Wonderful, but not easy...

Generally speaking, our days run like a well oiled machine. The boys wake up sometime between 6 and 8 to breast feed (depending on if they woke in the night to eat) and after being nursed and changed they get swaddled back up and back into bed until sometime between 9 and 11. After that we are on a 3 to 4 hour rotation all.day.long. It is a delicate dance of nurse, bottle, diaper, play, nap... over and over. Once per day play is replaced by solid food-- which is a complete joke at this point and is really just learning to sit in a highchair and open their mouths for the spoon. On most days the boys are up for the day by 10ish in the morning and are in our bedroom for their final feeding of the night at 10pm.

It sounds easy enough, and in reality it is easy enough- unless someone throws a wrench in it. Things like doctor appointments, fussy babies, company or occasionally something as simple as the TV being on while I'm nursing. Generally we're quick to recover, but other times it can be an hour before everyone is calmed down and ready to move on to the next step of the dance. Take today for instance- H woke up from his nap a bit early and instead of having to keep in quiet until it was actually time to nurse I just sat down with  him and started nursing. On any other day, this would have been EXACTLY what he wanted... today, not so much. He proceeded to scream and then suck and whimper, then scream and arch his back, then suck for a few minutes. I had his bottle already prepared so I fixed my shirt and tried just giving him the bottle- also, not a winner. I tried changing his diaper- no dice. I even went to my typical last resort for these types of things- I turned Micky Mouse Clubhouse on... Still screaming. By now it was time to feed A, so I had to just allow H to scream and cry while I fed A.

(As a sidenote, I think this is one aspect of twin parenting that singleton parents really don't seem to understand. Imagine your absolute most frustrating moment with your infant and then keep in mind a twin parent likely has another baby to take care of at the same time. Sometimes that means remaining in the same room as one sleeping baby with your screaming second baby. Sometimes the sleeping baby doesn't wake-- other times he/she does and then guess what? you have TWO screaming babies who cannot be reasoned with. Cue a third crier.... Mama. )

I cannot say this is the norm at our house, but to say that everyday is a piece of cake, is just not being truthful. Days are trying and hard and exhausting AND wonderful. I say all of this to illustrate the point:  while  being a mama to twins is perfectly wonderful, it is far from perfectly easy!

A Tall Order...

2013 has a though act to follow as 2012 was far and away the best year of my life. Here's a little year in review:

January:
We rang in the new year knowing we were expecting, and I was feeling pretty certain it was twins. Just a few days later my suspicions were confirmed- TWINS!! This was also the month we graduated from our RE after a 17 month relationship with her.

February:
We saw the OB for the first time and decided to see her only until about 28 weeks when we'd transfer to a doctor in the same health system who would deliver at the hospital we had chosen just incase our boys needed a nicu.

March:
We had our first real ultrasound with the OB. We found out that baby A was most certainly a boy, and baby B was most likely a boy! Holy cow, two baby boys!

April:
We started the month off finding out we were for sure having two boys and they received their names. We weren't sure who was who yet, but the names were set!! I was diagnosed with slight placenta previa, but was told it would most likely move before delivery if I was considering a vaginal birth- which I was at that point.

May:
We had two ultrasounds in may both showing healthy baby boys and the placenta issue had already resolved. In may I passed my glucose test which was a bit unexpected and also had a spotting scare. Thankfully, it was nothing and we spent the weekend with family celebrating our boys at our first baby shower!!

June:
We met our delivering doctor for the first and second time and really liked him. I celebrated my 29th and final birthday without children.

July:
I had a few more OB appointments and determine after a couple of ultrasound a c-section is the way to go for a variety of reasons. We schedule the boys' birthday- weird feeling! We celebrate our 6th anniversary.

August:
We had a couple of appointments and thought we may be having the boys a little early because of slightly elevated BP and a wacky urine sample, but when rechecked the following day, everything was just fine and we ultimately made it to our scheduled c-section at 38w2d. Bright and early on a Wednesday morning I gave birth to two perfect baby boys weighing in at 7lbs 11oz and 6lbs 5oz. -- that is FOURTEEN pounds of baby and over 1/4 of the weight I gained.
We spent the final two weeks of this month getting to know our boys and not sleeping much! It was the absolute best month of my entire life.

September:
Hubs took the remainder of his paternity leave and we kept learning everyday how to take care of two babies! Each day got a little easier.This month we had some weight checks for our boys who ended up being a bit on the small/ slow grower side after they were born. We started supplementing with more formula and we saw not huge but adequate gain from both boys. I had my first bout of mastitis- horrible!

October:
We took our first overnight out of town trip! It took a week to pack and prepare, but the boys did awesome- slept the whole car ride and did great at night too! We celebrated their first holiday- Halloween at Hub's office party. I had what I thought was the beginning of mastitis again, but it ended up being an easier fix with some Rx nipple cream.

November:
The boys started sleeping more at night and so did we! We went out of town for five days for Thanksgiving and it went really well. We also celebrated the boys with a baby shower with hubs' side of the family. We got so many great gifts for the boys and many, many books instead of cards.

December:
It was just a great ending to the absolute best year of my life. We started Christmas traditions with the boys, celebrated with family and looked back at what we were doing a year previous- finding out we were pregnant, sharing the news with our families, etc.

I know it isn't for everyone, but I can very honestly say I would live 2012 over and over again given the chance. It has been the sweetest season of life so far. Pregnancy and the first months of motherhood have been nothing short of magical. Sure it's what I've hoped and prayed would come, but I always worried it wouldn't be as perfect as I'd hoped. The good news is, it was and is even better. The fight was absolutely, without a doubt worth it.... A million times over.

So, here's to 2013- a year I hope will surpass the last, but I won't hold my breath, 2012 is a tough act to follow!

A slightly less sunshine and unicorns post coming soon- While I absolutely L-O-V-E my life right now, being a mom of infant twins is REALLY hard some days!

Growing-ish...

We had our 4 month well baby appointment yesterday, and while both boys are both healthy, only one of them is putting on weight the way he should be.

H (baby A) has always been our bigger boy. He came out weighing 7lbs 11oz as a twin... that is on the hefty side for sure. He then lost a fair amount of weight before we got to come home and was kind of slow to put it back on. He now, at four months, weighs in at 13lbs 3 oz. He still hasn't doubled his birth weight, but I think he will before our next appointment at 6 months! He currently sits in the 15th percentile for weight and the 77th for height at almost 26 inches long. Even though he is still a bit on the skinny side he feels HUGE to us compared to his tiny brother!

A (baby B) is our tiny guy, always has been, likely always will be. After yesterday's appointment he has won himself a return trip to the doctor for a weight check in three weeks. We're starting some reflux medication twice a day, and hopefully that will give him a nudge to gain a little weight. As it stands right now, he weighs 10lbs 15oz and is in the 1st percentile. He is maintaining his growth pattern in height (15th percentile at 24 inches) and head circumference (16.5 inches and 38th percentile) so the doctor isn't too concerned, but we'd all like to see him beef up a little.

Otherwise our appointment was uneventful. The boys each had their belly buttons cleaned out a bit- both had some residual scabbing way down deep from when they were born so their doctor got after it with several q-tips, a tongue depressor and some cleanser.... good as new! They both also had two shots one was three mixed together and also an oral gel. They did fairly well at the doctor's office and calmed down within about 5 minutes. The afternoon however was not super fun. Hubs wasn't able to come home after the appointment like he had the last time they had shots and I was WISHING he had! There were two fussy, cranky tired boys who both wanted their mama at the same time. Poor guys!

Hopefully they will be in better moods today- I have some cleaning to get done before we have holiday visitors over the weekend. I am ready for Friday to get here- then we have hubs home for 11 days! Time for mama to have a little break!

Thought Vomit...

• Life with twins in exhausting, in the absolute best way. 
• We are a traveling freak show. So much so, that when I go out and don't get stopped by at least three people I start to feel odd. 
• Watching my husband interact with our boys is one of my favorite things. 
• We know we want another baby, and I am absolutely terrified it wont happen. I think we're leaning toward not doing another fresh cycle for several reasons that I might share more about in another post someday, so its up to three frozen embryos, a spontaneous pregnancy or a change of heart about another fresh cycle waaaay down the road. 
• Laundry. There is A LOT of it. 
• Ever since the boys started sleeping through the night and dropped a feeding I've needed to be a lot more careful about what I eat. Gone are the days of this nursing mama eating anything and everything she wants!
• The boys are both drooling a TON, and constantly have their hands in their mouths. I am afraid for my nipples. 
• Once the boys started sleeping through the night it became very difficult to wake up with one of them in the wee morning hours. On the nights it happens I find it much harder than it was when they were tiny newborns-  I guess its because back then I expected it. 
• One week until Christmas. We just ordered our Christmas cards. Whoops!
• I think we're going to transition the boys from the co-sleeper (its a mini) into one of their cribs in our room this weekend. I have a feeling there isn't going to be a whole lot of sleep going on... for any of us!
• We are working on changing our spare room/office over to a playroom for the boys. It will be really nice to have a space to keep some of the larger toys. 
• My hair is falling out like crazy. We figured out my thyroid was way off which could be a contributor, or it may just be postpartum hair loss.... either way, no thank you. 
• I really need to sew some stockings for the boys....again, Christmas is in ONE WEEK.
• We've traveled for Christmas every year we've been married. This year we are not making the 2 hour drive. It will be just the four of us, and I'm looking forward to the nice relaxing holiday. Hubs is taking the whole week off, so we will have daddy home for a nice chunk of time!
• The boys take 4 or 5 one hour naps per day.. I can't wait until we can drop a couple of those and make a couple of the others LONGER! It is so hard to get things done!
• I would not change a single thing about my life right now. I am so deliriously happy- it makes me realize just how unhappy I was in the years we were struggling to get pregnant. 

A Year and 4 Months!

One year ago Saturday I took a pregnancy test WAAAY too early at 4dp5dt and saw the two pink lines that changed EVERYTHING. I wasn't sure at that point if we would be blessed with two babies or one, but I had a sneaking suspicion that there would be two. I never, even after all of the waiting, dreamed they would change my life as much as they have. Sure my days are busy and my life revolves largely around eating, pooping and trying to get babies down for naps, but it is a nice change from needles, appointments and wands. I would (and likely will) do it all over again. It has been worth every single moment of heartache, painful procedure or injection and cent we ever spent. So, if you're still trying and have a some fight left in ya, KEEP GOING!

Saturday also marked another exciting day- the boys are FOUR MONTHS OLD! They are usually sleeping though the night, nursing six times per days and drinking five bottles of supplemented formula. They both can roll from belly to back, but generally choose not to. They still love their play mat, riding in the stroller and their car seats on most occasions. H will nap in his crib sometimes, but A refuses. At night they are both wedged into the co-sleeper together pulled up next to my side of the bed. H stays in the co-sleeper all night, and A usually wants to snuggle up with mama for the last couple of hours. I absolutely love having them in our room and fear it is going to be really hard for me to let them go to their own room. There is nothing sweeter than falling asleep to sweet baby sleep noises and snuggling up to a sleepy baby first thing in the morning!

I'm sure there is more to update on, but I have two little tikes not so gently reminding me that they are the priority right now :)

Three Months!

I cannot believe my sweet boys are already three months old! With every new month my heart sinks a little- they wont be babies forever. So, I spend my days neglecting my house and holding my babies- I'm ok with it, it wont be this way forever. Someday we will eat well planned meals, from a nice clean kitchen with no dishes on the counters. Until then, I just want to soak in these days- these moments that are passing far too quickly for this mama's liking!

I want to remember everything about these sweet EXHAUSTING days with my boys:

Baby A: H --- (Random question twin mamas-- is your baby A the more chill one? My OB insists he can pick A & B almost every time by temperament. A is almost always more relaxed and B is more likely to be the needy/scrappy type. SO true at our house!)

• LOVES to sleep... during the day. Get the kid snuggly and he is OUT! He is so much like his mama when it comes to sleep.
• Is pretty content (and usually sleeping) in his swing, car seat and stroller. Right now outings are a dream!
• Likes his giraffe wubbanub pacifier, but doesn't need it most of the time.
• Enjoys nursing and bottles. He almost always cries when either is over, even if he is the one to pull away. 
• Can play for a long time on his play mat by himself or alongside his brother. 
• Wakes up every 3or 4 hours at night to eat.
• Misses his brother in the pack-n-play at night when A jumps ship and gets in bed with mommy and daddy. 
• Has the most adorable dimples I've ever seen. 
• Wears a size one diaper and 3 month clothes. 
• Loves Mommy and Daddy pretty equally.
• Cries only when he needs something. He is usually pretty easy to figure out- he doesn't care too much about the status of his diaper unless its poopy, so it is usually an eat or sleep cry. 

Baby B: A

• Has a hard time shutting down and going to sleep. The kid is SO worried he is going to miss something!
• Loves his mama above all others.
• Is still a tiny guy- but long enough that we had to retire all of the newborn clothes when he reached 12 weeks old. He also transitioned to size 1 diapers just this week at 13 weeks old. 
• Forgets/doesn't like to/avoids pooping. The doctor says it is fine because he isn't actually constipated. We used suppositories for awhile but now he is going once or twice a week.
• NEEDS his froggy wubbanub pacifier.
• Usually likes riding in the car seat, stroller and swing, but often prefers the sling or front pack. 
• Loves to eat, but spits up A LOT. We think he is dealing with a bit of reflux, but not enough to medicate. 
• Has started sleeping through the night the last few nights.... if he gets into bed with us at some point. 
• Smiles with his whole face. 
• Loves to stand.
• Is a more fussy baby than his brother, but often the fussy times can be avoided if I see them coming.

In the eyes of their Mama they are the most perfect, adorable babies EVER!

The Haps...

It seems crazy to me that I haven't been back to write in this space for almost an entire month. Writing here used to be so therapeutic for me. I wish I could make it a priority now, but it seems like there are just too many things on that list right now. I think one day soon I'll find myself in a different stage of motherhood, allowing for a TINY bit more time for things like blogging... at least I hope so :)

In the meantime here is a short list of what has been happening...

• I had mastitis at the end of September- OMG, that business is PAINFUL!
• The boys started sleeping a little longer at night in October. We are no longer waking them to eat at night, but we still are waking up every 4-5 hours to eat. 
• We had a 2 month well baby visit and the boys are GROWING! At 9 weeks H was 10.3lbs and A was 8.11. They are still a little small percentile-wise, but to me H seems HUGE!
• A & H took their vaccines like champs and had very minimal discomfort afterward. In fact A was happier than his normal self...weird!
• We took our first out of town overnight trip to visit our families. It went really well. The best part was two hours in the car each way of SILENCE!
• Both boys have a new love for the swing. It is seriously magical and we've borrowed a second swing so both can swing at the same time! It has the same effect as their car seats- instant sleep!
• We had two little animals for Halloween- a giraffe and a cow. They were pretty darn cute at Daddy's office party!
• Speaking of Halloween, we spent a chunk of time at the OB's office that day. I was having HORRIBLE breast pain, but I didn't have all the symptoms I had with mastitis. It was determined I may have some sort of breast yeast infection, but I wasn't showing any symptoms except that nice razor blade pain while nursing. My doctor prescribed some AMAZING nipple cream ( same as Dr. Jack Newman APNO) and the pain subsided rather quickly thank goodness!
• I took a HUGE step and packed up the leftovers from our IVF cycle. They will soon be making their way to our RE's office for donation. Hubs was ready to do it a LONG time ago, but it wasn't until I had the boys that I was ready to give up the goods. We are fairly sure we'll do this all again, but it will NOT be happening before these expiration dates roll around!
• Packing for two babies is A LOT of work. I'm already getting things together for holiday travel. 
• I'm not a huge fan of the mini pill.... more on that another day.