas tree over the weekend- hopefully I'll have it decorated by the end of the day.

I had lunch with E today- I'm already totally bummed that she is moving away next year!

Monitoring appointment #1 was today. It looks like we have about 20 possible contenders. The largest was about 9mm and my lining was 5.5 with a triple stripe. So far so good! I heard back from the nurse after my blood work came back. She said the levels looked great, so we're keeping at the same dose (1 vial menopur and 150iu of foll.istim). I'm back in the office Wednesday and Friday for ultrasounds and blood work.

I think I missed the boat on exercise during stims. I was hoping to make a couple more trips to the gym, but I have a feeling that ship has sailed.

We bought a fraction of a cow... I'm a recovering vegetarian. In a typical week we eat beef maybe once or twice. I have a feeling that is about to change. What exactly is a person supposed to do with cube steak?

I hate it when there isn't enough left in your foll.istim cartridge for your whole dose. Two pokes=two bruises. Lame.

When I arrived home from our thanksgiving travels I had a package waiting on my doorstep from Janet! She sent me some seriously rad socks and her favorite book! What a fun and thoughtful little surprise! Thanks, Janet!!!!

I've started drinking Gatorade to combat the bloat, so far it is not that bad. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune a couple weeks from now. So far light blue and red are winners.

I got to snuggle with my nephews over the holiday- I love those boys!!!

I didn't witness a single black Friday fight! I did manage to find some good deals, but I didn't buy a single thing for anyone other than us. I scored some new sheets, jeans and a movie. I'm saving the nice new sheets for bed rest!

We managed the injection without letting on what we were up to. We just decided to take it early (5am) before I had to meet up with my Mom and SILs for shopping at 530. Since then, we've slowly pushed the time later and now we're up to our usual morning injection time of 6am.

Here's a picture of today's socks:

I got the results back from the pap with my new OB/gyn- everything is normal in there. Well,at least as far as that us concerned.

I had a dream over the weekend that I gave birth to a baby girl. She was perfect in every way, even if she was 27 inches long at birth!

I take it back...

Uhhh, guess who spoke too soon? My nurse called this afternoon I'm starting stims on Friday instead of Saturday. Which in the long run could be great news (I'll explain when I'm not typing on my phone) but for now, it really eff's with my black Friday mojo.

I'm sure I'll figure something out. How exactly do I explain needing to see my husband privately for 10 minutes at 6:30am when no one knows we're doing IVF? I'll let you know what I come up with!

Suppressed!

I had my suppression check this morning with one of the other doctors in the practice. I saw him several times while my doctor was on maternity leave last spring and we had a few comical run ins-  here and here. Thankfully nothing crazy happened today, just an ultrasound that showed suppressed ovaries and follies that were begging to be stimulated. Or something like that.

My ovaries looked a little different today- dare I say less PCOS-y than usual?!? There were about 9 follies on each side that were measuring somewhere in the realm of 6-7.5mm. My lining was 3mm. As I was writing this, the nurse called and said my E2 was nice and low at 32. So over all, there look to be fewer follicles from the start this time. But, I also know that my doctor counts ALL of the follicles at the suppression check and I'm not sure the doctor I saw today was counting the tiny ones. Either way, there are plenty!

Once all was said and done, ultrasound...blood draw...tats drawn on my hips, I had the pleasure of racking up some airline miles for what will surely be a baby-moon in the near future. And by this, I mean I paid for our cycle. And it was painful.

We're still set to start stims on Saturday morning, because it would be un-holy to make me rearrange my Black Friday shopping plans for something silly like a needle being shoved into my hip. This my friends, is why I LOVE my nurse!

Are you getting up at the crack of dawn and shopping on Friday? I'm waiting to hear my SIL's plan of attack and I'm kind of crossing my fingers that it doesn't start at midnight! Though, nothing says holiday cheer like watching a couple of women fight over a pillow pet  in the wee morning hours. I'm sure I'll be back with stories!


3 days until we start stims.
5 days until my first monitoring appointment!

I have a picture of my socks today but I can't seem to get it to upload... maybe I can share it over the weekend!

Rolling...

I feel like its been days since I was here unloading my thoughts, feelings, and general observations out onto the internet. Blogging used to be such a release for me- a way to work through all of the thoughts/feelings/discomfort I was facing. Lately there just hasn't been much to unload. I suppose that is a good thing.

Life has just been rolling along. There has been some baby gift sewing, Christmas gift brainstorming, lots of trips to the gym, a fair amount of Christmas music, pinterest obsessing and IVF preparing.... and by IVF preparing, I mean supporting my sock habit, and purchasing ample amounts of Gatorade.

 I'm sure there will be more to say in the coming days... here's whats on the horizon-

• Friday: Annual Exam with new OB/GYN
• Saturday: Christmas shopping extravaganza with Hubs! It's our goal to be mostly done with our shopping by the time we start stims two days after Thanksgiving.
• Sunday: A few projects at home.
• Monday: The calendar begins- lupron, doxy, and dex.
• Next Friday: Last BCP
• Following Wednesday: Suppression Check

Life is about to get A LOT more interesting... and BUSY! Here we go!!!

White Lies...

As you all know, when we started the IVF process we shared our journey with our parents. We told them about the struggles we'd already faced, and what was ahead of us. For the most part it was a good thing. It was nice to know that we'd never have to hear things like "when are you going to start a family" ever again, and for only that, it was worth it. However, something about sharing every intimate piece of that process didn't ever sit all that well with me. I never really felt like they cared enough to plug those three little letters into google and figure out just exactly what we were facing. It hurt my feelings that they didn't know how to care and be supportive in the ways that I wanted and needed. And to me, that wasn't something that I needed to teach them while I was just trying to keep my head above water.

When we found out that our cycle was likely going to collide with Thanksgiving we each made comments to our families about perhaps not being at the festivities. To both we made it clear that it had to do with trying again. I didn't love the idea of sharing this information, but it seemed necessary. Now that we have our calendar, and know that I'm not going to be on bed rest over the holiday we've told our parents that we'll be around for Thanksgiving. We also told them that we've "pushed things out" and are taking a little break. 

True, we are taking a little break.... a little over seven weeks until we start stims, and the ER/ET that we thought might interfere with Thanksgiving will be pushed back by about a week or two. 

We also aren't sure what we are going to do at the end of this cycle. If we'll share the good news right away (power of positive thinking!!) or if we'll keep it to ourselves a little longer this time. Either way, we want to make the choice when the time comes and not feel like we need to share because our families are waiting. 

So, at this point you all are the only people who know, and I'm pretty sure that is how it is going to remain. I don't think I'm going to share it with any of my girlfriends either. I figure the process will be a lot easier this time. I know what to expect. I know the process. Now it will just be a matter of navigating it all and staying hopeful that our outcome will be a healthy pregnancy and a sweet baby or two!