Getting Real...

Every week or two I get this 'holy crap this is really happening' feeling. It seems like it has been happening a lot more in the last few weeks than it did in the first several, and I have to assume that has to do with all the nursery progress and purchases that are being made for these baby boys. 

I have a nursery. In my house there is a room that is specifically for babies. Not just any babies, not hypothetical someday babies.... OUR baby boys!

Holy Crap. 

The feeling happened when we cleaned out their room. It happened again when we bought a dresser/changer for them, when we painted their room and it happened again this week when I placed the order for their cribs and mattresses. They will be arriving Thursday and at that point I will have cribs in my house. For babies that are mine. For Andrew and Henry. 

Did I tell you I almost started crying over the weekend when we were on our way to create our baby registry? I probably would have been fine if I hadn't looked at my husband and said how happy I was, and how I wondered for so long if this was something we'd ever get to do.  

In the last several weeks I've been soaking in the happy. The true happiness that my little heart has been flooded with in the last 20 weeks, well, I guess maybe 16 weeks. I've said it to my husband over and over and thought it probably everyday. Happy feels SO good. I had forgotten this feeling. I can't say that I wasn't ever happy during all the trials of that last 3.5 years, but I can say for certain it wasn't like this. I didn't wake up every morning sore and exhausted, but still smiling and thrilled about our future. There were moments of happiness, but it if someone where to ask how I was, I wouldn't have answered with happy. Now I'm a lot of things... sore, tired, feeling huge but more than anything else, I'm deliriously happy.  

20 Weeks

How Far Along: 20 weeks 

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a small cantaloupe.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm up about 7 pounds post retrieval. 

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing more and more maternity, but a lot of  my pre-pregnancy longer tops still work. 

Movement: They are on the move, and I LOVE IT! I don't ever tire of feeling their little kicks and jabs. 

Belly button in or out? Getting more shallow. 

What I miss: Feeling rested.

Milestones: HALFWAY! I'm guessing I'm a little more than halfway since there are two babes in there. Registering over the weekend for OUR BABY SHOWER! It is just 5 short weeks away!

Food Cravings:  Nothing that really stands out.

Aversions: Eggs are slowly getting better. I've eaten them a couple of times now.

Symptoms:  Exhaustion, lots of soreness and round ligament pain. 
Best Moment this week: Seeing our babies again, finding out that they are both boys and both healthy!

Funny Moment: I was breaking down a box from something that had been shipped and popped a couple of air pillows that came in the box. The first couple didn't make much of a sound when they popped, but the last one sure did. It was right next to my belly when I popped it, and somebody inside got scared and gave me a good solid kick!
Tip of the Week: When you are going to the bathroom and feel like you are almost done emptying your bladder, lean forward as far as the belly will allow. This is a HUGE help in fully emptying your bladder so you don't have to make another trip to the loo ten minutes later!

What I'm looking forward to: Our next peek at the boys.... I'm always looking forward to seeing them again - 3 weeks from today :)

Easter

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter! Ours consisted of church (more on that later!), a waddle through the grocery store, a lavish (ha!) taco bell lunch in the sun, a traditional Easter dinner and the evening ended with me icing my crotch. Seriously. Ouch.

We've lived in this city for over two years now and have had every intention of finding a church, but never have. This morning we tried out a church. We arrived a little early and sat in a row by ourselves. Soon, a older woman came in next to us and struck up a conversation with us. She asked if we had children (this is the root of the reason I've been so reluctant to find a church) and I replied by saying "I'm pregnant with our first and second." It gave me an immense amount of joy to smile as I looked down at my belly and rubbed my baby boys. She asked if twins run our family and she also said "there are so many twins these days- I know a lot of them are those artificial ones. You know, like the ones the movie stars have." ha! The entire time hubs was squeezing my leg. In the past this conversation would have irritated me. Today, not an ounce of what she said to me mattered- I had two sweet baby boys in my belly kicking away.... That, and I'm pretty sure she just called me a movie star :)

Next up was a trip to the grocery store to prepare for an Easter dinner that we hadn't really planned on cooking for the two of us. I'm pretty sure the pregnancy waddle has begun. Everything in my pelvis is sore and this belly is starting to throw off my center of gravity. After grabbing everything we needed for dinner, we decided there was no way we would able to be able to wait a couple of hours to eat while everything cooked, so we decided on taco bell for lunch... a new Easter tradition in the making? Probably not.

And finally, my evening ended laying on the couch with an ice pack on my lady bits. Yes, that is how sore that area is. It is excruciating pain when I change positions in bed at night, get up from a sitting or laying position or walk farther than about 20 feet. As sore and uncomfortable as I am, I'd do it for 40 more weeks if I knew that my babies were safe and growing in there... thankfully I only have a maximum of 20 more to go!

To to sum up the day... my babies are 'artificial', I'm a movie star, taco bell is an appropriate holiday meal and nothing ends an evening like icing your crotch.

Registry...

We are planning to start our registry over the weekend, and while we generally know what we want/need if any of you mamas out there have favorite items  (especially mamas of twins!) please feel free to comment! Also, are there items that you wish you would have had more of... crib sheets, changing pad covers, pacifiers, swaddling blankets?

Au Natural...

Since becoming pregnant I've been asked a million times if I plan to have a natural delivery.

I always laugh. 

Every time.

Here are my thoughts in no particular order.

• I'm having twins- I may not have a lot of say in how it all ends up. 
• I have ZERO attachment to having a natural birth.
• I do not see myself as less of a women if I choose not to 'do it the way millions of women have done it' ahead of me... without drugs- in fact, I fully intend to have an epi.
• I want these babies to get here safely. If that means drugs and knives I'm ok with that.
• These babies got to my uterus via massive amounts of medication, hormones, a plastic catheter, ICSI, 5 days in a lab and many, many people other than my husband and I... nothing about this process has been 'natural' I'm guessing that isn't going to change now.  
• I may or may not have placenta previa on their birthday complements of Baby A... if things don't move I will not have the option of a vaginal delivery- like it or not. 
• I don't want to have any expectations of their birthday. They will be deciding how their day is going to go- there is no sense in me trying to write it down and prepare for it. Let's remember that I planned on them being here about 3 years prior to their arrival date- obviously they are in the driver seat.

So, there you have it, my thoughts on the birth of these sweet little babies. It is weird to think that we're getting close to the halfway point of a normal 40 week pregnancy and likely have passed the halfway point in this twin pregnancy!

I know I have A LOT of natural delivery Mamas as readers. Please know that my thought of birth is 'to each her own' we all have differing feelings about birth... these are mine :)

19 week ultrasound

... there is sure to be an enormous amount of dirt, wrestling, farting, burping and grass stains in this house of mine. That's right, I'm about to be totally outnumbered- TWO BABY BOYS!

And, because you all have been asking for it for WEEKS.... here they are in all of their glory. The belly feels huge to me, but I can only imagine what it will look/feel like in a few weeks. I'm sure I'll look back at this picture and laugh hysterically that I thought I was 'big'!!

Everything looked great on the ultrasound. Both babies are measuring a little ahead- this is always what I hope for considering twins have a tendency to come a little early. I think they were both measuring between 10-11oz each. They were crazy in there and moving a TON, so the tech had a little bit of a hard time getting images of the legs and feet, but from what she was able to measure, they looked perfect! I had a quick visit from old wandy at the end of my ultrasound appointment to check on my cervix. She didn't give me the measurement, but she did say that it looked great and was nice and long. The only slight concern at this point is Baby A's placenta is 1.7cm away from my cervix. The ideal is more than 2cm (I think cm was the measure?), so that could possibly pose an issue for a vaginal delivery, but as we all know (or did I forget publish that post?) I have ZERO expectations for the birth of these babies. 

I'll see the same doctor again in another 4 weeks for a quick appointment and another ultrasound (what will I do if I have a singleton after this twin pregnancy!?!?). After that, I'm not sure if we'll transfer to our delivering doctor (at a hospital with a nicu) for our 27/28 week appointment or if we'll see our local doctor one more time and then transfer. I was worried about this before, but this pregnancy (knock on wood) is progressing so easily and with nearly no complications so I feel completely confident sticking with our local doctor as long as things stay the same. 

19 weeks

How Far Along: 19 weeks 

How Big are the Babies? They are each the size of a mango.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm up five or six pounds post retrieval, or 11 or 12 pounds overall if you count what I lost and gained back in the beginning. 

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing all maternity on the bottom (unless I'm wearing sweats) and just a few maternity tops.

Movement: They are moving, and I'd love to feel them more often! Now that I'm feeling them, it freaks me out when I go a few hours without feeling that gentle tapping. Baby A's movements are few and far between- I wish that dang placenta would move so I'd be able to feel his movements more. 

Belly button in or out? Still in. It did crack and bleed this week.... I suppose that means it is stretching. 

What I miss: Feeling rested.

Milestones: Anatomy scan today! Update to come :)

Food Cravings:  Nothing really this week. Fruit still sounds really good.

Aversions: Eggs are slowly getting better. I've eaten them a couple of times now.

Symptoms:  Nausea when I get hungry, the never ending stuffed up nose, occasional heartburn, tailbone pain and overall fatigue. OH! and this crazy soreness/pain in what feels like the my crotch bones... anyone have this one??
Best Moment this week: Seeing the nursery all painted and ready to be decorated! I can't wait to get started. I think we'll order the cribs this week :)

Funny Moment: We painted the nursery over the weekend and were finishing up around lunch time. As Hubs put the finishing touches on the room, I said I'd run out and get lunch. I was starving! I ordered our food at the drive up and when I reached the window they informed me that they were not taking any sort of card as payment. WHAT?!?! As usual, I had no cash and I had to come home and find something at home to make for lunch, but not before I was nearly in tears in the car on the way home. Who does that to a starving pregnant woman?? Hubs looked at me like I was CRAZY when I told him how upset I was!
Tip of the Week: Protein and water fix almost anything.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing our babies TODAY and finding out for sure if we're having two boys or a boy and a girl!