Baby #3... This is not an announcement!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I feel 100% crazy for thinking about baby #3 as much as I do. Like for serious.

I was talking with a group of women the other day, and was talking about the stack of totes sitting in our bedroom waiting to be put in the attic. There are six totes full of the first year of clothing that we are keeping. That, and a breast pump, a nursing pillow and a pile of clothing that needs to be sorted into the tubs or put in yet another.  I joked that they'd likely still be sitting there when we had another baby. It was a joke, but with how slowly those types of projects happen around here... It isn't totally out if the question.  Which, somehow thrills me.

I have a very odd sense of hope about getting pregnant again. Don't be fooled, I'm not thinking it's going to happen naturally, in fact, that probably will not be a possibility as I plan to stay on birth control until our FET. But I have a calm about it all, like its going to happen and I don't need to worry about the 'what if??' I cannot tell you how happy I am about this. I didnt realize until I was pregnant just how depressed I was when we were trying to get pregnant the first time. I have no desire to go there again, and certainly no desire for my boys to see me at that type of low.

I think we've settled on a year from now- that's when we'll start really pursuing an FET and all that it entails. I'm sure there will be tests that need to be updated and some other things that will need addressing. In the meantime, we will be enjoying everyday with our sweet boys and soaking in our time with the two of them. I'll be working toward getting as healthy as possible in preparation for another complication free pregnancy.

Life Lessons from Tiny Humans...

There are millions of things to do in a day. Big, small, important, unnecessary. You get the idea.

Life with a baby, let alone twins, is hard work. There are diapers to change, meals to feed, nursing to do, bottles to wash, laundry, food scraps to sweep up, tummy time to supervise, sleepy babies to rock, dishes to do, meals to make... and those, for the most part are just the things on the must do list. Its hard and its rewarding. Its the best job I've ever had, but it is also overwhelming (especially at first) and exhausting.

I'm not saying this to complain. Not even a little.

I'm saying this to explain: there is a lot to do BUT, its ok if you aren't perfect. Because you are perfect in your baby's eyes. You are their everything. And I promise, they will not notice if your sink is full of dishes or your bathroom needs a good scrub down, they likely wont notice if your hair is a wreck or if you didn't brush your teeth this morning.

It wasn't until a few weeks into my new role as a mama of twins that I realized it. I can't do it all. And further more, I don't care. I am much more interested in being with my boys. Watching them learn to climb, discover new things, mimic things I model. Sure, I could get more done on my days at home, but I've resigned myself to the fact that my house just isn't going to be picture perfect anymore (unless we are expecting company), at least not for a few more years.

When I wake up in the night and nearly break my neck on some toy with wheels that was left in the hallway the night before, I thank God. I smile and pretty often my eyes get a little wet as I walk into the nursery to calm an upset baby. Because I have babies. Something I spent a long time wondering if I'd ever say.

Those babies, I love them to pieces. They've taught me what is important. They taught me to hold on to the very few things that are important to me, and let the other stuff slide.

Life, surprising as this may seem, is simpler now. We added two babies to our family and somehow, unexplainably so, I find life so much simpler and certainly sweeter.

Baby Art

I just about let a day slip through the cracks. Good thing I didn't hop into bed the second I put the boys down tonight like I often do, thank goodness for DVR'd episodes of Dexter!

I have a random question, and because I know some of you mamas of littles have a pinterest 'problem' I hope one of you has an answer for me!

We're going to an event this week where each of the boys will get to make a tile with their handprint. The only handprint thing we've done is me tracing the outside of their hands. So, veteran paint hand printers... what is the trick? IS there a trick, or are we destined to have two fist prints this year?!?

Meal Ideas??

So, as I said a few days ago- I am trying to lose a bit of weight and get more healthy. In the quest for this, I've found eating breakfast- and a relatively big one- really, really helps! Most days I have one egg, two links of turkey sausage and a piece of double fiber wheat toast. It works for me. I feel pretty stinking full most of the morning because it has a good amount of protein. I've found many other breakfast options with a similar number of calories but not as much protein leave me looking for a snack during naptime. While I'm not opposed to a snack, often it isn't something healthy that sounds good-- chocolate chips, anyone?!

For lunch I rotate between a few options, but I haven't found anything I really am set on yet. I'm the kind of person who could easily eat the exact same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day if I like it. So, ideas welcome- I'd love to find something I like and just eat it everyday, it would make my life so much easier!

As for dinners, this is where I like my variety, and its a good thing because hubs would not be pleased if I made him eat the same things over and over and over! I generally try to leave a decent amount of calories for dinner because then we have more options, but we also are trying to get into a better habit of feeding the boys what we are eating so that means having yummy salads every night isn't totally feasible for us right now. I need some healthy ideas that may also be somewhat kid friendly.... anyone?!?

In general I'm steering clear of buying snack type foods and opting instead for apples, cheese and relatively healthy granola bars. My very favorite snack lately is stove popped popcorn made with coconut oil. It needs nothing more than some sea salt when it comes off the stove and we LOVE it. Hubs and I have recently started making a pot (1/4 of a cup un-popped to share) a few nights a week after the boys have gone to bed. We share it while we catch up on DVR'd shows or play a board game. It seems like a treat, even though it isn't too bad for you, especially when consumed with a HUGE glass of ice water-- or two!

So, what are your favorite healthy meals and snacks? I'd love to find a little variety!

HI!

Some of the littlest moments of motherhood are the best! This week I took the boys to the mall to wander and get out of the house on a rainy day. Since all of the children's departments seem to be on the upper floors of stores, we took several elevator rides. H has always had kind of an uneasy face when we travel in an elevator, but this day was different. He thought it was hilarious to shout HIIIIIIIIIII when the doors would open. It was too funny.

It is this simple little moments with my boys that I never want to forget!

A weighty post...

It's on. I've let it slide for far too long- the postpartum weight has got to go. Notice, I did not call it baby weight, that's because I lost all that. By about 4-6 weeks postpartum I'd lost all 40lbs I gained during my twin pregnancy, then in the coming weeks after starting the mini pill, seeing a decrease in my milk supply, and losing all my daytime help... I gained about 25lbs back. Yuck! That was not part of my plan. Not at all. And let me tell you, it is hard work to lose that weight with two tiny babies at home and not a lot of time to worry about what it is you're eating!

So, the time is now. I'm starting to think about my next pregnancy (even if its a year or more off) and what I want for my body before my new little bean is growing in there. I want to start that pregnancy at a significantly lower weight, I want my body to be more fit and healthy- I want to prepare myself for the biggest gift ever- pregnancy, birth and the blessing of patenting another little human :)

I'm trying to be more active with the boys on days we are at home. Dance parties, lots of 'I'm gunna get you games', making more trips that I need to with laundry and toys to put away. On days we go out I try to go places where we can do a good bit of walking. Then there is diet. At the moment I'm just using my fitness pal to track calories without paying too much attention to WHAT those calories are. I figure once I get into a good rhythm of recording and tracking I'll take on one meal at a time and try to make most of the calories-- though really, I think I already have breakfast and lunch pretty figured out. I just need to come up with more healthy dinner ideas and fight the urge to have hubs pick up dinner on his way home one those long busy days-- which are plentiful!

I've already lost 10 of those 25 postpartum pounds and I am REALLY looking forward to getting the rest OFF... for good! If I can keep up with what I've started, I'm projecting being back (again!) at my pre-pregnancy weight by sometime in January! And then, I the work continues-- until we're ready to transfer, I'll be working on getting myself as healthy as possible in preparation of hopefully carrying another easy, drama free pregnancy!

Preparing to jump... revisitied

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about the possibility of going off birth control in an effort to put in our 'one year of trying' so we'd line up with when we'd like to do an FET likely in early 2015.

There is big news on that front- our insurance requires no referral, or registering for infertility services. Our previous insurance required both a referral to an RE and we had to register as infertile with a specific branch of the company. At which time they asked and recorded all that we'd tried and we were cleared to see an RE. This is not the case with our new insurance. So, I am able to stay on birth control right up until we are ready to jump back in.

I am so glad it is working our this way for us. I was really worried about what my body would do without birth control. I'm not convinced met.formin would make me cycle regularly and I cannot imagine taking progesterone every couple of months with two one year olds at home- that stuff makes me SO TIRED!

So, now we don't really have to plan ahead. When we're ready, we make the appointment, and its GO TIME! If we keep with our current plan, that will be in about a year- crazy- and really exciting!