A few things...

I don't have much to say, so I thought I would just give a bullet point update from CD11 of a natural cycle....

• The hubs is going to be out of town for what will possibly be peak ovulation time... if I ovulate on my own this cycle. Oh-well.


• I managed to make it through the baby shower over the weekend. The guest of honor was kind of on my sh*% list before the shower, but that is a another post for another day.


• We sent a second email to our parents. It had been about a month since the first, and we felt like we should update them on the final failed IUI and that we are moving on to IVF soon.


• Two weeks until our IVF consult. This will also be my first appointment with my RE when she is NOT pregnant!


• I found out my sister-in-law is having a shower for baby #2. Although I really am happy for her and my brother, I am NOT really happy to be attending another baby shower which will be out of state AND on Mother's Day weekend. Lord help me.


• My best friend ended up ditching her duties helping get ready for the baby shower on Saturday, and instead she joined me for a wonderful pedicure and a nice long talk over lunch. I REALLY needed that.


• I've been very surprised that my in-law's response to all things IF, and have felt more supported by them than my own parents. I was super worried about it, and it has proven to be great.


• Every time I get in the car a super inspiring song comes on the radio. I am loving it!


• Not taking fertility drugs is amazing :)


• I love being able to go to the gym and do whatever I want without worrying about my growing ovaries!


• I am meeting a fellow IF blogger at the end of the week!


• My insurance company makes me CRAZY!

HA!

You know you've been trying to get pregnant for WAAAAYY too long when you find a coupon for pregnancy tests in your purse that EXPIRED last year! Awesome.

Skipping The Weekend...

I know it is an odd request, but I'm wondering if we could just skip the upcoming weekend and move right through to the following week? Whats that, you'd like to keep your weekend? Well, I guess if your going to be picky, maybe we could just skip Saturday.

If you hadn't already guessed, I have a baby shower to attend on Saturday afternoon. While I am extremely happy for the mama-to-be, I can't help but despise the idea of going and sitting in a room FULL of pregnant women ogling over tiny baby clothes. Unfortunately the shower had to fall 2 weeks after our final failed iui cycle. It would have been worlds easier to attend if I were still feeling hopeful in the 2ww, but why would things start going my way now?!?!

I think the part I hate the most is that I was asked to co-host this shower shortly after the pregnancy was announced early last fall. I confided in one of the other hosts that it would just be too difficult if I still wasn't pregnant and facing fertility treatments to make cute decorations and come up with fun party games. I had it all counted out and I knew when our last IUI would be approximately. I knew if those didn't work, that around this time we'd be moving on to IVF. Deep down I think I knew then that this is where we'd be. Maybe I jinxed myself!

Perhaps I deserve a pedicure on Saturday morning. You know, to relax a bit before heading into the lion's den. Too bad the majority of my friends are co-hosting the shower and will be together preparing for the big event. For some reason pedi's are always better when shared with a friend.

Ok, enough is enough. This pity party is O-V-E-R! I have 4.5 days to suck it up. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!

Twisted...

Is it sick at twisted that while I'm not even pregnant with our first baby I am already kind of freaking out about getting pregnant with the next one? My husband and I have agreed that if we get pregnant with twins when we do IVF, we will probably not ever seek fertility treatments again. The probability of us having twins is pretty stinking high, but part of me gets sick to my stomach thinking about the possibility of doing this all over again. On the upside, at least I'd know what to expect.. you know, like 6 failed iuis. Is this normal? Those of you who would like for this elusive pregnancy not to be the ONE and ONLY, are you already worrying about subsequent possible pregnancies?!?

HELP ME!!!!

Who wants to tell me how to center the banner at the top of the page??? It is seriously killing me!

Blessings...

Everyday I receive an email from an organization called Sarah's Laughter. Sarah's Laughter in a christian group that supports women facing infertility and child loss. Some days I read the daily email, and some days they get slipped into a folder in my inbox and saved for a rainy day. Yesterday's email shared a couple of songs that have helped women through this difficult time facing infertility and I thought I would share of them with you today as well as the artist's story behind the song. I think she is right... we are being blessed in the midst of this pain and suffering.

3.5 Weeks...

I set up our IVF consultation appointment yesterday. In three and a half weeks, we will sit down with our doctor (she'll be back from maternity leave!!!!) and find out what is ahead of us. I've already read the folder of information because my favorite nurse slipped it to me during our last IUI cycle. So, I am feeling pretty knowledgeable about what is about to happen, but I'm sure I will have a few questions about what is coming. For me, making the appointment was one of the most difficult parts. It was like really admitting that we are not going to make a baby on our own. Through all of our IUI cycles, I always felt like if we got pregnant I wouldn't ever be able to say for sure if it was the actual IUI or the prescribed "covering your bases" sex that came after. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problem with our baby/ies getting its/their start in a petri dish, I have grieved that loss. It is the admitting, out loud, to a person (the scheduler) other than my husband that IVF really is what is next. It just got a little more real. The packet has been read. The appointment is set. This is happening. Soon.